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Is it bonkers to change DD's name?

(55 Posts)
JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 08:59:09

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WinkyWinkola Wed 12-Aug-09 09:02:09

Change the name if you're that unhappy with it. She's only six months. Do it if it will make you happy.

Ignore your mother. She has no say in this issue. She can call your DD what she likes - a pet name will probably emerge whatever you call her.

yama Wed 12-Aug-09 09:05:02

I don't see why you shouldn't change it.

People will get used to the new name soon enough. Your Mum should support you.

theyoungvisiter Wed 12-Aug-09 09:08:15

I am not an expert, but do you think it might cause confusion later in life, if she has a different name on her birth certificate to her legal name?

TBH I think I would be inclined to just use a pet name or her middle name instead, and not legally change her name unless you are absolutely 100% sure that you want to do it. But of course if you are 100% then go for it.

What does your DH think? You and he are the only ones that really get a say smile

teamcullen Wed 12-Aug-09 09:09:08

start calling her the new name for a few weeks before you get it changed, that way it gives everybody the chance to get used to it.

JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 09:13:34

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daisy78 Wed 12-Aug-09 09:20:59

If you are really unhappy with her name, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't change it. At 6 months, she still can't recognise her own name, so there will be no confusion for your daughter.

It might take other people a while to get used to it, but they will. I expect that they would forget that she was ever called anything different eventually!

You need to be sure though, and I think your partner would also need to on board. I am shocked that your mother is being so unsupportive. This is your baby and your choice.

I went through a similar thing with my first born by the way. I didn't change his name in the end, but I agonised over it for weeks. My family all loved the name we had chosen, but all said they would support me in whatever I chose to do.

JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 09:28:16

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daisy78 Wed 12-Aug-09 11:00:11

It might be more tricky if you already have other children. Though children have short memories

I really struggled with my son's name for a while, but I didn't have another name that I had my heart set on. My husband chose our son's name and I just didn't feel that it suited our son. I came round to it eventually.

Perhaps try the new name, as teamcullen suggested, but not when your other children are around to start with. If you still want to change her name, perhaps you could discuss it with your other children and somehow make it sound like their idea wink

littleducks Wed 12-Aug-09 11:04:13

I think its very easy to cahange the name up to a year.

If you going to change it now do it now as babies start to recognise name soon. She wont remember after a bit, think how many babies have nicknames (dd was munchkin at that age, but knows her name fine)

FlightHattendant Wed 12-Aug-09 11:06:03

Well...I had sort of said a name I was going to use while pregnant with ds2. When he was born he was that name, for a day or two - but everyone called him it - and then I decided I wanted to alter it slightly.

There was some resistance already!! Especially ds1, who insisted he was the first name - for about 2 weeks.

Eventually the new name stuck but it was a bit dodgy at first.

I'd say sound out your family and the other dcs and then try to compromise...maybe using her middle name as a nickname, etc, or choosing something a bit like what she ahs now.

I can see why similar names would be annoying. FAR easier to do it within a year of birth otherwise it all gets v complicated.

(tell us the names!! grin)

theyoungvisiter Wed 12-Aug-09 12:07:15

I hope you don't mind my saying this, but you don't sound very sure?

You've said in your posts that you like the name she has and are worried that you might regret changing.

I think you should make up your mind fully before carrying on.

Did you know you can add a name to a birth certificate within 12 months of the baby's birth? You could add the name you like as an additional middle name, rather than changing altogether, and give yourself the option of using either.

deckchair Wed 12-Aug-09 14:45:08

Give yourself a deadline of say 1 month to decide.
Then make your decision and stick to it.

Says me, who still not keen on ds name and wishes I had changed it when he was small.

I wish this is what I had done and DO NOT ask anyone in RL. If you decide to change it , tell them X is now called Y.

JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 19:32:14

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theyoungvisiter Wed 12-Aug-09 19:48:04

Isla is such a lovely name! I can see it sounds a bit similar to Arlo though - it's the two l sounds that confuse the ear.

I don't think it's that common...? At least I only know one Isla (spelled with a Y like the island) and I know two Indias.

Isla India Rose is pretty though - maybe the best of both worlds.

Grammaticus Wed 12-Aug-09 19:58:36

Isla is nice - but to refer to them both, as people commonly will, is a bit of a bugger, isn't it "islaandarlo"!?

JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 20:11:04

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LetThemEatCake Wed 12-Aug-09 20:49:18

we had a new friend over today called Isla, we also know an Arlo ... and 3yp dd kept calling the little girl Islo.

can totally see how it would be confusing.

India is a lovely name.

JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 20:50:13

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hellymelly Wed 12-Aug-09 20:54:54

Yes India Rose is really lovely,and as another poster mentioned under a year it is easy to change the name (I know this as we were still undecided on dd2 s name at the six week deadline and even as we put down one of the two choices I was still not totally convinced as like you,it is rather similar to my other daughter's name,and with the same initial.We have stuck with it though as it suits her and we often use a pet form which has a different initial.)

JustcallmeDog Wed 12-Aug-09 20:57:27

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theyoungvisiter Wed 12-Aug-09 21:55:11

some information about changing the name on a birth certificate here www.ukdps.co.uk/CanABirthCertificateBeChanged.html

If you change the name on the birth certificate then I think it shouldn't be necessary to do it by deed poll.

theyoungvisiter Wed 12-Aug-09 21:56:43

(essentially though I think you do it through your registry office)

Andanotherthing Wed 12-Aug-09 22:23:33

We are considering changing our DS's name - I had boy/girl twins and the names we chose originally didn't suit so we chose different names which still don't fit!!

Is going to feel a bit weird but we have only ever called DS by his middle name, never his registered name, and we want to give him a proper name that we both love!!

Concordia Thu 13-Aug-09 00:04:59

I went through this and changed DD's name at 3 months. As soon as I did it it felt a weight had lifted.
In the end we added in the new name (keeping existing name and middle name as two middle names) so she has a long and unwhiehdly name which is not ideal).
But I am so pleased i changed it as it would never have felt right.

It was very easy as i just went back to the registry office. paid a few pounds for new birth certs.

A few people took the p... but many more said, do you know, I really wish i had called by DD/ DS a different name, but i never did change it.

You can try out the new name although we never had much luck with this. in the end we just took the plunge and changed it altogether. Then told everyone (in case they disuaded us).

I would advise doing it soon as DD 10 months really does know her name now. Setting a date and seeing how you feel by that time might help. We did just that and it was very helpful to see if it was just momentary madness or something more long lasting.

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