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our fave name has been swiped!!

(44 Posts)
claudib Sun 03-Aug-08 23:12:59

i'm due in 9 weeks and a friend of ours who's just given birth has announced they are calling their child our planned name! (-they didn't know it)
they are very close friends but don't live nearby and we see them only 4 times a year on average. we've not said anything to them but would you still use this name? what is the right thing to do..?

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 03-Aug-08 23:14:16

Use the name that you have chosen.

What is it ?


thisisyesterday Sun 03-Aug-08 23:16:11

have you spoken to them yet?
if not then when you do you can say "wow, great name choice, that's what we're planning on calling db"

obviusly if you've already spoken to them then it's too late to do that.

I would still go ahead and use the name tbh. but if you feel like they'll think you're copying them then say something to them.

Olihan Sun 03-Aug-08 23:19:20

Agree with BALD (that acronym always makes me snigger whenever I see it, sorry!) and tiy, use it anyway. It's not like the dcs will grow up in each others' pockets.

pointydog Sun 03-Aug-08 23:23:03

I'd pick another. It would just be the preferable option all round.

Flibbertyjibbet Sun 03-Aug-08 23:31:05

Well, if they didn't know the name you were thinking of, its not their fault is it?
Pick another name.
But I would say something along the lines of 'yes I DO like the name, we had thought of using it for our baby'. If you do use the same name the other mother will be starting a thread AIBU to be pissed off that my friend called her baby the same name as mine'

CaptFabioHiltsCatInTheCooler Sun 03-Aug-08 23:32:07

I would mention it to them asap that that was your favourite name too.

hatwoman Sun 03-Aug-08 23:40:22

tbh if this was me it would put me off the name anyway. I think we all hope to have a name that's not replicated too much and I just wouldn't like to use a name the same as friends' dcs. If my friends got to a name first, (whether by 4 years or 9 weeks - it doesn;t really make a difference) I'd just have to shrug my shoulders, and pick another name. This is one reason why I never, in my own mind, decided 100 percent on names until dds were born

ja9 Sun 03-Aug-08 23:46:29

oooh deja vu

huge sympathies sad

fwiw we used same name. it's embarrassing once a year when we all holiday together, but rest of time it's grand!

ja9 Sun 03-Aug-08 23:50:10

claudib do you know what you are having?

do you know i just re-read the thread i linked to and it made me emotional about the situation all over again blush. no regrets tho'.

claudib Mon 04-Aug-08 12:35:38

hey all thanks for your responses.
i don't even know what i'm having yet so it's not a major deal but i find picking girl's names is so much easier than boys and i had that one fixed in my mind.

it Esme that i'd picked -i just literally asked what mumsnetters thoughts were before i found that my friends had gone for it! i like Misty for a girl also even though i know it sounds like a cat's name! Esme is a classic name yet also sounds so ethereal which i liked. oh well. . i'll have a ponder..

frazzledoldbag34 Mon 04-Aug-08 13:09:30

Maybe you'll have a boy and won't have to worry......

Oh but I feel SO sorry for you. What a shame, I'd be really upset too, but to be honest I reckon you should just explain to your friend what has happened and tell her how gutted you are that you had inadvertently both set your hearts on the same name. What is the chance of that? etc

If she's a good friend (and especially as you don't live in the same area and see each other infrequently) she'll probably look at it from your viewpoint and think it could easily have been the other way round if your baby had been born first. Then she'd have been the one feeling awkward and disappointed.
So my guess is she'll say go ahead and use it anyway (I know I would and totally wouldn't mind). It's not like you've just heard Esme for the first time and thought 'I'll have it too' is it?? not like you've stolen 'her' name.
Or you might find that in a few weeks you go off the name if it reminds you of her baby and you'll come up with something even nicer for your little one.

Anyway good luck with your baby (boy or girl!) Hope all goes well grin
By the way, Misty isn't really in the same league as Esme IMO.

belgo Mon 04-Aug-08 13:11:40

If you really like Esme, stick with it, especially as you don't see them that often. But do explain to them that you had previously decided upon the name and you are not siping their child's name.

belgo Mon 04-Aug-08 13:12:00

swiping not siping!

Carnival Mon 04-Aug-08 13:16:18

belgo, I read that as "swiper, no swiping" - too much Dora at this end, lol

JuneBugJen Mon 04-Aug-08 13:18:04

do esme anyway. Its lovely

JuneBugJen Mon 04-Aug-08 13:19:45

When we were growing up, our mums were best friends in same town and out of the 5 kids between them we only had 3 different names! we all grew up best friends, it was no prob.

GrapefruitMoon Mon 04-Aug-08 13:21:26

When I was pregnant with ds1 I found out that a friend had called her baby the name we had chosen. I did wonder if we should go ahead with it - but in our case my friend had already moved abroad at that stage and we figured we would not see her too often - as it turns out we have totally lost touch so I'm really glad we stuck with our original choice!

frazzledoldbag34 Mon 04-Aug-08 13:46:17

Good point Grapefruit. Shame to miss out when they are friends not family and might not always be in your life.

frazzledoldbag34 Mon 04-Aug-08 13:47:11

Although I'm not suggesting you kill them off or anything so you can have exclusivity on their name!!!!!
Just to clarify.

thumbwitch Mon 04-Aug-08 13:51:27

if you want to change it, how about Effie? or Evie?

bikerunski Mon 04-Aug-08 14:07:37

My sister and a v good friend of hers both have sons the same age with the same name. But they live in different countries (although grew up together and my sister went aborad at 18) and only see each other about twice a year. They think it's funny that they both picked the same name - and see it as a badge of how much they have in common - and for the few hours they spend togetehr a yearm, can deal with calling thes DS's MC and MR. The DSes think it is great having a freidn who has the same name.

branflake81 Wed 06-Aug-08 15:04:40

So? Don't see the problem tbh. Call your kid what you want. Sorry to be harsh but there is no rule that states your child must be the only one with that name in the world.

ScottishMummy Wed 06-Aug-08 15:10:59

congratulations on your pg.hey no one has exclusivity or 1st dibs on a name.wouldn't mention it will look petty, and anyways they wouldn't change would they

NervousMouse Wed 06-Aug-08 15:37:10

Both me and my cousin are called Rachael (well, she's called Rachel), she's about 4 months older than me but Mom had already set her heart on Rachael and so she went with it.

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