DH and the unpronounceable baby names

(185 Posts)
Olinguita Thu 06-May-21 19:07:37

DH (Indian) and I (white British) have our first baby on the way in September. I suggested that we give the baby an Indian name to reflect their culture. We don't know if we're having a boy or a girl. We have a girl's name shortlist sorted, but boy is proving tricky.

The problem is, the only names that DH has come up with are things that are tricky to say (Atharv, Satyameva), or that sound a bit odd to the British ear - stuff like Shlok, Parth, Sachet, which I worry that a kid could get teased about, or which would be constantly misunderstood/mis-spelt in adulthood. I don't want to be insensitive to his culture or narrow minded BUT I also don't want to give the child a name that is going to cause challenges in daily life as they grow up. The problem is that my normally easy-going DH is getting REALLY defensive about it and is refusing to budge (maybe late pandemic/Dad-to-be jitters, who knows....!)

He has vetoed all of my suggestions of 2-syllable Indian boys' names on the grounds that they are too common, or there are acquaintances of ours that already have those names, or he just doesn't like them.
To give you an example of where I was going, my list included:
Roshan
Pranav
Ishaan
Rohan
Ivaan
Vivek
Niren
Nayan
Varoun

I'm pretty familiar with Indian culture and speak Hindi, and from what I've observed, most of my Indian and British/Indian friends have tended to favour more contemporary, easy-to-pronounce baby names similar to those on my list. So I don't think I'm wildly off-base but I could be wrong.

My questions for you:

1) Has anyone hit an absolute roadblock with their partner about baby names, and how did you deal?
2) Any cool Indian boy name suggestions? (If you hadn't clocked from the names suggested already, DH is Hindu)

On top of all this, my very traditional British family are piling on the pressure to give the child a "proper" English name like William or George and won't drop the issue. The joys of baby-naming....

OP’s posts: |
Hoppinggreen Thu 06-May-21 19:10:28

Well for a start your family dont get a vote
I think the name should reflect both of you and your your cultures. There must be names that work in English and Hindi

celtiethree Thu 06-May-21 19:15:01

I never really hit a road block but was fairly stubborn on the names I liked. I agree with you that it might be best to avoid the difficult to pronounce, Shlok snd Sachet could be quite hard to carry off for a child living in the U.K.

An Indian name that I really like:

Kiran

I think it means ‘Ray of light’ so a great name!!!

Insertfunnyname Thu 06-May-21 19:16:47

How will the baby name also reflect your culture tho? Do you have a British surname that the baby will use? Or is the baby also having an Indian surname. In which case I don’t understand why it’s all about your husbands heritage and not yours.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep Thu 06-May-21 19:20:25

He's being a dick
I agreed my DS would have a name from XH's culture but the non negotiables were that it was pronounced phonetically and didn't sound silly to English ears. It's not culturally insensitive to say that some names sound odd in other languages! One name my XH suggested was anas which was rejected for sounding like anus for example

PixellatedPixie Thu 06-May-21 19:21:20

From your list I’ve always loved the name Rohan! It doesn’t sound too different to traditional English names like Rowan and it’s easy to pronounce.

Aprilshowersandhail Thu 06-May-21 19:22:25

Rohan or Kiran are lovely..

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Twickerhun Thu 06-May-21 19:26:35

Isnt Kiran more Christian than Hindu? I do love it though. I like your names and think you have a god vibe for a modern boys name. I’d also add Virat.

In terms of road blocks we found it hard to find a name we both liked - it can take a while sadly. Keep trying.

AnnaMagnani Thu 06-May-21 19:30:09

He's being an arse.

My parents came up with an agreement of boy= English name, girl = DM's culture name. They got girl.

Girl's name had to work for both families to be able to pronounce it, not sound too weird and only contain English letters. Some DM's language names sound bonkers to UK ears.

They didn't manage something that people would be able to spell and it generally isn't correctly pronounced but I get lots of comments it's a nice name. It's not 'out there'.

There are sounds from each language that aren't pronounceable easily by non-native speakers so names with those were banned. Your DH needs to get over himself and realise he is naming a real life human being. He can't call a child living in the UK Shlok.

partyatthepalace Thu 06-May-21 19:39:06

You want a name that is easy to say and spell.
Assuming the baby is getting his surname (?) you can gently point out to him the first name has to work for you. Though really if you want to reflect both your cultures then the first name should be Anglo if the last Indian (not necs William or George)

WaltzingBetty Thu 06-May-21 19:47:14

Arun
Anand

But yes as per PP what parts of the name will reflect their British heritage?

bigcheesematrix Thu 06-May-21 19:48:14

Ashan?

WithASpider Thu 06-May-21 20:08:00

I'm with you OP, it needs to be a name that won't leave him open to bullying at school. Kids can be mean.

Shrey?

LaTomatina Thu 06-May-21 20:15:42

Ravi. Absolutely love it. And the meaning (sun, as I am sure you know). Is it too common/already in your family?

Olinguita Thu 06-May-21 20:49:44

LaTomatina

Ravi. Absolutely love it. And the meaning (sun, as I am sure you know). Is it too common/already in your family?

I love Ravi! Such a cool name. It's on the extended list and I plan to lobby for it wink

OP’s posts: |
DisplayPurposesOnly Thu 06-May-21 20:49:50

I love Rohan. I've always liked Hari too.

Arun? Neel?

FedUpAtHomeTroels Thu 06-May-21 20:50:01

I like Amrish. Ds had best friends who were twins and had an Indian Dad. Ashwin and Amrish

Olinguita Thu 06-May-21 20:50:59

AnnaMagnani

He's being an arse.

My parents came up with an agreement of boy= English name, girl = DM's culture name. They got girl.

Girl's name had to work for both families to be able to pronounce it, not sound too weird and only contain English letters. Some DM's language names sound bonkers to UK ears.

They didn't manage something that people would be able to spell and it generally isn't correctly pronounced but I get lots of comments it's a nice name. It's not 'out there'.

There are sounds from each language that aren't pronounceable easily by non-native speakers so names with those were banned. Your DH needs to get over himself and realise he is naming a real life human being. He can't call a child living in the UK Shlok.

This sounds like a totally sensible approach. And yep you just can't call a child Shlok in this country, it would get picked on so badly in school

OP’s posts: |
DisplayPurposesOnly Thu 06-May-21 20:52:37

Navin? (Or Naveen)

Olinguita Thu 06-May-21 20:53:13

Insertfunnyname

How will the baby name also reflect your culture tho? Do you have a British surname that the baby will use? Or is the baby also having an Indian surname. In which case I don’t understand why it’s all about your husbands heritage and not yours.

This plan was (is) that we had an Indian first name that would "work" in the UK, an English/Biblical middle name and DH's Indian surname. I figured that he is the one who is living away from most of his family while mine are all living in the same town as us so I wanted to give a bit more weight to kiddo's Indian heritage because it's going to be getting a tonne of British cultural influence in its childhood and I don't want the rest of its identity to get forgotten, if that makes sense?

OP’s posts: |
TuvoknotSpock Thu 06-May-21 20:54:49

Ankur is nice,
Ravi/Arun are great and he could live anywhere in the world with those names and have them pronounced correctly.

Girls - Priya is my current fave!

whobubu Thu 06-May-21 20:54:55

Off topic but would love to hear your girls list! I am Indian and DH is English.

Noauthorityhere Thu 06-May-21 20:55:25

Ravi is a great name. Once worked with a Ravi and he was absolutely lovely

Olinguita Thu 06-May-21 20:55:28

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

He's being a dick
I agreed my DS would have a name from XH's culture but the non negotiables were that it was pronounced phonetically and didn't sound silly to English ears. It's not culturally insensitive to say that some names sound odd in other languages! One name my XH suggested was anas which was rejected for sounding like anus for example

It sounds like you understand the challenges perfectly in that case! There are some names that simply don't translate well across cultures. I can't fathom why DH doesn't understand the importance of easy-to-pronounce and not odd/rude-sounding... it's like a total mental block for him!

OP’s posts: |
user392610 Thu 06-May-21 20:56:44

What about Punya? I work with a little boy (in a school) with this name. He's the sweetest thing! I believe it means "pure" or the likes.

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