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please i need advice- going crazy

(15 Posts)
thisisyesterday Sun 30-Aug-09 21:00:33

ok so long story short: ds3 is born, dp and i cannot decide on a name. we have a shortlist, then a longlist, then another shortlist.
all lovely names, none that we LOVE. i have one name that i love, dp hates it.

fastforward 2 weeks. i wear dp down and he agrees that he can live with my name i love. we go and register ds3.

problem: now i am not sure i love it as much as i thought i did.
maybe it was hormones. maybe i just wanted what i thought i couldn't have. maybe i am just blood stupid..

but i cannot stop thinking that it just isn't his name. it is a lovely name. everyone says it's fab and it is. but i am not sure it is the right name. we had a second choice and i was thinking of changing it to that, but now even that isn't quite right and i am starting to think of all the bloody names we had on lists and wondering if any suit him any better.

2 weeks time it's his naming day. so, he really needs a definite name by then.
despite not loving the name dp is reluctant to change it because it is his name now, and the 2 other ds's like it as well.

i am so torn. do i leave it and risk it annoying me forever more? do i change it? if i change it will i then decide it was right after all. because hey, i've already done that once! and i am scared that i'll change it and then hate the name i've changed it to.

what would you do? what should i do???

thisisyesterday Sun 30-Aug-09 21:01:55

oh, also he is now 10 weeks old,.
and people have made him stuff with his name on, which i know didn't ought to affect what we do, but it kind of does!

Tortington Sun 30-Aug-09 21:03:47

depends on the name

bargainhuntingbetty Sun 30-Aug-09 21:06:07

Is it a name that can be shortened to something?? Maybe if you shortened it, it would seem like a new name and then you would like it. FWIW I chose my DD1's name and have never been overly struck on it. DD2's name i LOVE.

thisisyesterday Sun 30-Aug-09 21:06:44

ah ha now i knew ppl would say that. the thing is i don't want to post it because i don't want people to base their answers on whether or not they like the name iyswim?

i want to know if i am just crazy changing my mind the whole time lol

boodleboot Sun 30-Aug-09 21:07:13

CONGRATULATIONS on your lovely new

i reckon a MN poll may make things to complicated and that really you are prob having second thoughts about the name as you are sleep deprived and hormonal....i don't really advocate changing names personally but as *custardo says it really does depend on the name and how 'workable' in a RL rather than MN environment... so you kinda gotta tell us the name....

justbeme Sun 30-Aug-09 21:08:47

Has he got a middle name - you could always call him by that if you prefer that one - My DP's Dad was always known by his middle name, but on paperwork he used his first name.

thisisyesterday Sun 30-Aug-09 21:09:58

but i don't want people to say "oooh yes you ought to change it" simply because they don't like the name iyswim?

because what it comes down to is, do i really not like it or do i just not love it? if i change it will i then not like the new name either
because there really isn't a name i absolutely love, so will i feel the same about any name i just "like"?

it isn't about the actual name per se. do you see what i'm saying? (i have a tendency to blather lol)

boodleboot Sun 30-Aug-09 21:13:35

i would say in that case try and think about it from your sons point of view instead of your own....if it is a name that will cause him probs, ie a bit effeminate or whatever then it may be a tad self-centred to foist it on him but if its a good strong name for boy and man then really your little wobbles should be irrelevant....its not YOUR name...iyswim smile

mathanxiety Sun 30-Aug-09 21:15:41

This is the problem with naming committees, which is what a mum and dad, and sometimes also the siblings really are. Not everybody loves every name and you end up with the least objectionable, not necessarily the perfect name for the DC. If everyone else is just fine with it, then try your best to accept it and move on, especially if you don't have the perfect alternative. The baby needs a name, and it looks as if he already has one. If there's a next time, you can get your act together sooner?

thisisyesterday Sun 30-Aug-09 21:16:35

this is true! it's a very cool name, imo. the children all have a more unusual first name and a traditional middle name so i guess if he does hate it then he's always got his middle name he can use

hmmm. when i start to seriously think of changing it a voice in my head says noooo it's a lovely name,
i think i am actually crazy. i am not sure you lot can help lol

thisisyesterday Sun 30-Aug-09 21:18:27

i did try and choose one b efore he was born., in fact i think i made my first name list when i was about 12 weeks pg.

i guess the problem is that there was no name we both loved. with ds1 we pretty much knew what he would be from the get-go. ds2 we had a couple that we both really liked, but this time it's been really hard.
and as there are soooo many that i like it was difficult to choose the right one for him

i am probably overthinking it waaaaaayyy too much. it's just a name right>>

bargainhuntingbetty Sun 30-Aug-09 21:19:20

Maybe if you start another thread with ' Welcome to the world baby XXXXX' you will accept that it is babies name now.

boodleboot Sun 30-Aug-09 21:24:33 long as it isn't a name that will incite bullying and your other two DC like it....and DH at a push cos i actually am of the camp that a mother should name a bubs in the final instance....just go give him a kiss and say 'hello babyXXX'

job done. wink

cece Sun 30-Aug-09 21:25:09

i had this with dc1 - we named her the more 'controversial' name from our shortlist of 3. at the time it felt right. however for ages i doubted in my mind whether we had done the right thing and regretted it. now she is 8 i don't give it a moments thought as it is her name iyswim.

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