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Using grandparents' names

(20 Posts)
thomasina1 Mon 08-Sep-08 11:17:20

My two grandmothers are both still living and we'd like to use one of their names as the middle name for our daughter. BUT I'm worried about offending the other one! Am I being crazy - has anyone else had this problem? Of course we may well use the other's name for a subsequent child, but she won't know that and may still feel "second-best". My grandmothers both live with my parents and do tend to be quite competetive at the best of times!

Any thoughts?

Megglevache Mon 08-Sep-08 11:19:29

You have to use both.

Could you combine them in some way. E.g. if one is called Maria and the other Anna Marieann etc?

Get them to choose a name for you together?

taliac Mon 08-Sep-08 11:19:40

Lordy, that says can'o'worms to me.

2 middle names?

Fimbo Mon 08-Sep-08 11:19:42

Wow hats off to your parents for having them both live with them!

Can't you use them both? My dd has my mum's name and dh's mum's maiden name as her middle names.

Ds also has 2

Megglevache Mon 08-Sep-08 11:20:07

Failing that, could you get them to do a triathlon and who ever wins that gets to choose?

RubyRioja Mon 08-Sep-08 11:24:38

Tricky, unless they are both called Gertrude and Agatha

Megglevache Mon 08-Sep-08 11:25:21

what are the names?

frazzledoldbag34 Mon 08-Sep-08 11:40:58

I did that with my DD1 - but used both great-grannies names as her middle names. Luckily they are both pretty names and DD1 loves having the 2 middle names and often asks questions about what they were like (now dead).

I think it's a lovely thing to do, but there is no doubt you couldn't use one but not the other if they are both alive and competitive grin. Either that or neither!!

GrimmaTheNome Mon 08-Sep-08 11:42:04

Get them to toss for it.
Or, if one of the names is definitely female and the other is androgynous (Hilary, Vivian etc) and could do whether putative child 2 was boy or girl, that would give a reason to use the feminine one first.

thomasina1 Mon 08-Sep-08 12:36:35

Oh dear, it does look like I can't do this! WHY has this only just occured to me?

A couple of other factors are that one of the names is much prettier than the other - Isabel - and is one I may actually have chosen anyway (but of course they won't think that!). Also, DH is due on her birthday so it seems to make more sense.

But I think you are all right, this is not a good idea and has the potential to cause huge family arguments. Don't really want both names so I think we'll have to go for neither which is a shame.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 08-Sep-08 12:41:51

Oh surely if your DD does arrive on Isabel's birthday that gives a good reason. Are the grannies really going to make a big argument about it?
Whats the other name?

3andnomore Mon 08-Sep-08 12:50:59

I was going to suggest both...my boys all have 3 firstnames...well, 1 first and 2 middlenames...you know what I mean...

What is the other grannies name? Could you fuse the nmaes maybe?

KAEKAE Thu 11-Sep-08 23:30:38

I have two middle names, my mother let both grannies choose a middle name for me!! [shocked] so I got Emma, which was after my maternal great grandmother, Emmie. My paternal grandmother chose Ann. And I must say I prefer them over my first name! I don't think there is anything wrong in having two middle names. Perhaps ask her to suggest some names, and get her involved that way?!?

Weegiemum Fri 12-Sep-08 10:02:25

Our dd2 is named after my dh's grandma and my Gran.

Her first name is Rachel - which was dh's Grandma's 1st name althought she was always known as Ruby (Robina), form her middle name. She died, sadly, just 2 weeks before dd2 was born.

Her middle name is Jessie. My Gran always hated her name - wanted to be Jessica, but her full name is Jessie (I think this is where my hmm about shortened names comes from ). SO because she didn't like her name (she was always Jess) she was delighted we used it a a middle name and even then said "I wish I had a better name to give that Bairn!" But she was secretly delighted.

I only found out later that Jessie is also used as a short version of Janet, which is my other Grandma's name (though she is too demented now to even know I have children, sadly).

My Gran died last year, and I am now delighted in every way that dd2 bears her name .. and in fact, it might seem sad, but it appears that dd2's earliest memory is visiting "GG" (Great Gran) the day before she died - she now talks a lot about "my GG in the pretty blue dress" (nurses were fab, she was wearing her fave blue nightie, with hair done and nails all red, when we went to visit, even though she was pretty much unconscious. They even had her dire favourite accordion music playing!).

If you can get round it somehow, using both names would, I think, be nice. I am glad that "Rachel Jessie" gives so much pleasure to the family who are still here.

Weegiemum Fri 12-Sep-08 10:04:51

Oh, and ds has dh's Grandad's name as a middle name.

At the time ds was born, he was the only Grandad we still had alive between the 2 of us, and also was the only one who had never had anyone named after him.

He's dead now, but he loved it. And as the name is Paul, it's not something that was hard to do, as we really like it.

wombleprincess Fri 12-Sep-08 10:06:31

just use which one you prefer, theyll get over it. if you use both then there will always be the "which one comes first" issue.

we are using one of DH's grandmother's names. other gh is a miserable old woman who insists on calling me "slightly foreign". and owns cats. and always treats her grand children from other daughter better than my DH and sister in law... so dont feel too bad...

winifred in case you wondering...

OrmIrian Fri 12-Sep-08 10:11:20

Well it was a bit easier for us as when DS#1 was born FIL had just died so it was obviously the right thing to do to use his name as DS's middle name. As it happens DS#2 came along 6 yrs later unexpectedly and was given my father's name. Dad was so pleased.

Boobz Fri 12-Sep-08 11:06:22

My brother wanted to call his son William James, which was our paternal Grandfather's name, and James is my brother's middle name (and my dad's middle name -- keeping up??). But then it looked like huge favouritism for my dad's side of the family, so they also added in my maternal's grandfather's name after William James. And it so looks like an after thought, because it is now William James Kenneth. Poor baby.

(no offence to any Kenneths out there).

RnB Fri 12-Sep-08 11:13:01

Message withdrawn

ingles2 Fri 12-Sep-08 11:25:02

we named DS1 after my grandfather who had just died...a really nice memory and my mum was thrilled. Luckily it's also a great name.
DS2 has the maiden name of his paternal grandmother as his middle name, so she's pleased too...
Why not suggest they come up with a name together? Will give them pleanty to talk (argue) about.
Be warned though, I let DSS give ds1 his middle name... it's interesting to say the least grin

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