Would you be offended by name choice?

(49 Posts)
amarchbaby Tue 23-Nov-21 19:48:38

Our baby girl is due in February (potentially a Valentine's baby!)

We want to call her Delilah

Our top middle name choice is Louise. My mother in laws name is Louise and it's also my middle name. We chose it based on the fact it's in the family but we also liked how it sounds (I know it seems heavy on the L's but I think it's fine)

However do you think my mother should be offended? Personally I don't since Delilah Louise does sound nicer than Delilah Aine, and we don't want to give her two middle names.

Thoughts? Should we consider other options or is it okay?

OP’s posts: |
Glassofshloer Tue 23-Nov-21 19:51:18

She should be fine. I would just say I chose it as it’s the middle name you gave me smile

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule Tue 23-Nov-21 19:54:14

Well I think she’d be entitled to feel a little bit hurt (maybe even a lot)...

I’ve got two middle names and love it so I’m clearly biased, but I’d give her your mum’s name too (unless you’re not that close/you didn’t or don’t have a happy childhood and relationship with her/you’re not actually bothered about upsetting her).

Holly60 Tue 23-Nov-21 19:55:07


She should be fine. I would just say I chose it as it’s the middle name you gave me smile

Came on to say exactly that. You are giving her the name she gave her little baby girl: I think it’s a nice thing to do.

S1987uk Tue 23-Nov-21 19:56:15

I think she should be fine, as @Glassofshloer says above - just emphasise that it's based off your middle name (which she chose) smile

Holly60 Tue 23-Nov-21 19:56:26

Also - can’t you just ask her? My DD would have done: ‘mum you don’t mind if…(insert any random thing I best not mind about) 😂😂😂

IncompleteSenten Tue 23-Nov-21 19:59:05

You are giving your daughter your middle name. The fact your mil happens to share it is irrelevant. You aren't naming the child after her. You are passing on your middle name.
I don't think your mum could argue against that.


Aristodog Tue 23-Nov-21 19:59:06


She should be fine. I would just say I chose it as it’s the middle name you gave me smile


If it was just your MIL’s name, I could understand her being offended but there’s a connection on both sides of the family.

Have a similar situation with my own name, actually.

MrsFoxyplease Tue 23-Nov-21 20:06:38

Just don't mention mil when you tell her your name choice as this will make it look like you really have named DD in her honor no matter how you protest. Don't try to justify it or anything.iyswim.
When she mentions Mil (she very likely will) don't go on the defensive. Just play it down and say "Oh, yeah but I'm using Louise as it's my middle name- that's all."

MrsFoxyplease Tue 23-Nov-21 20:07:28

In answer to your question- Yes, I'd be offended tbh.

TurnUpTurnip Tue 23-Nov-21 20:36:44

I don’t see why you can’t use both, no one uses middle names really so it wouldn’t matter to have two, I can see why she would be offended. I think my own mother would be.

Elisemum Tue 23-Nov-21 20:54:31

But you aren’t naming her after MIL? You are naming her becouse it’s your own middle name right? The fact that your MIL has it is irrelevant. Not even worth mentioning. No you mum will not be offended

Hope478 Tue 23-Nov-21 20:54:45

Louise is such a common middle name. I know an excessive amount of people my age and younger with it as their middle name.

I dont think your mum can complain about it, as she gave the name to you!

Personally, I wouldn't use it as it sounds very L heavy with the first name, but that's just personal preference.

ljcudd Tue 23-Nov-21 21:01:41

I had a similar issue when it came to naming our daughter. My mum passed when I was 18, so always wanted her name to be passed to my child. Her first name was Lesley, which my mum actually hated! Her middle name was Ann. However the women on my partners side of the family are all first names double barrelled with Anne e.g Lilly-Anne. I was worried she'd be offended we'd chosen Ann but in the end she was really happy we'd done a nod to their tradition as well as something special in memory of my mum and our daughter became Amelia Ann (ann as a middle name rather than double barrelled). In fact, we ended up picking her first name around what worked with Ann!

BendingSpoons Tue 23-Nov-21 21:05:51

My mum wouldn't even know MIL's middle name. I would just say she is named after you.

WyncyG Tue 23-Nov-21 21:21:16

To be honest this is why I don't like (for me) the idea of using any family names. I don't think my mum would day anything but I do think he would be hurt for the rest of time. There are SO many great names out there, too.
Love Delilah anyway smile

WeasilyPleased Tue 23-Nov-21 22:49:57

If you popped the Aine before Louise it would break up the Ls. Delilah Aine Louise sounds good.

RightOnTheEdge Tue 23-Nov-21 22:53:42

WeasilyPleased that's a good suggestion it does go really well!

Fivebeanchilli Tue 23-Nov-21 22:56:58

I can't imagine getting upset or offended by that at all.

2020HelenJ Tue 23-Nov-21 22:57:09

I second what Glassofshloer, Elisemum and BendingSpoons have said. Just say that the reason is that it was the name she chose for you as a middle name - but also that you like the sound of how it flows with your chosen first name. I really don't think your mum will be offended.

Shasha17 Wed 24-Nov-21 04:07:27

I'd personally be hurt and also wouldn't do this to my mum. Use both or neither, in my opinion

Shasha17 Wed 24-Nov-21 04:08:15


If you popped the Aine before Louise it would break up the Ls. Delilah Aine Louise sounds good.

Like a PP said, it actually sounds much better with both names anyway

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall Wed 24-Nov-21 04:25:12

I have grandchildren and wouldn't be offended by this. Actually my grandson has his grandads middle name (from sons dad's side) and no one was offended he doesn't have my dad's or his mums dad's name

Jacaranda75 Wed 24-Nov-21 04:45:03

Delilah Aine Louise is fab smile.

Rosiiiiie Wed 24-Nov-21 04:54:46

My mum would be hurt 100%
I personally would too a bit but would try to hide it.

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