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Can I name my child this?

(10 Posts)
kinderbuenos97 Sat 21-Nov-20 20:10:12

So this name is one that’s been on my ‘baby names’ list since I was about 17! (Please don’t judge I’ve just always been excited to be a momma and name my children)

It’s a modernised version of a classic name I’d say. Let’s say it’s Billy (William being the classic name of this)

Always loved this name, however DH’s dad and older brother are called the classic name.

DH’s brother is pretty done having kids and has had 3 girls and has 2 stepsons. Him and his wife haven’t expressed an interest in having more kids and stated they don’t want anymore which I know doesn’t rule them out completely

Is it unreasonable if we call our child this? I’ve always loved the name, DH loves it but feels like he needs to ask his brother can he use it? As his brother has his fathers name and BIL and wife did mention once if they had a boy it would’ve been this name as it’s a modern version of his

Of course I can find another name, just want to know would it be so wrong if we called our son this?

DH did say on the flip side he’d have the modernised version of his grandads name! So it should be okay, but he still feels he needs to ask his brother. But at the same time we don’t want to telly anyone DS name until he is born

Help?!!

OP’s posts: |
ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 21-Nov-20 20:13:51

I think you can use it, but I’d bite the bullet and mention it first rather than a big announcement on the birth.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper Sat 21-Nov-20 20:17:00

It's a family name for your dh, no need to run it past a family who aren't having any more dc imo..
Use the name.

FredtheFerret Sat 21-Nov-20 20:17:42

As is often said on here, People don't own a name.

I'd call your child what you want. If BIL said anything I'd look surprised and say, We used it as a version of the family name. With three girls I thought you were done - and let's be honest, you might go on to have another three girls! This isn't a name you own.

If pushed could DH not say, It also has meaning for kinder?

tinytoucan Sat 21-Nov-20 20:30:58

Slightly different scenario, but I was pregnant at the same time as my SIL. They knew they were having a boy but we didn’t know what we were having. A month or so before the babies were due my DB mentioned in conversation they were planning to use our DF’s name as a middle name, not in an asking permission way, just letting me know. I already have an older DC we didn’t use the name for, so I think if it hasn’t already been used it’s fair game (not that anybody owns a name!)
I was pleased he told me as although I didn’t intend to use it it is a ‘family name’ so I thought it was nice of him to give me the heads up. Obviously this is a bit different as you’re talking about a first name that your DH’s brother also has, but I’d think any reasonable person wouldn’t have a problem with it and would just think it was nice you were carrying on the tradition.

tinytoucan Sat 21-Nov-20 20:31:32

Sorry for the long paragraph!

TotalBitch Sat 21-Nov-20 20:32:50

So dh's dad and brother are called William and you want to use Billy (type thing)? That's fine imo.

MollyBloomYes Sat 21-Nov-20 20:33:39

My brother and Sil used my mums name as the middle name for their daughter. It's kind of a family tradition-my gran has it as her middle name, my mum's name, it's my middle name and so I'd always imagined I'd use it as a middle name for my imagined daughter. Except I had two boys. Then got divorced. It did sting a teeny tiny bit when they announced the name but only in a wistful kind of way because I don't feel 'done' having children but it's looking increasingly likely I might have to accept I am. However my mum was so touched, the family tradition had carried on and how could I possibly be angry at that? I don't think it would be awful of you at all to use the name, sound out relatives ahead of time if you must but as others have said, nobody owns a name so it might be better to phrase it as 'we are going to use this name and hope that's not weird for you' rather than 'please can we use this name?'

Monkeypeas Sat 21-Nov-20 20:38:43

If your husband feels it’s important to give them a heads up then I think you use to accept that but I’d be making it clear that you aren’t asking for permission.

They don’t get the final say on your child’s name.

Rather it’s a case if saying ‘hey, if baby is a boy we’re pretty keen on using “Billy” as not only is it honour of dad, and you of course DB. But it’s also been Kinders favourite name for years so it feels perfect’

Rachellow Sat 21-Nov-20 21:18:11

I think it depends as some shortened names are very different to their classic root. I wouldn't actually automatically connect Billy to William. If you love Sammy and DB is Samuel I think it's wise to give a heads up but if it doesn't even have the same first letter I think you're grand

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