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Baby names

The name I chose doesn't feel right

42 replies

05victoria0520 · 02/07/2020 22:50

Oh I'm so embarrassed to say the baby name I chose doesn't feel right it doesn't feel like their name when I say it?!!!!
I've not registered it because of the coronavirus

I'm not sure of any names set in stone either I'm registering next week and I'm getting anxious !

I'm scared people will think I'm unstable or a rubbish mum if I change it or one I've changed it I will like the first name ?!

My brain is really not my own and baby brain is so real! Confused

I'm on my own too I tried to incorporate dads name in so he has a link but I am not adding that middle nameHmm

How will I know what to do?

OP posts:
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LarkDescending · 02/07/2020 22:58

Nobody is going to think you are unstable or a rubbish mum if you change your mind about a name. If that is what feels right then it is easy, what with the birth not yet having been registered.

Have you got an alternative name to try out? Or a shortlist which you can think about over the weekend? Maybe try each new name for a day to see what sticks.

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newmum332 · 03/07/2020 06:53

Aww OP , nobody will think that but it must be a difficult situation to be in. It is really hard choosing a name.

Do you have any other names that you like? If I were you I would try using any other options you have for a day each and see what comes most natural to you, I’m sure something will stick.

If the problem is trying to incorporate your dads name into it, maybe you could speak to him about your concerns and get him to help name your baby instead so he has a connection that way ? Instead of actually using his name. That would be special for him.

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Anon778833 · 03/07/2020 07:01

Of course you’re not a rubbish mum. Sometimes this happens with names. I chose a whole load of names for dd3 but once she was born none of them suited her. Sometimes children don’t grow into their names. It’s ok to change your mind. Much better to get something you’re happy with now.

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Ricekrispie22 · 03/07/2020 08:05

Don’t use a name you’re not happy with just because you’re worried about what people will think about you. It’s you who’s going to be using this name 100x a day for many years to come!

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Treacletoots · 03/07/2020 08:09

I felt exactly the same OP after being so certain before.

I think it's because it's new, and you're not used to it yet. At first I regretted choosing the name and considered using her middle name but then 3 or 4 months later I loved it again and was glad we didn't change it.

Give it time to settle in, you picked it for a reason..

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HappyPunky · 03/07/2020 08:09

If you're on your own use your last name and try out names you like.

Have you done a Facebook post announcing the birth and name? If so you could do a new one just announcing the new name just saying baby didn't look like a name so it's now name no one will think bad of you for it Flowers its hard with a newborn especially on your own xxx

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Starlight39 · 03/07/2020 08:14

Is it your first baby? I found it sort of strange that we had selected a random name and now this little person “is” that name! I called him baby for a while but slowly the name grew to be him and stuck. I loved and still love the name, it was just a process to get him to be the name of that makes any sense!

Or it could be that you’re just not quite sold on the name, try out any others on your list?

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SteelyPanther · 03/07/2020 08:18

With my babies I had a few names we liked but we didn’t actually choose the name until the baby was born and we could see what they looked like.
They just didn’t suit some of the names.

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Shutupyoutart · 03/07/2020 08:31

This may be a bit outing but my cousin had twins they are teens now. they had their names decided before birth. Twins arrived and were named. A week or two later they changed the name of twin 2 as it didn't suit her. She even has a card with congratulations on the birth of x and y that she has shown her girls lol no one thought any the less of her and I couldn't imagine twin 2 being anything other then her new name now! People might raise their eyebrows at first but who cares? like a pp said its you who will be using her name day in day out forever so you choose one that feels right to you. It's early days and the sleep deprivation and mum brain are tough so be kind to yourself. I'm sure you will find a lovely name soon that you are happy with and one day this will just be a funny story that you can tell your daughter just like my cousin good luck op.x

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Wingingthis · 03/07/2020 08:34

I have recently just changed my baby’s name at 9 weeks old. Honestly no one cared and if they did they’ll soon forget :) it’s her name for life so just change it x

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EngagedAgain · 03/07/2020 09:54

Everyone else will soon forget about it, so if you have another in mind you prefer do it, it's certainly not too late, now's the time. Try to narrow down some other choices. I would have thought by now he would have developed a character enough to fit with another choice of yours. While you have time have a look at the suggestions on mn to see if anything grabs you. Try to work out what it is you don't like about the name you initially chose. Also, I would broach the subject with someone you know, see what they think of the other names you have in mind. I don't think you can go far wrong with most names anyway if that helps.

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sweetnosugar · 03/07/2020 10:51

You aren’t unstable!
You aren’t a rubbish mum!
You’ve just had a baby, yes baby brain is very real.
If you aren’t happy, change it! Is there another name you like?

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spiderlight · 03/07/2020 11:32

You're not a rubbish mum, don't worry! This is very common - it felt alien to me to give a name to someone who still felt very much like a part of me, and although we named him straight away, it felt awkward using his name at first and he was 'the baby' or 'Bod' (what we'd called him as a bump) for many many weeks before he grew into his name. If you have another name that feels right, though, change it before you've registered. Nobody will think any less of you.

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MikeUniformMike · 03/07/2020 13:04

Congratulations on the new baby!

I'm scared people will think I'm unstable or a rubbish mum if I change it or one I've changed it I will like the first name ?!

Nobody worth worrying about will think that.

I think you can register a birth without a name, but I'm not sure.
www.gov.uk/register-birth

You can change the name until the baby is 12 months old, but the old name will still be there crossed out.

Pick a name you like, and that you will always like, that goes nicely with the surname.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/07/2020 13:24

Is the nAme Victoria if so it's gorgeous. You've got to like it though.
Also Sometimes a name just doesn't fit a child. Does she look like another name in particular.

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Rhynswynd · 03/07/2020 13:39

I called my son "the boy" for about a month even though I had chosen his name before his birth and loved it. I just found the responsibility of naming another human forever to be quite overwhelming. My dad told me to stop being stupid and just use his name.

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05victoria0520 · 04/07/2020 00:54

Thank you so much everyone, I can't believe so many of you responded ... you don't know how much that means not to feel alone.

All I do know is I love my boy and how lucky I am SmileDaffodil

His daddy isn't in contact, the other name is lovely they all are ... 🤦🏼‍♀️

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FourForYouGlenCoco · 04/07/2020 01:07

Change it if you want to OP. I love my eldest 2 children’s names, they suit them perfectly. Never felt like my youngest’s name was quite right, put it down to the new baby craziness and figured I’d grow to love it. I still think it’s a lovely name but it still doesn’t suit her at all imo and I really wish I’d changed it way back when she was tiny and it wouldn’t have mattered - she’s now 2 and I’ve never liked her name on her even though objectively I love it. Considering talking to DH about changing it by deed poll, although I’m sure he’ll say no and that will be that. Wish I’d listened to my instinct all those months ago and given her a name that suited her better!

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ladybird69 · 04/07/2020 01:30

When I was pregnant I had chosen a girls name and a boys name, I’d loved them since I was a child! I had a baby boy and was bit disappointed that I couldn’t use my girls name. Fast forward 20 + years I’m so glad that I didn’t have a girl with that name as I hate it now I would have had to change it. People change their names all the time. I know lots of people who have changed their own names or use their middle name when they get older. My grandmas era are the worst, usually it’s only at their funeral that you discover their real registered name.

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Ricekrispiecake · 04/07/2020 20:15

No one will think you’re a rubbish mum, when I had my first I was home alone and completely forgot his name !! My mind was blank I kept calling him all these different names n in the end called my sister and asked her his name!!! ... baby brain is real!

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05victoria0520 · 07/07/2020 14:39

Elliott Edward
Or
Louie Elliott

OP posts:
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Whatsyourflava · 07/07/2020 15:02

Both are really lovely names @05victoria0520 you've got excellent taste

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Topseyt · 07/07/2020 15:05

I like Elliott Edward, personally. Your other choice is fine too though.

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Apolloanddaphne · 07/07/2020 15:10

I like Elliott Edward best. It sounds nicer when you say it out loud I think.

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Poppydaisies · 07/07/2020 15:51

Both are lovely names.

I prefer Louie.

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