Unhappy at school

[pennie19]

My 10 year-old boy has just gone back to school and suddenly he's withdrawn, miserable and uncommunicative. Outside school he's sociable, enthusiastic and happy but the minute school starts again it's as if all the light goes out of his face and I am desperate to know what to do. He's been to self-esteem workshops run by the school all last term which seemed to help a bit. He's had difficulty in making friends (at school, not outside). His mind works a bit differently to most - remarks that seem odd at first turn out to come from a completely different (and often more interesting) approach. His school work is fine, although he complains that it's hard and boring. The problem seems to have slowly got worse over the past 3 years (he's been at his present school for 1 year). He has seen an educational psychologist, who suggested mild autism, but he exhibits none of these signs outside school so I am reluctant to go down that route. I'm beginning to think that mainstream education is the problem, not him! Where do I go from here?

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

It sounds like the school is really the wrong one for him. What's it like?

[pennie19]

It's a good school - it's fairly formal but not that uptight. My eldest went through happily, but he thrives on routine and is more academic.

[MadameSin]

Do you think he needs any kind of support at school to help his learning? Have the school said anything about him ? You mention an Ed Psych, was he referred via the school? Sorry, to many questions ....

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Different children, find the school to fit the child, don't make the child fit the school.

It sounds like he needs somewhere that's more nurturing and accepting of his quirks, he's incredibly unhappy there. If he were my child then I'd move him.

[pennie19]

I'm really not worried about his learning - I'd rather he was happy first and foremost. He saw the Ed Psych in his previous school, not this one which is why I'm not convinced that moving schools is the answer. Except maybe if it was Summerhill - I strongly suspect that might be his kind of school but too far away and don't think I could contemplate boarding school.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

ould you home ed him? He'll be moving to secondary school in 12 months.

[pennie19]

It doesn't feel right somehow - he's such sociable little soul outside school, I hate to think of cutting him off from possible future friendships.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

He won't be having any friendships from schools if he is unhappy there though.

[maureenlydia]

Hi
How is your son now?
I just found your post because I put in “ my ten yr old says he’s miserable”... my son seems happy out of school but in school says he goes to the library for quiet and hates noise. He dances a lot and enjoys music- laughs with his brother but at nighttime tells me, “there’s something wrong”. I can never get any more from him than that. What should I do?? I’m feeling desperate but I don’t want to make him feel worse - he tells me he doesn’t want to talk to anyone or have to express his feelings?

[donnaeastman]

Find a school that would best fit for your child. He might not be comfortable in his environment that's why he seems to be unhappy.

[Benandhollysmum]

Your kid seems very clever, he is being honest he finds school boring. Maybe he’s to clever for that class and needs something to challenge his mind, like the other kids might be holding him back because he already knows the answer but getting frustrated by the other kids who don’t really know the answer and need a little help.

[RuthSovoie]

For how long is he like that?