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So we've chosen our name then found out a friend who's just had her baby has already taken it? what to do?

(154 Posts)
mrswee Sat 29-Aug-09 14:47:06

Found out this morning that our chosen name that we are dead set on has already been taken by a friend who has just had her baby.

It's not an overly popular name. Our friend didn't know we had it in mind it's just a total coincidence, she doesn't live in the same city but has lots of mutal friends with us and is hoping to move back here soon.
Our baby is due in a month so they will be very close in age.

so do you think we can still use the name??

thanks!

Scorps Sat 29-Aug-09 14:48:21

If its something like Grace or Olivia i think you can get away with it. However if its very unique or not very 'normal' then could you ask friend, explain?

SpawnChorus Sat 29-Aug-09 14:48:44

Of course you can!

ilovesprouts Sat 29-Aug-09 14:50:14

whats the name

throckenholt Sat 29-Aug-09 14:51:17

I would. Your child is yours for life - you may lose touch with your friend. Unless it is really rare - in which case I would have a chat with your friend - and say what a coincidence - we had chosen that name too ....

DesperateHousewifeToo Sat 29-Aug-09 14:51:34

Of course you can use the same name. smile

belgo Sat 29-Aug-09 14:51:55

Depends on the name. Tell us!

piscesmoon Sat 29-Aug-09 14:52:38

Of course you can use it-tell her that you aren't copying, but had set your heart on it.Your baby has it for life-she may only be a friend of the other DC for 5 yrs out of 80+ years.

edam Sat 29-Aug-09 14:55:05

Yes, of course you can. But worth mentioning it to your friend, what a coincidence, that's the name we've chosen etc. etc. etc.

mrswee Sat 29-Aug-09 14:56:25

I have let her know in a chatty email that we had already chosen it too and I hope she won't think it's a terrible faux pas if we go ahead and use it. She's very sweet, I don't think my friend will mind at all.

I am more thinking friends will think nice name but hasn't so and so already used that!

Oh go on then, the name is Elsie.

I just hope my friend isn't on mumsnet!!

LadyGlencoraPalliser Sat 29-Aug-09 14:57:49

Lovely name. You should definitely use it, I'm sure your friend will be fine with it.

belgo Sat 29-Aug-09 14:58:04

Elsie is very pretty. What about Eliza, Esme or Maisie as similar alternatives?

If not, use Elsie.

mrswee Sat 29-Aug-09 15:00:49

Thanks, both myself and DH have liked it from early on and it's grown on us in a big way. In fact it the only name we have agreed on!

I bought a good name book and looked through the whole thing and nothing else came to mind....

Of course she may not suit when she is born, but it seems such a lovely name!

MrsVik Sat 29-Aug-09 15:08:26

I think it's fine. If it were me I'd be feeling a bit disappointed that someone got in before us, but that will wear off soon enough. The two babies will have totally different characters!

Do you have many mutual friends? I could imagine a few comments if you share social circles to a large extent, but other than that, just take it as a compliment that someone loves the name as much as you do

Tinfoil Sat 29-Aug-09 15:17:13

It's up to you what name you choose. It can't be "taken" by a friend; your friend doesn't own the copyright of the name. If you both choose the same one it just means you have similar tastes

piscesmoon Sat 29-Aug-09 15:24:39

Elsie is my real 'pet hate' of a name! I am very tempted to say find another! However-my first advice stands.

southernbelle77 Sat 29-Aug-09 15:35:20

This has happened to me too! Well, sort of! I had a name on my list that I really liked and then found out that a friend has just called her newborn the same name! I have now taken it off the list as it was a set name that we had chosen and dh isn't too disappointed so figure he wasn't as keen as me anyway!

If you really like it and you had your heart set on it, then go for it.

southernbelle77 Sat 29-Aug-09 15:36:06

was wasn't a set name

littleducks Sat 29-Aug-09 15:49:51

SIL did this to me, there was no bad intention on her part and she didnt know but i was upset. Still wish that dd had dn's name sometimes, but obv my sil is around but if she had just been a friend (i unexpoectedly moved when dd was 9 months so have lost touch with friends from that area) i would have def stuck to it

Lulubee Sat 29-Aug-09 16:43:37

You should go for it - your daughters will probably like having the same name as they grow older, and they may be distinguished by their second initial - i.e. Elsie B and Elsie G, by your mutual friends. It's a gorgeous name btw.

troutpout Sat 29-Aug-09 18:06:50

Go with it

Fimbo Sat 29-Aug-09 18:40:50

I only discovered last year that dh has a cousin who's dd has the same name as our dd. I would go for it.

bluebump Sat 29-Aug-09 18:46:05

This happened to two of my friends who had babies within a month of each other and neither minds that they have a DD with the same name. I'd say go for it.

tummytickler Sat 29-Aug-09 19:14:33

I wouldn't dream of doing it - i have real trouble using a name that is within our social circle and would never knowingly do it, even if we only know them a little, to chat to in the playground!
But, most people (including dh) think i am bonkers to hold this point of view, so you should probably go for it!

eekamoose Sat 29-Aug-09 19:18:52

Elsie is becoming very popular. Go on, go for your number two choice.

Have I missed this? - do you know for certain that you're having a girl?

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