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9 week old can't settle himself to sleep

(10 Posts)
nearlymumofone Fri 12-Nov-10 19:51:08

My 9 week old used to be able to settle himself to sleep easily, then about 2 weeks ago he struggled to settle himself at nap times, so we started to cuddle him to sleep- at the same time were were also trying the core night method to encourage him to sleep through which advised to cuddle instead of feeding during the night. gradually this has spread to cuddling him to sleep at night and when he wakes during the night. He now can't settle himself without being cuddled to sleep. I now don't know how to break this cycle. I feel like it's all my fault and that I should have done something else when his settling started to go wrong. he is now waking 3-4 times during the night not to be fed but cuddled back to sleep. Will this sort itself out? or anyone any ideas on what I should do?

nickytwotimes Fri 12-Nov-10 19:54:10

you should cuddle and feed.

you have done nothing wrong,

he is a wee baby - he needs human contact and comfort and food 24 hrs a day.

WhatFreshHellIsThis Fri 12-Nov-10 19:57:15

At nine weeks he's still very tiny to be on his own - he's probably become more aware of his surroundings and needs to know you're close to feel safe.

And I'm no feeding expert, but I would say you might find if you fed him when he woke in the night he might not wake as much.

He's very tiny - don't fret about getting it 'right', just do what feels right and what seems to make him happy. smile

ayjayjay Fri 12-Nov-10 19:57:40

Agree, 9 weeks is far too early for sleep training. Most babies won't self settle when that young, you haven't done anything wrong.

trixymalixy Fri 12-Nov-10 19:58:53

9 weeks old is very young to be expecting him to sleep through the night. He's probably waking through hunger, so I would feed him.

musicmaiden Fri 12-Nov-10 19:58:56

Are you sure he is not hungry? At 9 weeks there is just no way he can sleep through without at least one feed and you shouldn't be aiming for this yet IMO (I know you must be shattered though). My DS has always been a great sleeper but he definitely woke in the night once, probably twice for a feed at that age.

I don't have any suggestion about the cuddling - I would give them to him, frankly, as he's just so young. His sleep habits will change at least a zillion times in the next few months anyway.

nearlymumofone Fri 12-Nov-10 19:59:54

Thank you all so much. I've really been beating myself up about it. Do they just learn to settle themselves then? Or do they need to be taught? I'm scared that I have something so precious and am doing things wrong!! (Still very emotional and hormonal!!!)

nickytwotimes Fri 12-Nov-10 20:05:40

you poor thing - first months are so hard.

they learn themselves.

ds1 did it from 3 mths. ds2 will probably be about 20 yrs wink

they are all so different.

if it feels right to hold your baby, hold him! smile

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Fri 12-Nov-10 20:19:06

I would let him feed feed feed all evening/day, never unlatch him, until he unlatches himself.

Start a bedtime 'routine' v simple

Try and put him down with his eyes open, sometimes he won't sometimes he will.

then in the night, with no light/talking etc feed him or cuddle him, feeding is probably less interesting as cuddling probably involves rocking no?

It's worked for my 3 (till they hit 5 months then they all wake up again!)

Each is different and different things work. And he will start sleeping through at some point, the more you stress about it, the more he will pick up on this and sleep worse.

good lluck smile

HollyBollyBooBoo Fri 12-Nov-10 20:20:12

Definitely learn themselves, my DD went from being cuddled to sleep, to just resting on us, to being in cot and having my hand on her chest with gently patting to having a blankie that she cuddles.

She also has a dummy but the only time she needs it is evening sleep (not in night just that first drifting off at 7pm), but guess it would be daft for you to introduce a dummy now.

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