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social services

(33 Posts)
tandoori Fri 29-Oct-10 18:36:23

my child's development is fine and i don't wish to see the health visitor anymore.hv said we are getting refered to social services.we have been refered before but the case got closed.apparantly there are concerns but when asked what those concerns are she can't tell us.that's because there isn't any.she is doing it out of spite because we have finally decided to stop letting her bully us in to doing things we do not want to do.what can i do about this so that ss will leave us alone? im sure the case will get closed agin,but she will probably keep making lies up.

Babieseverywhere Fri 29-Oct-10 18:42:04

Can you not ask for a referral to a different HV or HV team ? Maybe a new HV will have a different view on your child's development.

lollipopshoes Fri 29-Oct-10 18:43:23

if your HV has concerns that she is referring to SS, she should tell you what those concerns are.

If she has nothing then SS will investigate and find nothing.

Either way you should ask for a new HV. How old is/are your dc?

Spero Fri 29-Oct-10 18:45:22

If she can tell you she is making a referral, she can tell you the concerns. What has she said were her concerns before she made the referral?

tandoori Fri 29-Oct-10 18:50:27

ny child is 2 and a half.im also preganant so i don't need all this stress right now

tandoori Fri 29-Oct-10 18:52:57

there isn't any concern.she is making things up as she goes along.

Spero Fri 29-Oct-10 18:55:11

OK, you don't accept her concerns are valid. But she must be saying something about why she is concerned. What is she saying? and why do you say she is making it up?

tandoori Fri 29-Oct-10 19:05:52

referals have been made before but each time it gets closed,so another one gets made with a different 'concern' she is making it up,she is concerned because we don't want her poking her nose in anymore!

Spero Sun 31-Oct-10 00:21:45

As you won't say what the 'concerns' are, even if they were rejected, it is difficult to know what to say. If all the previous concerns have been rejected, I suppose these will as well. But don't you have to ask yourself why concerns keep being raised? Are you just incredibly unlucky to have an incompetent and/or malicious health visitor or is there something about your parenting or the way you come accross that is causing reasonable concerns?

LoopyLoupGarou Sun 31-Oct-10 00:25:13

Have you asked for a different HV?

You must have been told of what these concerns are, surely?

If you haven't been told, how do you know they are unfounded?

Are her concerns simply that you don't want HV involvement?

Seriously, try a different HV.

hester Sun 31-Oct-10 00:30:44

OP, there must be something you're not telling us? I don't mean that I doubt your assertion that there are no grounds for concern, but most HVs are seriously overstretched and she must have SOME reason for focusing all this attention on you - even if it's not a good or valid reason?

Have you tried talking to your HV's supervisor/manager? Have you put in a complaint in writing?

ForMashGetSmash Sun 31-Oct-10 21:04:29

I had a shocking HV...she tried to make me put a different religion on my forms....and she tutted and rolled her eyes when I said I was bottle feeding! I ttold her to leave the house...some of them ARE a bit crackers. OP have you spoken to your doctor about te HVs concerns? Or mentioned them to any ther professional? It might be a god thing to do...sometimes another healthcare professional can shed light on things which are not made clear at first.

Did your baby have any health troubles or feeding issues?

tandoori Sun 31-Oct-10 21:26:56

i don't know what the concerns are,she is just complaining that we don't want to see her. i have already told her i will let the dr's keep an eye on my child.

MumBarTheDoorZombiesAreComing Sun 31-Oct-10 21:46:02

Are you sure she's actually a HV, I mean have you checked her ID??

This sounds really wierd. If your referred to SS they will visit and tell you why. They may then say they can't find evidence of the concerns, or they are not going to follow it up.

I would phone GP for emergency apt tomorrow and discuss it with him. Just tell him that its not good for your emotional well-being when pg to have this level of stress. He may be able to shed some light on HV concerns or assign you another one??

Is there housing/ space issues?? Is she perhaps trying to help your situation?? <clutches straws>.

It's unlikely its because you don't want to see her, unless its because she's concerned without her input you'll struggle??

tandoori Sun 31-Oct-10 21:58:37

there isn't any housing problems.without her input i would be far better off,as all she is doing is trying to stress me out.the social services have already said there is no concerns but she just keeps phoning them every time she we dont agree with her.which hasn't been very often as we have gone along with them for ages and they think that they can continue to bully us.

ForMashGetSmash Sun 31-Oct-10 22:03:30

I find this hard to believe...once you dispense with a HV they don't keep coming back...they stop calling.

What issues do you disagree on? With me, it was a HV who made a fuss because DD lost weight in her first week! Which is normal! It was as if the woman wasn't trained!

Spero Sun 31-Oct-10 23:07:39

I don't want to be rude or add to your stress, but from how you come across here I would guess that part of your problem is your ability to communicate. You do come across as having something to hide. But if you can't or won't elaborate on what you think the concerns are (even if you don't agree with them) I don't understand what you hope to gain from this thread.

ForMashGetSmash Sun 31-Oct-10 23:40:44

Yes OP...you are suggsting there s something you don't want to say here...and you dont have to...but you should also bear in mind that people will be concerned...and they will wonder if you and the baby are ok.

LoopyLoupGarou Sun 31-Oct-10 23:49:24

I have to say I agree, it sounds to me a little like you are too defensive, and maybe she is worried that there is a reason for this, even though she can't put her finger on why? Maybe try being as open as you can be and see if that makes things better.

tandoori Mon 01-Nov-10 10:09:13

i was hoping for some support from people who may have been in a similar situation.i can't say exactly what concerns because she won't tell me! we have communicated with them for ages but they have no respect for people's privacy and they threaten us when we don't go along with EVERTHING they tell us to.

BabyDubsEverywhere Mon 01-Nov-10 10:28:11

YOU NEED TO GIVE MORE DETAILS!

What have they suggested you do? what have you gone along with?
What have you not gone along with?
What have you disagreed with?
What did social services say the concern was?

tandoori Mon 01-Nov-10 10:38:12

i cant give more details because i haven't got any! they have told us basically how to live every part of our lives.we have dissagreed to them ivading our privacy any longer.when social services came before they did an assesment which says there isn't any concerns!

BabyDubsEverywhere Mon 01-Nov-10 11:13:07

Lets make this simple...

You have said you have disagreed with her - WHAT HAVE YOU DISAGREED ABOUT?

You have said you have gone along with what they suggest - WHAT HAVE YOU GONE ALONG WITH?

LoopyLoupGarou Mon 01-Nov-10 11:44:50

How many times have you seen her?
Does she visit often?
Has this been the same since you had your baby?
Have you seen any others, or just the same one?
How do you feel that they are invading your privacy? By visiting or by telling you to do certain things? If telling you to do things, what things? Are they things you disagree with?
You say they tell you how to live every part of your lives - can we have some examples?

It is very hard to help unless we understand what is going on.

ragged Mon 01-Nov-10 12:00:49

Exactly what did HV say about how to live your life?

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