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Middle name dilemma for DD due next year!

(47 Posts)
Feburary2021Baby Fri 20-Nov-20 18:17:13

Our DD is due February 2021, we’re so excited and have picked her name.

However, we love a certain middle name and have become a bit worried as DH’s brothers daughter has this middle name

It’s quite a common middle name! Amongst others but we love it and it first her first and surname perfectly her name reads so lovely

We’re just worried that BIL and his wife will be annoyed that we’d use the same middle name as their daughter? I hope they wouldn’t be too hung up on it but DH’s brother is a bit childish to say the least so I can imagine he’d make snipey comments and be a bit rude to us regarding it

We don’t want that at all, we just want it to be a happy time and we don’t want to pick this name to annoy BIL but we really do just love the middle name for reasons stated before!

Is it so unreasonable if she had the same middle name as his daughter ? Her cousin

Are we being arseholes or am I just worrying too much?

OP’s posts: |
TotalBitch Fri 20-Nov-20 18:26:13

If it's Rose, May, Rae or Grace, they can't seriously object, as so many parents pick these as middle names for girls. However, if it's such a common place name with no real significance, then why would you not choose something else?

JuneFromBethesda Fri 20-Nov-20 18:27:35

You’re worrying too much 🙂

Chilldonaldchill Fri 20-Nov-20 18:31:34

My children would have been delighted if their (much younger) cousins had shared a middle name with them.
I agree with pp though - if it's one of the three ubiquitous filler mn's why not just pick a different one?

Feburary2021Baby Fri 20-Nov-20 18:32:15

@TotalBitch it is one of those you’ve listed! And we just love how it sounds with her names, it compliments both first and surname and we thought it reads lovely

We did consider doing it as a double barrelled first name as we loved the sound of it so much!

May have no significance we just really love it (and we’re so fussy on names. DS wasn’t named until he was 5 days old)

OP’s posts: |
TotalBitch Fri 20-Nov-20 18:34:01

Well if you're set on it, go for it. He brother has no business objecting. More so if it was something really unusual. But you also can't object if he does act like a twat, as you are expecting it and going for the name anyway. Should he act like a twat? No.

CatteStreet Fri 20-Nov-20 18:34:16

Two of my children have (significantly older) cousins' first names among their middle names.

Nell96 Fri 20-Nov-20 18:36:56

I think it's fine, particularly as it's a very common middle name. I think they'd have to be very pretty to make a fuss about it. No one really uses middle names anyway - they're just a nice extra for the birth certificate and a bit of a back-up name I always think. I don't even have one.

Nell96 Fri 20-Nov-20 18:37:42

Nell96

I think it's fine, particularly as it's a very common middle name. I think they'd have to be very pretty to make a fuss about it. No one really uses middle names anyway - they're just a nice extra for the birth certificate and a bit of a back-up name I always think. I don't even have one.

*petty

YoniAndGuy Fri 20-Nov-20 18:51:03

Honestly - if it's one of those they are so meaningless now that they cannot possibly object!

I'd just look astonished if they say anything and say oh really? totally forgot that was your DD too - Rose is so common isn't it! At least 3 of our friends have used it too!

But - honestly, you cannot say that you are fussy about names if you've chosen one of those. Every other child probably has one of those names as a middle. They are without personality now. So really - is it possible to think again, especially as you know it will probably annoy them? your child might thank you for it, you are literally giving them the equivalent of what will sound like Lisa, Sarah, Claire or Louise are for the mum generation now!

Feburary2021Baby Fri 20-Nov-20 19:04:25

@YoniAndGuy I meant more fussy with first names!

DS has the middle name George which is quite common for boys! We’re just very fussy on first names

OP’s posts: |
MrsGilly1 Fri 20-Nov-20 20:15:28

Hi,

If is a middle name I dont think it matters if niece has the name middle name.

Is there a longer version of the name such as if Rose can you have Rosalie, Rosie or Rosalind etc?

If Grace could you do Gracie? X

user1493494961 Fri 20-Nov-20 20:20:04

I would choose a family name as a middle, something a bit meaningful, rather than give her the same name as her cousin.

PolarnOPirate Fri 20-Nov-20 20:21:30

My nephew has the same middle name as my son, we weren’t consulted and it barely registered with me tbh! Name of the dads’ grandad. 2 of my cousins have the same middle name. If you ask before the baby is born then you run the risk of them saying they’d rather you didn’t use it 😁

PolarnOPirate Fri 20-Nov-20 20:22:52

To add, I went to school with a girl whose middle name was her younger sister’s first name. That’s a bit more hmm, it was a lovely name to be fair!

Feburary2021Baby Fri 20-Nov-20 21:14:50

Hi everyone, thank you for the suggestions but just to clarify I’m asking is it bad we’re using the same middle name (thank you for the responses I really don’t feel bad anymore!)

I understand everyone saying “use a different one” “use a meaningful one” but we’ve made our mind up on this for reasons I’ve stated. Again my question was just asking is it bad to have same middle name as her cousin, which it’s not really is it

OP’s posts: |
DramaAlpaca Fri 20-Nov-20 21:34:04

I think it's fine.

DS's younger cousin has DS's middle name as his first name. Nobody minds.

RAOK Fri 20-Nov-20 21:47:12

It’s totally fine!

MaverickDanger Fri 20-Nov-20 21:52:23

I have the same middle name as three of my cousins.

Elizabeth was the 80z version of Rose/Grace/May today!

Firebird83 Fri 20-Nov-20 22:19:43

It’s fine, but those are all very bland “filler” middle names.

FlyNow Fri 20-Nov-20 23:17:23

I wouldn't worry about it. If it's one of those above, I'd be more suprised if there weren't two in the family. I think they are lovely names though, sometimes popular things are popular for a reason.

Also it's a middle name. Apart from a comment right after the birth "oh nice, the same as x", it will probably never come up again. I couldn't even tell my cousins middle names.

SephrinaX Fri 20-Nov-20 23:24:18

My son and his cousin have the same middle name and I'm not bothered in the slightest.

Majority of the time people don't use/announce their middle names so no one outside the family is likely to notice.

Mumoftwoinprimary Fri 20-Nov-20 23:26:29

My son has the same middle name as his cousins - boy equivalent of Grace - they love it!

RAOK Sat 21-Nov-20 02:33:45

Mumoftwoinprimary

My son has the same middle name as his cousins - boy equivalent of Grace - they love it!

James?

HerRoyalNotness Sat 21-Nov-20 02:35:30

I have the same middle name as a cousin. I’m the elder by a few months. It’s never been an issue

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