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Would you use a name you know your friend LOVES and has been 'saving' ....

(59 Posts)
DisenchantedPlusBump Mon 28-Jul-08 19:16:29

for when she has a girl?

When I say friend, the last time I saw her was about a month ago and before that Christmas. We do talk occasionally and I do class her as a friend, but not the 'see everyday or two and do loads of stuff together' sort.

Plus She has 3 boys, I have 2 boys (she is desperate for a girl) and I'm having a girl first.

??

DisenchantedPlusBump Mon 28-Jul-08 19:17:30

She has told me on several occasions her DD will have this name but Im just stuck and like this blush

DorrisMcWhirter Mon 28-Jul-08 19:18:30

No, sorry. Not worth the hassle IMO. Hope you find another name you like.

differentID Mon 28-Jul-08 19:18:31

It's not Lydia is it?

Idobelieveinfairies Mon 28-Jul-08 19:18:37

tell us the name and we can try and put you off it wink

vitomum Mon 28-Jul-08 19:19:14

is she pregnant? does she know its a girl?

Rachmumoftwo Mon 28-Jul-08 19:19:34

Ask her. She may never have a girl, or not mind sharing. I know she doesn't own the name as such, but it isn't very nice to use the name without considering the feelings of your friend.

What is the name, btw?

constancereader Mon 28-Jul-08 19:19:46

I probably wouldn't.
If you had said you wanted it too the first time she brought it up that might make it easier.

That said, you do have the right to do this if you want to.

overthemill Mon 28-Jul-08 19:20:22

probbaly not, always thought rachel was off to do so

Idobelieveinfairies Mon 28-Jul-08 19:20:44

she may never have girl.......does she mention this everytime you speak?

...can you mention dh adores this name and he is insisting your DD is called it?!??!

i always blame things on DP grin

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 28-Jul-08 19:22:00

lol at overthemill

choccypig Mon 28-Jul-08 19:22:43

I'd advise not doing it. A friend of mine's SIL "stole" her at-the-time-unborn DD name, and they've barely spoken since. Friend is quite sensible normally, but will never forgive SIL.
Anyway, said name will probably become deeply popular (aka "common") so you'll have the last laugh if you choos something else.

beanieb Mon 28-Jul-08 19:23:21

Not unless it was a name I always wanted, I think it would be mean of you to use a name that you only started liking because she mentioned it.

mrswoolf Mon 28-Jul-08 19:23:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

overthemill Mon 28-Jul-08 19:25:03

BALD (ooh hope you're not!) - i know it isnt real but was shocked! my ex bf did it to me (Not the reason). many years before i had my own and wouldnt have chosen it by then!!!

igod Mon 28-Jul-08 19:25:57

Yes I would, but we move about a fair bit and chances are these would be friends we might see a couple of times a year, so no big deal.

Sounds a bit like your friend, so I don't see the problem

DisenchantedPlusBump Mon 28-Jul-08 19:26:12

No not Lydia,

Its Poppy.

Shes not pregnant no, but she was

She is travelling abroad next year to concieve a girl through IVF.

Thought it was off, I just thought as we never really see each other we could both have Poppy's.

juneybean Mon 28-Jul-08 19:27:05

I personally wouldn't

frazzledoldbag34 Mon 28-Jul-08 19:28:11

This is such a tough one isn't it because she may never have a baby girl (or is she pregnant with a girl too?)

If you use the name and beat her to it she'll probably never speak to you again.
Not sure if this is a bad thing as she doesn't sound like a great friends or whether you think it's worth it to get the name you want.
Also you risk other (mutual) friends taking her side and thinking you've been mean for 'stealing' 'her' name.

Be prepared for her to be really upset with you - have seen this happen before.

One of my sisters did this to my other sister and it's still talked about in our family. Caused a big stir at the time.

Suppose it just depends on how much you want to use the name......and how much you think the friend will mind.
Can't you think of something EVEN NICER that you'll love more. And then maybe she'll want to steal that for her next one? envy

Can you tell us what the name is? (Sorry I'm just nosy..)

MrsFearnleyWhittingstall Mon 28-Jul-08 19:28:33

Ohh my baby is Poppy but I remember my friend seething when an a friend called her ds the name she had chosen .But it's up to you

MrsSprat Mon 28-Jul-08 19:30:12

Poppy is really not good enough to lose a friend over.

Mind you, if you don't want people stealing names of your as-yet fictional children, you shouldn't spill either.

ruty Mon 28-Jul-08 19:30:31

no i wouldn't. My favourite girl's name was the name of little girl of a friend of mine, and i just knew she wouldn't be flattered, if you know what i mean, if we used it too. And this is even worse, as she is desperate for a girl, you're having one, and then you want to use the name she's put aside. Sorry.

hw2004 Mon 28-Jul-08 19:32:54

Hmmmm, i think i'd be upfront with her and tell her you are considering this as think it is a pretty name. I'd also do what another poster suggests and blame your dh/dp. Say he loves it and wants to call your daughter it. See how she reacts??

Crunchie Mon 28-Jul-08 19:37:42

Hmm well I disagree about Poppy not being good enough, since I have one

However have you thought of Daisy? Rosie, Lily, Camelia (milly)

I have A poppy and a daisy and if I had a 3rd I would err towards Camelia or Bluebell (only my brother has a bella)

Crunchie Mon 28-Jul-08 19:38:40

Oh and if anyone had 'taken' my names Poppy or Daisy, I wuld have twatted them

DH and I chose them before we even got married!!

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