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if you didn't use the name you really, really loved...

(53 Posts)
thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 19:49:11

how do you feel about it now?

we are struggling big time with naming ds3. we have a shortlist. he has been "named" about 3 times now, and then each time i've decided that it isn't "him"

the problem is I have a beloved name and dp HATES it. I can't use it, and I ought to stop thinking about it. but I can't and i'm finding it hard to choose one of the others which I do really, really like. but i don't love any of them,

so, if you had a similar situation, and couldn't use your favourite name, do you still regret it now?
how did you choose a different name?

lockets Thu 18-Jun-09 20:00:10

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thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 20:02:25

iknow, i keep thinking of you and dd3

what I am worried about though is that I am bigging Asa up simply because I know I can't have it iyswim?
I wonder if i would still want it so much if dp liked it too? does that make sense? maybe i just want what I can't have?
cos the other names are bloody fab too really

hana Thu 18-Jun-09 20:02:56

still love Mabel and didn't name any of my 3 girls that name!
dh really really wasn't keen. Didn't use it for middle name tho. I don't regret it, wistful about it maybe, but I genuinely love the names they DO have as well.

lockets Thu 18-Jun-09 20:07:34

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Bibithree Thu 18-Jun-09 20:11:35

I am glad we didn't call DD1 my most loved name as it wouldn't have suited her personality at all. I didn't use it on dd2 or dd3 as it was my name for dd1 iyswim.

When dd1 was small I thought I'd regret not choosing it terribly but if we had, we might have regretted it more, knowing it didn't suit her and I couldn't bear people to think she was "living up" to her namesake, which someone once said they would had I called her it hmm

Bibithree Thu 18-Jun-09 20:12:19

wasn't living up to ...

Wheelybug Thu 18-Jun-09 20:13:15

Neither me or DH have used our favourite names on the DDs because neither of us liked the other's. DD1's I really was 'meh' about until I was desperate to name her in a drug-filled daze minutes after she was born and have loved it since. DD2's was a real compromise name for both of us (She would have been Eliza if up to me, Sophie or Isla if up to DH) but they are both what they are and I love both names and have no regrets.

You both have to like a name to use it I think.

Hope you sort it out soon !

thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 20:32:05

it's all so hard when you're hormonal post-birth as well lol

Wheelybug Thu 18-Jun-09 20:40:02

We got DD1 to pick DD2's name from a shortlist because we couldn't decide. Worth a shot ?

thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 20:41:32

hehe tried that. he said they were all girls names and that he wants to call the baby Linus Toucan. or Spraying Mantis.

lockets Thu 18-Jun-09 20:42:32

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thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 20:43:20

lol, yes! he's such a joy to be around sometimes!

lockets Thu 18-Jun-09 20:44:14

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Wheelybug Thu 18-Jun-09 20:46:02

hmm... Now Toucan - there's a name grin

missmem Thu 18-Jun-09 20:50:04

I'm sure this won't happen to you but I have a friend who never got to pick her favourite name for DD. Eight years on she hates the name of her daughter (is very depressive about it) and given DD a complex about her name.

What I would suggest is putting the name you love as a middle name but introduce her as her middle name - prefectly common amongst posh folks.

What is the name, out of interest?

missmem Thu 18-Jun-09 20:50:48

I'm sure this won't happen to you but I have a friend who never got to pick her favourite name for DD. Eight years on she hates the name of her daughter (is very depressive about it) and given DD a complex about her name.

What I would suggest is putting the name you love as a middle name but introduce her as her middle name - prefectly common amongst posh folks.

What is the name, out of interest?

morethanyoubargainfor Thu 18-Jun-09 20:53:43

i wanted to name our Ds river, DH hated it so we came to an agreement, His name does suit him and i often wonder what if, although had a convo with ds 6 a few weeks ago that went like this,

ds-mummy who choose my name
me-mummy and daddy did why?
ds-just wondered
me-do you like your name?
ds-yes but if i wasn't called XXX i think you should have called me arthur! grin, maybe i will call myself that one day!
me-whatever makes you happy darling (whilst chuckling to self!)

I wonder if i would have had that same convo if i had called him River? If had of been a girl he would have been called Raine (dh hated that too and just said why didn't we just call them hail,snow wind etc, not very productive of him!)

thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 20:55:26

he said to me the other day "have you crossed my names off the list mummy?"
and he looked so sad when i admitted that I had.
poorbunny

thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 20:56:48

the name is Asa

belgo Thu 18-Jun-09 20:57:17

I didn't use my favourite names for any of my children because dh didn't agree.

But I adore all of their names now, I don't regret it at all.

snickersnack Thu 18-Jun-09 20:58:08

I don't think either of the names we gave our dcs would have been my first choice if it had been entirely up to me. I don't think they would have been dh's, either. We compromised in both cases. I'm absolutely fine with it, though - I think children grow into their names, and I can't imagine them being called Arthur and Imoge now.

belgo Thu 18-Jun-09 20:58:59

Yes Asa is a love it or hate it name.

You really cannot call your child a name that your dp hates. That would be very unfair. You have to compromise.

thisisyesterday Thu 18-Jun-09 21:10:13

i know i can't really.

it is making it so hard to pick between the others though.
hmmm

funnypeculiar Thu 18-Jun-09 21:16:32

dh & I disagreed on dd's name throughout the pg - she was 'my' name for 3 hours in hospital, and then dh felt so strongly, we changed it. He was right - her name suits her much better. In fact, I'm not even that keen on 'my' name now.

I have a 'spare' boys name I'm never going to get to use though sad

(Not helping, but I love Asa...)

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