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Could you chose a name for your baby that you're not keen on?

(25 Posts)
Tomatefarcie Sun 04-Oct-09 10:05:33

I explain:

We have two DDs. I chose their names as Dp was so undecisive. Both babes were not named till after birth, as he kept refusing anything I offered. But he didn't have any suggestions. He wasn't overly keen on their names, but now loves them and says they were a very good choice.

We're now expecting our third DC, and he says it's only fair that he chooses this one's name, as I named the first two. His suggestions are ok-ish, but his favourite one simply doesn't go with our surname.

Should I just let him chose? We argued about it last night...sad

Cadelaide Sun 04-Oct-09 10:12:18

Oh I do sympathise.

DP was also chronically indecisive, we took the full 6 weeks to name all of our 3.

For me it was very important that we both chose the name(s). As a consequence of DP's dithering DC3 "ended up" with a name that I'm not mad about, it was chosen on the way to the registry office in a car full of chattering/crying children and I was at my wit's end with it all grin.

He's 3 now and gradually, gradually I've grown to like the name more and more. Don't love it though.

I'd dig my heels in if I were you.

lljkk Sun 04-Oct-09 10:22:00

I totally think it's his turn to choose. He has been very accommodating so far. How can you prejudge whether you will come to love it or not?

Jennylee Sun 04-Oct-09 10:35:33

no you both have to agree, you named the first 2 as he could not decide, does not mean he gets to name the other one.

Tomatefarcie Sun 04-Oct-09 10:40:29

Where did I get UNdecisive from??? grin

I wish there was a name that we both like. I really do. We even made lists then swapped, there wasn't a single one in common. Not one.

lljkk, he let me chose the names as he couldn't come up with anything himself. Just kept saying "naaah, I don't like that" to every suggestion.

Now he has come up with one, which simply sounds awful with ur surname, a major tongue twister!

clam Sun 04-Oct-09 10:40:37

There are some things in life that you can take turns at. Choosing your child's name is NOT one of them. The only reason you ended up choosing the first two was because he clearly had no strong contenders of his own. You cannot be expected to go with a name you dislike now because of that. He vetoed ones he hated then, so you can certainly do that now.
But there must surely, out of all the millions of names out there, be some compromise available?

belgo Sun 04-Oct-09 10:43:10

It's normal to compromise and choose a name that is not your favourite, but you do have to like the name and it should go with your surname.

MarionCrane Sun 04-Oct-09 10:44:27

You both need to agree on a name - keep searching.
Trawl through baby name websites until the perfect name jumps out at you.

There are times when it's worth giving in for an easy life - this is not one of them! grin

tattycoram Sun 04-Oct-09 10:47:52

No no no! Keep looking

Jennylee Sun 04-Oct-09 10:50:37

I'm speaking of someone who would nto give in even though our name was basically the same name, in the end we compromised as i woudl nto back down.
He wanted Anna

I wanted Ana-lucia

it ended up Anna-lucia, I won. He calls her anna I call her anna-lucia. we both won

Maggie34Behave Sun 04-Oct-09 11:02:44

You were pretty lucky to get to choose the first two times.

maybe coax him into a compromise name that has a cooler nick name?? that can sneakily organically evolve..

LynetteScavo Sun 04-Oct-09 11:03:37

You both need to agree on a name...but as you've been pg for 9 months, and done all teh hard work, you get a little bit more of a say.

I really wanted DD to be Anna, and somtimes think it would be great, but as DH wasnt' so kee, it's her middle name, and we compromised.

Maggie34Behave Sun 04-Oct-09 11:10:51

What's the name?! can you tell us roughly what the sur name is so we can get a picture of what names you need to avoid to steer clear of peter piper picked a pickled pot of pepper kind of thing.

diddl Sun 04-Oct-09 11:11:13

No, couldn´t have a name I didn´t like.

That said, didn´t expect husband to put up with a name he didn´t like either.

I think you need to both like it, even if it means neither get the name of their choosing!

ScummyMummy Sun 04-Oct-09 11:11:13

Both parents have power of veto on names that they feel just won't work/they don't like, surely? You have to keep looking until you find one you agree on, I think. Why not wait till he/she's born and see what suits him/her?

pointydoug Sun 04-Oct-09 11:18:17

Tricky. I went with dh's top choice for one of ours and I sorta regret it

MaggieBehave Sun 04-Oct-09 11:20:43

it's awful when that happens. I think i have the naming buyers regret thing too.

there was no way my x was ever going to let me get my way though, as my taste was so outlandish compared to his ultra conservative taste. But the names I feel they should be are still in my head. In a parallel universe for me those are their names. although, I do see that their more-conservative-than_i-would-have-chosen names do do them well, and they fit in with their peers no problem and nobody's ever made weird comments....

Tomatefarcie Sun 04-Oct-09 18:02:25

Thanks for your replies. I can understand both sides really...

He likes Brooke if we have a girl, and our surname starts with Bro and has an X and a Z in it.

If it's a boy, he wants James after his grandfather. DD1 is already named after his grandmother (I came up with the idea, Dp wasn't fussed, I thought he'd be pleased).

Both my grandmother and grandfather passed away in the last 2 years, but using their names hasn't crossed his mind at all. I did mention them, but I'm quite flexible really. Just not a name that the poor kid will have to spell all his/her life, or one that would sound like he/she has a bad chesty cough!!

We've still got 3 months to come up with something we both like, but it didn't happen for our first 2 DDs, so I took the lead a bit...wink

opinionatedmother Sun 04-Oct-09 18:11:31

'man proposes, woman disposes' - best at least retain an absolute veto on any name. i don't like Brooke, and from what you say it would be a bit comedic.

diddl Sun 04-Oct-09 18:17:53

Doesn´t sound as if Brooke will go will your surnames.

What were your grandparents names?

belgo Sun 04-Oct-09 18:21:28

I wouldn't compromise on Brooke tbh.

skidoodle Sun 04-Oct-09 18:25:11

It's not at all fair that he forced you to choose the first two names and is now claiming the right to choose the third.

Tell him to sod off and that you will have to choose a name together this time.

Brooke is a crap name and if turns are so important to him, then your grandparents get a look in now since one of his has already been honoured.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Sun 04-Oct-09 18:25:50

Really like brooke and it is his name. But you do both have to like the name even if he picks it. If you've argued over it it's not really the same now.

I always liked that DH had input in our baby's names. But I dote on DH which is probably why.

Heated Sun 04-Oct-09 18:34:14

Squeezing something the size of a melon out you fanjo gives you power of veto - unwritten law.

ifinallydidit Sun 04-Oct-09 18:42:52

I think you'll regret it if you do. I went with DH's choice, and regretted it so much that we changed DD's name when she was 5 months old! We are both happy with the new name and her original name is now an additional middle name. A lot of upset could have so easily been avoided if I hadn't assumed that I would just get used to it.

You both need to be happy with the name

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