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Inflicting a horrible surname on DCs

(27 Posts)
biscuitytrousers Tue 02-Sep-08 13:46:19

DH has a really grim surname. I've known him all my life so it was just a sound to me until it came to getting married and potentially taking his name. I haven't, partly because his is so bad and partly because mine is so good.... But what about our DCs? DD1 is registered with his name but with my surname as a middle name. I think we'll do the same with our next DC due in Feb. But I want them to be known by my surname and only by his on their passports and birth certificates. DH grudgingly agrees that it's not a nice name to saddle them with. I'd like to tell their nurseries / schools to call them by my surname. Can i do that?

Is it all just too confusing for the DCs do you think? What would you do?

cheesesarnie Tue 02-Sep-08 13:47:05

what could be so bad?bumdrop?

biscuitytrousers Tue 02-Sep-08 13:48:11

pretty much!

Tommy Tue 02-Sep-08 13:48:39

yes you can

fortyplus Tue 02-Sep-08 13:49:50

My best friend was a Badcock and she got to secondary school before the jokes started.

crokky Tue 02-Sep-08 13:51:34

Change name of every family member by deed poll. Either all have your surname or another surname picked from either of your family histories.

When I was born, my mum had taken my dad's name and all kids had this surname. It was awful, siblings bullied terribly with it, just totally embarassing every time it was said. We all had name changed by deed poll to father's mother's maiden name (as it was plain).

JuneBugJen Tue 02-Sep-08 13:52:53

Please dont give them an awful surname. Its just so unfair. You can certainly tell the nurserys that. Even if your DH has grudgingly agreed on this grab it with both hands.
After all, do you want your dd to be begging to get married at 16 to lose the name! Is it a really bad one like Lilycrap, or Arce (as I have known one!) or Booby (again, wonder why they perpetuated that one!0...

BroccoliSpears Tue 02-Sep-08 13:53:09

What's the name?

biscuitytrousers Tue 02-Sep-08 13:59:35

Thanks for your messages - won't put it on here but it's effectively 'stinks'. don't think it was so bad for him growing up with it although he's definitely had his share of sniggers / open ribbing. but different for a little girl i think. put with a name in front of it, it sounds like a verb, e.g. 'Jane Stinks'. i phoned up NHS direct when DD had a stomach upset and was doing burps that smelt of sulphur and when I told the lady her name she chortled down the phone. Not nice. Not as bad as booby or badcock though admittedly!

DH won't change his name - male pride thing. also he's the last in the line. I think let the name die but can see why he'd feel emasculated by this / like he was letting his father down. his mother took the name but delightedly lost it again post-divorce and DH's bro died.

glad to hear it's ok to tell schools etc to use my name - thanks!

CNFT Tue 02-Sep-08 14:02:04

Mine isn't as bad as Badcock, but I get many comments on it, mostly telling me what a great name it is. Yeah right mister, don't lie.

FlirtyThirty Thu 25-Sep-08 12:13:04

I have known a Winterbottom, Arse and Boocock. Thank god not in my family or hubby's. I would use your surname and tell all relevant authorities! Save your children (and yourself) the embarrasment - life can be hard enough!

EffiePerine Thu 25-Sep-08 12:20:55

if it's the name I think it is, it's a very old and distinguished English name (and isn;t the pronuniciation different from teh spelling?). But I can see your point re: embarassment factor...

EffiePerine Thu 25-Sep-08 12:21:32

oh nad I knew a Shufflebotham, quite a few -bottom/botham names in Yorks area

Ozziegirly Fri 26-Sep-08 07:38:09

I had an awful surname as well but although I was teased about it, I did learn to stand up for myself, and to be honest, children will always find something to pick on, and eventually I learned to just reply "so, you're making fun of my surname, something I was born with and have no control over? Wow, how original" and that shut them up.

But when I got married and took on my husband's lovely bland normal, one of the most popular surnames in the UK, I could not have been more thrilled.

PoppyFox Fri 26-Sep-08 16:13:06

my friend was 'liz'Niblock. she was called Liz Noblick in school.

Is it as bad as that?

PoppyFox Fri 26-Sep-08 16:14:02

is it Reeks? Wreeks?

pramspotter Fri 26-Sep-08 21:03:25

I knew a girl in high school who had 4 kids by 3 fathers before she was 18. Her surname was Rautenbush.

Gyne doctor that dealt with the elderly patients at a nursing home I worked in was really called Dr.Graybush.

I would get the kids' names changed before it is too late.

Weegiemum Sat 27-Sep-08 16:50:43

I had a bog-standard Scottish surname and changed it when I got married to dh's slightly rude sounding German surname (his Dad is German, dh doesn't even speak a word of it).

I've hardly ever had much of a comment on it - though some of the mis-spellings we get are utterly hilarious. And I taught for 5 years in a secondary school and just was upfront about it 'yes, I know it's stupid, laugh now and get over yourselves' and never had much bother.

Dh says he went through an all-boys grammar school with it and at least you knew what teasing you were going to get - he was never teased about his hair or nose or zits or whatever (clearly because he is utterly gorgeous and there is nothing to tease about wink )

We like it - its unusual, (we are the only family in Scotland with the name - only others in the UK are FIL, BIL, BIL and his family) and even in Germany it is unusual - there are only about 30 worldwide!! So we like it for that reason.

Kids have never had any trouble with it - thats just the name they have. Maybe cos its more breast than bum related, and of course in primary school bums are much funnier!

biscuitytrousers Sat 27-Sep-08 17:02:41

poppyfox - your first guess is the right one! blown my cover... I know it's really not the be all and end all but I can't bear to inflict it on my gorgeous DD. have taken quite a big step since the op and ordered her nursery name labels with my surname!

Majeika Sat 27-Sep-08 17:17:25

I have a terrible Italian surname. sad

And DH's aunt's surname is Ferrari!

How Majeika wishes she was Mrs Ferrari!! grin

KnickersOnMaHead Sat 27-Sep-08 18:50:07

Message withdrawn

biscuitytrousers Sat 27-Sep-08 20:23:16

What if your DH's surname was Bucketfanny? Would you take it? Give it to your DD?!

And, not saying this is the case for me, but what if DH's family history isn't anything to particularly celebrate or be proud of?

noonki Sat 27-Sep-08 20:33:03

bucketfanny PMSL

Knickersonhead - they would still have a family history, just the mothers,

I would change name, we had a cock and a coch at school, they got bullied horrendously

KnickersOnMaHead Sat 27-Sep-08 21:08:32

Message withdrawn

pollykettlechips Sat 27-Sep-08 22:07:23

A name is a name - it might have a long history but who cares - do you want your kids to be known as DS Sowerbutts (a real name). I knew of a Dr Flowerdew which i thought was a lovely name, but Sowerbutts has to be the worst in name i've heard in the UK. No reason to give a child a dreadful first name, so why lumber them with a surname that you really don't like.

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