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Is it a MN SIN not to give your childa middle name.

(31 Posts)
Oblomov Wed 30-Jul-08 14:06:20

Ds1 doesn't have one.
I do, but dh doesn't.
Expecting ds2.
And ds1 did ask me why he didn't have one the other day.
I just said some people do, some don't. I do, daddy doesn't.
I couldn't give one to ds2 now. How would I explain that to ds1?

rosealbie Wed 30-Jul-08 14:08:19

I don't really see the point of them tbh.

Both my dc do have them but I don't. One of ds's middle names is my maiden name.

Dh on the other hand has 3 and this was a great source of amusement to friends at our wedding!

clairebear88 Wed 30-Jul-08 14:13:58

Hi

I like middle names as traditionally a family name or something that means something to you can be used. Nothing wrong though if you dont want to give one, every one to their own

GooseyLoosey Wed 30-Jul-08 14:16:46

My dcs to have middle names but they are both traditional family names and are done to provide a link with their past. Other than that, not entirely sure I understand the point of them either. I have one and on no occassion ever has it been of any use to me (execept it gives me better initials for IT purposes at work)

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle Wed 30-Jul-08 14:18:52

I don't see the need for them really, although having said that I am known by my middle name which is thankfully far more normal than my first name! So I suppose it's good to have one as a back up in case child hates their given name in the future?

AnnieAreYouOkAreYouOkAnnie Wed 30-Jul-08 14:20:15

DS doesn't have one, we just couldn't think of one! It was hard enough to settle on his first name.
DD has one, named for Dh's Grandmother.
I have one (don't like or use it though) and DH doesn't.

There's no need really, unless you want to name him after someone but don't want to name him that, iykwim.

Perhaps DS1 could choose a middle name for him? Then if you ever have another, they could both choose two middle names for DC3 etc etc grin

Oblomov Wed 30-Jul-08 14:36:28

Maybe its not as bad as I thought then.
i thought it might have been in the Etiquette list, of the other day.

littledudesmummy Wed 30-Jul-08 15:03:23

I have never seen the point in them if you have to struggle to come up with one (or more). Never understood the posts asking for suggestions for a name that goes with the first they have chosen. Myself nor my siblings have one and have never felt deprived. BUT when DS was born, after a couple of days, I said to DH that I thought it would be nice to give him DH's dad's name as a middle name as he died when DH was only 6. He said he had been thinkng the very same thing. We had never previously discussed it, it just seemed the right thing to do there and then. I now absolutely love it as equally as his first name but would never have used it as a first as it is a bit feminine, in a French way, and may not stand up to playground taunts.

notcitrus Wed 30-Jul-08 15:17:03

Only if the kid is called John Smith or something equally likely to have 1000s of others in the country - a friend of mine is called that (no middle names) and has no end of trouble proving his identity to banks, not to mention pizza deliverers thinking he's taking the mick when he calls...

Friends have a baby with no middle names, but both first and last names are pretty uncommon, so I think that's OK.

I've got two middle names (one put in because my parents thought my granny would like it. She didn't.), which I like because it gives me a good set of initials which don't get confused with anyone else. Squirmy is going to get my surname as a second middle name - still debating the first middle name.

sweetkitty Wed 30-Jul-08 15:21:19

I don't have a middle name but have a double barrelled first name.

DD1 has a middle name thats was my Grans
DD2 because we liked the name and it wouldnt' have suited as just a first name
DD3 has 2 middle names as DP and I couldn't agree so she got both.

It's like everything else do what YOU want, your baby you get to chose the name thats the fun part

(oh I answered your thread about a sling I have one if you want it)

Oblomov Wed 30-Jul-08 15:23:23

Citrus, that is the problem.
Ds's name is no 1 boys name for the last 7 yrs.
When we found out that I was pg, dh said ,would you mind if we called him after my dad. Who died before I met dh. I liked the name, and said, of course. Thought the idea was lovely. Was not a MN'er then. So never even looked at baby name books or anything.
After ds born, joined Mn. Realised it was most popular name. Was horrified.
Felt stupid. but saying that, have only met one other so far. There are 2 others in ds's reception class, when he starts in Sept. 3 out of 60.

Possible choice for ds2 name is in top 30. Have met a few . Not too many.
Does this all change things ?

Doozie Wed 30-Jul-08 17:11:34

I was Robbed of a middle name! It has scarred me for life! grin

You always want what you don't have! But then none of my siblings had them either. Our Mother would say your names were perfect as they are - so usual parent fob off.

I would strongly suggest - be consistant. If you didn't give a MN to your DS#1 don't be giving one to DS#2.

I meanwhile will be giving my DC about seven MNs! wink

MrsTittleMouse Wed 30-Jul-08 17:16:35

I would do the same for both DSs, so that you treat them both the same. I've never really used or needed my middle name, and the only reasons that we gave DD1 a middle were to use a family name and to give her the another option when she's older. I can only think of a handful of people who use their middle name though.

Eleta Wed 30-Jul-08 17:16:49

No. Because if there is more than one child with same name, they tend to get called by first and surname like Jack Smith and Jack Brown. My dd1 doesn't have middle name neither does my dh or myself but dd2 does. Dc3 will have one as well. Not much point really, I don't think but I would have liked to have had one for when I said my marriage vows as I think it sounds nicer than saying just one name (providing you have a nice middle name of course!)

ShePeeTeePee Wed 30-Jul-08 17:27:42

My DC don't have middle names. At the time this seemed easy like a good idea. Now I sometimes feel a bit bad about it - but chocolate helps cheer me up.

StellaWasADiver Wed 30-Jul-08 17:33:40

We gave DS two because we couldn't agree and I wish we didn't give him one at all, in a way. They are pointless. It was just a way to get our 2nd/3rd favourite names in there - and what is the point in that?

I have one and never ever ever use it. I don't hate it as such but it is so not me and completely superfluous.

And of course should there ever be a DC2 we have to find 3 bloody names again.

Also they are very different and don't really go together - 6 weeks is too early for the registration deadline IMHO, I was so so hormonal. With time to think I'd either not bother or at least insist on ONE that we agree on.

Tigerschick Wed 30-Jul-08 17:43:33

We couldn't decide on a middle name for DD and she has a reasonably unusual first name.
There are family names on both mine and DH's sides but they are boys names and we didn't want to 'feminise' them incase we ever have a boy ...
DH's Nanny was really cross with us as she was given a very odd first name and no middle name; she hates her first name so 'had' to pick one from the air to use. She is worried that DD might not like her name and then won't have a second one to 'fall back on'.

I say just go with what you want to do. I wouldn't have a problem with one child having a middle name and another not - if we have a ds that is what will happen here - as long as you are honest with the children when/if they ask.

edam Wed 30-Jul-08 17:56:57

I never use mine but it's nice to know it is there. Doesn't bother me how many names other people have although if pushed for an opinion, I might think 'were the parents really fed up of arguments over names, or just lacking in inspiration' if a child didn't have one. To distinguish you from all the other firstname surnames (someone mentioned John Smith - one poor guy of that name was killed because the hospital got his drugs mixed up with another one). And in case the person ever takes against their first name.

Imagine, for instance, being a lovely person from India, called Dikshit. Which is a perfectly good Hindu name, I gather. However, if you move to the UK, it would be really, really handy if you had a middle name you could use as an alternative... presumably there are some European names that would sound equally ridiculous in other cultures.

Ds has three Christian names. Because dh felt very strongly he should be named after both his grandfathers (dh's dad died not long before ds was conceived) but we didn't like either name enough for a first name.

AbbeyA Thu 31-Jul-08 07:36:49

I haven't got one but wish that I had, it would have been Louise but my parents decided that as my other 2 names were long it was better to do without another one!
DS hasn't got one because we couldn't agree at the time, but DS2 and 3 have got middle names.

littlelapin Thu 31-Jul-08 07:40:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov Thu 31-Jul-08 09:05:27

My middle name is Louise too.
Abouts as much use as a gnatts....
With hindsight, I wish we had given ds a midlle name.
I can't give one to ds2 though. Ds1 already seems a bit miffed that he doesn't have one. And if we then went on to give one to ds2, that wouldn't be fair to ds1.
Thanks for confirming that for me.

littlelapin Thu 31-Jul-08 09:44:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nailpolish Thu 31-Jul-08 09:47:13

i dotn see the point of them at all

i have one and ive never used it

and i hate the way some people ask on mn for 'middle names to go with...'

if thats what you want pick a name like Sarah-Jane or Millie-Mae

otherwise you are not going to go about sayng the childs full name are you?

imagine in years to come explaining to your child her middle name was chosen by some strangers on an internet forum hmm

anyway thats my opinion

EffiePerine Thu 31-Jul-08 09:49:17

I don't have one but my sister does. Would have been more of a source of contention if hers hadn't been Tracy grin

having said that I did want a middle name when I was younger, esp as my name is 1 syllable and not obvious variations or nicknames, so I couldn't change my identity in the way teenage girls love to do... maybe less of an issue for a boy

Oblomov Thu 31-Jul-08 10:41:45

Littlelapin, I can't just give him one. Imagine if he kept insisting, no my middle name is .... and then it wasn't on his birth certificate. He would look a right pratt.

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