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Need advice regardging baby names

(6 Posts)
LaudamusTe Sat 13-Feb-21 10:01:41

My husband has a friend who had a baby last year. She named her baby after my husband. Not just the first name but also the middle name. They have known eachother for a long time. Now that my husband and I are planning to have our own baby, I have mixed feelings about this friend. I had dreams of naming our baby after him if it was a boy. But now, I feel indifferent. I have no desire to name the baby after him all because of what happened. I feel sad like my dream has been crushed. Any advice?

OP’s posts: |
partyatthepalace Sat 13-Feb-21 11:19:15

Do you come from a culture where it’s normal for sons to be named after fathers?
Generally I don’t think anyone should give a child a parent’s name as a first name, the child is a person that needs their own identity. Middle name is fair enough.

I think there is less wrong with naming a baby after a friend, as the child has a separate identity anyway, but middle name is still better. It’s slightly odd your husband’s friend chose both, which is why I asked if it was a cultural thing. If it is, and you really want to use your husband’s name then do (is there a different nn that would work?) but otherwise I’d crack on and give your son his own name, and use your husbands as a middle name.

IamnotwhouthinkIam Sat 13-Feb-21 11:27:24

How odd (of your husbands friend). But I believe children deserve their "own" names anyway - although by all means honour your DH by using his name as your baby's middle name if you want to (or maybe use the Grandfathers names as middles instead if you prefer?).

There are so many lovely names to chose from that can be used for a first name if you have a boy - I think having the exact same name as his father is a bit dated and will just cause confusion anyway (and may be unfair too if you go on to have a 2nd DS).

ILoveShula Sat 13-Feb-21 12:10:22

That is weird of the friend. Are the names unusual or is the name something quite ordinary?

Pick a name you like for your baby.

mamablondie33 Mon 15-Feb-21 22:20:05

Very weird if you ask me. Unless his name is super common and she just liked it?

I honestly don’t know what to advise really. Maybe you could still name the baby after your husband and refer to them as ‘John junior’ or JJ (or whatever the name is?)

Have you had this chat with your husband?

user124724643 Tue 23-Feb-21 12:27:36

The friends behaviour is peculiar. Don't feel so put out. I'm not keen on children being named after their parents and think they deserve their own identity.

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