Change baby name at 8 months - please help!!!!(35 Posts)
My ds is about 8 months and for a few months I've been regretting his name. I always had doubts over the name but thought I'd get over it when he was here and for the first few months I felt fine with it. However for the past 4 months I've been agonising over it to the pojnt it's starting to become an obsession and I find it difficult to even call him by name. Has anyone actually changed their child's name? Was there any impact? I know under 1 it can be changed on the birth certificate so presumably he would never know how indecisive his mother is??! In a way I'm desperate to change it but part of me feels guilty about doing it as if people will think I'm changing him??? Please help me!!!
I suspect he would know, relatvies will mention it. Up to you but I think at 8 months trying to learn to love his name is probably easier -but it's your call of course. Congrats on you're boy!
Does he have a middle name by which he could go that you would be more comfortable? That way you don't need to worry about altering the birth certificate at all.
Other than that, I've changed my own name, by Deed Poll (and had been going by my middle name, which has now become my first, for some time before that). I found that gentle prompting each time someone mistakenly called me by my old name was all it took. Everyone is now thoroughly used to my new name (it's been 9 years) and some people have only known me by that name anyway.
You will not be changing him. I think you will feel far better once you have changed it. I certainly did when I changed my name (I'd been umming and ahhing over it for some time before I finally took the plunge). Far easier that you do it this way than going through all the palaver of Deed Poll and so on.
If you are really struggling to call him the name then it is obviously a serious problem for you.
Do you know what you want to change it to? DO you have a DP/DH to help you deicde?
oh go on whats the name?
what don't you like about it, does it just not suit him?
I changed DS's name just before he turned 6 months. It sounds like you feel the same as I did - didn't want to call him the original name to start with, but agreed after the birth. It didn't bother me too much for the firth few months, I suppose because I had so much on my mind becoming a mum for the first time, but then it became an obsession. I'm glad I changed it.
Both names are on the long birth certificate by the way, so he will know. I added a new name to the front and kept the original name as an additional middle name.
I have mentioned how I feel to dh a few times but he just thinks it post pregnancy hormones and me being a bit crazy so he's always persuaded me to keep the name. I just don't know what to do - if I change it I'll have to get rid of all his birth cards and he was given a few gifts with his name on which would make me sad - but that's not reason enough to keep a name is it???
Hattee - I thought they just changed the birth certificate completely?? Is it just the extract that shows the new name? Does that mean your little one will be known as his original name on official docs like passport etc?
Youe wouldn't have to get rid of the cards! There's no reason to keep it secret from him. It would just be an interesting story to tell him, and might be a reason for him to be extra proud of his "new" name. e.g. "we were going to call you James, but it became apparent very early on that you were a Cuthbert through and through."
And I'd go for it now if I were you. I have mild regrets about DD's name. It's lovely, but I would have liked to have given her a v uncommon long version of her name on her birth certificate, rather than just the short version (which is in the top 50 names).
May06 - his new name is his legal name, and is on all official forms. The new short birth certificate shows the new name only. Box 2 on his long birth certificate shows the original name, and box 17 shows the new name
Also want to ask the same as piratecat. What is it about the name that you don't like?
And do you have an alternative?
It's the fact that it is also a word so people are forever using it in sentences and I find myself when I hear it thinking are they talking to my ds or not??? And so I'm afraid he'll go through the same thing and I'd hate to think I've lumbered him. I know sone people pronounce the 2 words differently but where I'm living they don't so it's very hard to distinguish.
I changed the spelling of DD's name at 11 months. Before she had an "original" spelling and then I changed to the standard one. No regrets whatsoever. Both names are on the long birth certificate, but only the new one on the short certificate.
Am intrigued as to what the name is now you say it is a word.
I think if you are going to do it you really need to do it quickly. The rest of your family will all have got used to calling him that name and will find it difficult to change.
May06: My name is one which is not an everyday word as such, but there was a certain question (asked daily at school!) which always made my head shoot up because the blending of the last syllable in one word and the first syllable in the next created the sound of my name and I was never really sure whether I was being addressed or not. Frankly, it was such a distraction (and remains so today) and I can remember really wishing my parents had chosen something else!
There are hundreds of names where that is the case though!
Mark (dirty stain/mark my words), John (toilet), Lou (loo - toilet), Will (left behind by dead relative/will he won't he), Bill (dollar bill), Cliff (rock exposure), Kurt (curt - precise), Peter (to peter out), Dick (ahem), Matt (small carpet), Jack (lever up a car), Abi (abbey - monastery), Sue (take to court), Dawn (morning), Di (die - expire), Neil (kneel - get down on knees), Rob (steal), Toby (mug), Jim (gym - exercise place), Barney (argue), Carol (Christmas song), Grace (prayer said before a meal), Scott (get off scott-free), Dom (dominatrix). Etc etc!
Tell us the name and maybe we can set your mind at rest. Bet its not that bad!!!
PLEASe tell us the name I am intrigued!!
I actually feel for you. Im going through a bit of an obsession at the mo too with my DS name. It is so common where we live that I now feel myself embarrassed telling people and he is 9 months now. I wish we had gone with our original choice of name but he didnt seem to suit it when he was born. My doubts stared to creep in at 6 weeks and i wish I had changed it then but felt it was too late. Feel its def too late now and people would think i was mad.
I wouldn't worry about people thinking you are mad newmum265 - everyone took my DS's name change in their stride. I seemed to be the only one that thought it was a big deal. At 6 months I don't think he knew his name yet - especially as I hated using it and mostly used pet names anyway. I love his new name
May06 I think you should talk to DH about it. Try out your alternative for a day or a week and see how it fits. If you do decide to change it I would personally be tempted to leave the original name in as a middle name.
I think if you would like to do this then it is best to clear the air with DH about it. He needs to know how much it bothers you.
If you do change it I would send out an announcement to friends and relatives saying you have changed it and just keep it light and perky. Everyone should just accept this. Although once your DS is an adult he may decide to use the original name or another one. I have at least one male friend who changed his first name, one male friend who changed both names and one female friend who changed her surname plus masses of female friends who changed their surname when they married! So it is not a big deal but I do think you need to discuss with DH and try out your new name first.
I regretted ds's name for about a year after we had him. I also became slightly obsessed with it and worried every time I said it in public that people were thinking it was an odd choice. It is also a name which can be used for something else and can be a girls name so I worried people might think he is female!! However, 5 years on and I now love it - it is HIS name and I'm very proud that it is unique and different. My dh never questioned our choice for a minute and wouldn't even entertain changing it so I felt I had to get used to it really.
My friends Dad decided when she was nearly 2 years old that he just couldnt get used to her name and it didnt suit her at all so they just told everyone from there on out they were going to call her by her middle name. Its the only name we ever knew her by!
My friend changed her boy's name at 18 months - why not? If you feel you made a mistake, why forge on when you can easily change it - he is too young to be bothered at all by it?
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