2 yrs olds - major tantrums at bedtime - help!

[dribbleface]

My Ds has always settled well, gone down about 7.30, chatted to sleep by himself. Last week was playing up a bit but wnet off in the end (no tears just moaning, calling me, intermittent with singing). Friday got upset, said he didn't like fireworks, got himself all upset. I took pity on him and let hime come downstairs as he was in a real state.

You can imagine the rest, major temper tantrum last 2 nights come bedtime. i don't want to leave him to scream so have tried sitting on his floor, ignoring him but offering verbal comfort. No help at all, screamng blue murder.

Tonight this ends with me in tears, Dh and I arguing, apparantly its all my fault as i'm too soft, have pandered to him since he was a baby, etc etc. I don't think shouting at him is going to help at all, will just confirm to him that bedtime is a bad time. I was/am trying the ignoring but being there type of thing.

So DS alseep now, Dh sulking in the bath, and i'm sitting crying! (am a bit PMT though in my defence!)

Need an action plan for tomorrow night at bedtime. Any ideas? He is still in a cot, thinking of getting him a bed soon but he doesn't do change very well so most likely it will not help this situation.

To top it all off i am away with work wed night for the first time (not left him overnight yet). Was not looking forward to it, but now i feel terrible.

[dribbleface]

bump

[sam2cats]

I feel your pain, I had a similar situation with my DD when she was about the same age. Bedtime became real torture. Have to say the only thing that worked in the end was a totally consistent approach to bedtime - it's different for everyone which approach you use, but it must be the same every night. In the end we did some controlled crying and after a few days things improved. She has lately taken to having a larger nightlight as well, she had a small plug in one but has the flower light from Ikea on all night now. Maybe start the bedtime ritual a bit earlier to give yourself more time. Perhaps you could ask DH to go out for an hour while you try to settle him tonight? Sometimes if you are anxious about your partner too that can make the experience worse. I certainly felt that when we were going through it. Hth and good luck!

[TerrysNo2]

With DS what has occasionally worked is to tell him, "mummy needs to go and tidy up now but I will be back to check on you in 30 minutes, ok"

We are having nightmare 2yo sleep issues at the moment but last night when I said this at 6pm (had put him to bed early just in case!) I didn't hear from him again till 5.30am! Still too early but a success anyway!

[dribbleface]

thanks all.

Definatley going down consistent route. Lay back down, bedtime etc etc. Am dreading it but trying to relax as i know it will rub off on him!

To be honest he is being difficult in all areas this week, guess he is just flexing his 2yr old muscles!

DH ill today so will stay out the way!

fingers crossed.

[dribbleface]

Well put him to bed with books and a torch. Left door open at his request. Had about 5 mins of low level moaning, i went up once, told him i had to feed the cat and would come back. All quiet for last 10 minutes - fingers crossed!

Thanks for support - we will see what happens later/tomorrow!

[sam2cats]

Ah that's great, maybe it was just a short phase....fingers crossed for you!