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Family name tradition - choosing not to follow it

(10 Posts)
Abubu Thu 29-Oct-09 16:36:43


I may well be jumping the gun a bit here, as we have not had our second scan yet so don't know what we are having... but I have a feeling we're going to have a boy this time....

Anyway, DH's first name has been used for at least the last 5 generations of men in his family.

The tradition for the first born oldest son is to have this particular name (not giving the name as it's not the name itself i want opinions on).

Anyway, the first name combined with the surname sound slightly, (but not overly) comical.
For example think along the lines of Edward Woodward.

My husband has always said he would want to name a son with the same name, as it is his family tradition.

Then last week out of the blue he suddenly said that he doesn't want to do that anymore.

He said that he got fed up as a kid and still now of people saying "you're parents must have had a sense of humour - ha ha" or something similar when they hear his name and thinks it may be time for a stop to the tradition.

I had always accepted that if we have a boy, there would be no name "choosing" as I know that it is an important family tradition, plus I actually like the first name in question. Although to be honest I would find it weird that there would be 4 generations of the family alive at the same time with the same name.

So, my question is, if we don't go with the family name do you think DH will live to regret it and wish he had followed the tradition?

Like I said, might be jumping the gun, but just have a feeling....

Don't want to discuss this with the inlaws as I suspect they will think I have put ideas into his head.

Thanks for reading this long post.

MRSwereWOOLFhasabroomofherown Thu 29-Oct-09 16:42:36

You could perhaps use it in the middle name slot instead. Five generations isn't a terribly long standing tradition, in terms of wanting to break with.

RatherBeOnThePiste Thu 29-Oct-09 16:44:42

Read this with interest as my friends family have this issue too. They just gave their son the family name as a middle name. So it was there. They just started a new tradition !

diddl Thu 29-Oct-09 16:45:52

If he doesn´t like the name much himself, why would he want to impose it on his son?

I´ve always thought it an odd tradition,tbh and almost an insult to name the child after the father rather than give them their "own" name.

Perhaps you could use it as a middle name?

My son has the same middle name as his father & grandfather-but only because I we like it!

Heated Thu 29-Oct-09 16:51:49

In both sides family have naming traditions and both my brother and I have completely ignored them, yet have honoured family members with the middle name. Perhaps it would be nice to do something like that?

Support your dh in this decision, make clear to his family this is HIS decision, and have fun naming him/her.

choppychopster Thu 29-Oct-09 16:53:37

As long as you actually quite like the name, maybe use it as a middle name.

Although I've not got my dad's family name of Lamrock - it was a first name for several generations, then my dad and my aunt both had it as a middle name. My dad wanted it as my middle name too, but I'm glad my mum put her foot down and said no.

mathanxiety Thu 29-Oct-09 17:04:31

The first generation of the name obviously didn't have any tradition of using it. Use it as the middle name, especially if your Dh is not that keen on foisting it upon any DS you have.

lola0109 Fri 30-Oct-09 21:41:43

Could you maybe have something with the same meaning?

That way it's sort of following the tradition but without the "unfortunate" combination. (eg Armstrong and Harvey both mean strong)

Alternatively, if you do have a girl, is there a feminine form that you could use that sounds better and start a new tradition.

Failing that I'd go for using it as a middle name.

LynetteScavo Fri 30-Oct-09 21:45:09

Well, it has to stop sometime!

Use the family name as a middle name instead.

CuppaTeaJanice Mon 02-Nov-09 14:51:07

I hate this type of tradition - one of my friends had to give her son the same first name AND middle name AND surname as his dad, grandad, great grandad.........

An insult to the mother's family and heritage, as well as being bloody confusing when the postman comes.

A surname is intended to honour the family heritage. Any other names, especially the first name, should surely be chosen specifically for the new baby.

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