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Being told you can’t use certain names

(52 Posts)
Ohgawd2020 Tue 19-Jan-21 21:00:22

My sister in law has told my husband that she doesn’t want us to use certain names. About five in total. I feel really prickly about this but husband is defending sister. Should I be feeling prickly about this?

OP’s posts: |
daisypond Tue 19-Jan-21 21:02:49

What’s the reason she doesn’t want you to use certain names? Unless they are the names of her children who have sadly died, use whatever names you like.

CoffeeRunner Tue 19-Jan-21 21:07:56

Is she trying to “reserve” names for her own future babies? If so, why does she think she gets first pick? And why five times?

As PP rightly says, if they happen to the names of her own lost DCs then you should absolutely respect her wishes.

Otherwise. No.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese Tue 19-Jan-21 21:08:48

Well she can ask, but you can ignore the request if they are names you had already said you like. If they aren't names you have even considered, I would steer clear, only because if you use one it could be seen as a spiteful decision even if it wasn't.

Ohgawd2020 Tue 19-Jan-21 21:11:26

For context, she is single, has never had children and isn’t planning on it anytime soon. Like the names herself apparently.

OP’s posts: |
ParisJeTAime Tue 19-Jan-21 21:12:39

Haha what?! Weird. I think my sister sort of did this, but honestly it sailed right over me. It's as if she never said it.

heyyyduggee Tue 19-Jan-21 21:12:49

No you are not unreasonable.
I had a major fall out with a close cousin AFTER the birth of my daughter because I had chosen 'her' name. She had apparently told me but I didn't remember.
We're 7 years on and she still has no children and isn't close to having any either. So the thought of not picking a name you love on the basis that someone may use it in the future is in my opinion- wrong.
Now if I had another and someone I knew said I couldn't use a name that I wanted to I wouldn't pay any attention to it.

CutsOffCorners Tue 19-Jan-21 21:13:12

Are they names you would actually seriously be considering using? If so, ignore her and carry on.

If not, laugh and tell her they are so dated/ugly that she's welcome to keep them grin

Santaiscovidfree Tue 19-Jan-21 21:14:16

Personally I would use all 5

ParisJeTAime Tue 19-Jan-21 21:14:26

Ooooooh ours was because she hated the names! They were all fine names that we had no intention of using.

If she's reserving names, that is quite odd, BUT, I know I have considered names and then decided against them because childless friends had always said they were their maybe not that weird. But 5 is too much.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Tue 19-Jan-21 21:15:22

My child would be called all 5 of those names out of pure spite 🤣🤣

Babyfg Tue 19-Jan-21 21:19:32

I had a girls name when I was pregnant and my cousin told me I couldn't use it because her boyfriends sister (who was like 35) had that name and she would think I named the baby after her. I had met this girl like twice ever, I doubt she'd have even recognised me in the street. We had a boy but I'd have definitely have used the name. It's so ridiculous isn't it. Like no one owns a name 🙄

And youre definitely not bu. I'd use all five out of spite!

ParisJeTAime Tue 19-Jan-21 21:28:35

I am still not over DH deciding we couldn't use a number of baby names because people like his BIL's sister had children with the same name. Our dcs have met them a couple of times and I haven't seen them in years! Very annoying.

Use the names you love.

Luckingfovely Tue 19-Jan-21 21:30:21

This is just laughable grin I'm with pp for using all five!

JohnBarron Tue 19-Jan-21 21:33:42

You should have looked horrified and said ‘God no, those names are awful!’ grin

IamnotwhouthinkIam Tue 19-Jan-21 22:03:49

Ha! I would have secretly loved to to do this (one of the last in my huge family to try for kids) as there's a few names I absolutely love; but you just can't - surely basic manners dictate that it's CF behaviour to make demands like this?

To an extent, it's first come, first served with names imo - but if it's a very popular/common name (or there are strong family reasons for using a name, eg. a beloved deceased Grandparent), then equally no-one should be surprised if you use the name another family member has already used too.

LetItGoGo Tue 19-Jan-21 22:04:31

No way.

yvanka Tue 19-Jan-21 22:06:05

Do you like any of the names? I'd ignore her if so, though obviously it is your DH's choice too and if he's (weirdly) on his sister's side then there isn't much you can do.

LetItGoGo Tue 19-Jan-21 22:06:14

As in no way should he be paying heed.

CeeceeBloomingdale Tue 19-Jan-21 22:08:50


Personally I would use all 5


Firebird83 Tue 19-Jan-21 22:10:02

Would you actually consider any of the names?

Ohgawd2020 Tue 19-Jan-21 22:53:35

Awkwardly enough, yes

OP’s posts: |
itwillbehormones Tue 19-Jan-21 22:55:18

That's just odd, I'd ignore it totally

Terracottasaur Tue 19-Jan-21 22:55:26

Ignore her. She’s being a dick.

SleepingStandingUp Tue 19-Jan-21 22:56:27

So is she bagsying them for her possible children, or she doesn't want your children to use the names of the babies she never had iyswim?

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