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I hate my friend's choice of name. Do I tell her?

(112 Posts)
mollpop Sun 30-Jun-19 21:54:06

Ok. I have a friend who has recently given birth to a beautiful baby boy. She's thinking of calling him Miller and asked me what I think. Do I tell her (in a tactful way)? FWIW I think it's a dreadful name.

OP’s posts: |
Pizzaaddict Thu 04-Jul-19 10:57:00

I think it’s lovely. But anyway no don’t tell her because.. why would you?

Puppilongstrumpf Thu 04-Jul-19 10:52:50

Sorry, that question was meant to read:

Why should the op's taste in names be any better than that of her friend?

BertrandRussell Thu 04-Jul-19 10:51:29

To be fair- the friend did ask the OP what she thought. It depends on the friendship- with my friendships my response would be on a spectrum starting at “It’s perfect” and ending at “What are you THINKING!! “ passing through “Have you considered that the obvious appreciation is Milly?” on the way.

Puppilongstrumpf Thu 04-Jul-19 10:51:21

Also, why should op's taste in names be 'better' than the op's?hmm

Quintella Thu 04-Jul-19 10:45:48

The bloody arrogance of the OP wondering if she should inform her 'friend' of her sneery dislike of her newborn's name.

I kind of wish you would and that her response would be 'Miller and I think you're a tosser now please bugger off'.

zebedeeeeee Wed 03-Jul-19 22:47:58

Whether you hate the name or love it, just remember to be kind. She's just had a baby. It's a tough time.

Justus22 Wed 03-Jul-19 20:01:33

I really like it, I don't like some of my friends kids names but I have never said (but theyve never asked.) My friends have been brutally honest re my potential names list and my best friend hates one of my names but if I like it after she's born and it suits her, I'll not give a hoot. She prob won't go on trying to discourage me post birth though. X

CloserIAm2Fine Wed 03-Jul-19 19:38:59

Of course you don’t say you hate the name. You would be insulting the name she’s chosen to call the most precious thing in her life. It’s not your taste ( or mine fwiw) but it’s not your child so your taste doesn’t matter.

Frazzled2207 Wed 03-Jul-19 17:26:08

She did ask, so I'd say "um I'm not keen personally to be honest but I don't think it's anything to do with me what you call your baby. He's gorgeous btw" etc

Pinkmalinky Wed 03-Jul-19 17:19:41

My best friend wanted to call her DC Bruce confused. Awful name but I didn’t have the heart to tell her, luckily she had a girl!

FartnissEverbeans Wed 03-Jul-19 16:00:23

Also, using surnames as first names is a Scottish tradition that goes back a long way. I’ve known men called Wilson, Forbes etc. It tends to be the mum’s maiden name. Nobody gives a shit

FartnissEverbeans Wed 03-Jul-19 15:59:20

If you thought the name would actually hurt the child you’d be right to say something - like if she’d called him Lucifer or Adolf or something.

Otherwise, just say it’s not your style but it suits him. Why on earth would you do anything else? Your opinion is not useful.

I like it fwiw.

Dishclout Tue 02-Jul-19 23:01:11

I assume that poster was being ironic. And in fairness, if the friend sent the OP a message, ignoring the question for several days is pretty much its own answer.

QuimReaper Tue 02-Jul-19 22:37:16

* She asked you, and presumably you said ‘Hang on’ and posted on Mn? Is she sitting opposite you waiting?*

Presumably her friend asked by text or email or WhatsApp or Facebook or one of the many other ways people can communicate without "sitting opposite" each other. Since you're on the internet right now I presume you're familiar with the concept confused

ChristinaMarlowe Tue 02-Jul-19 22:10:01

My DD is called Milla (same pronunciation) and we recently had a party invite to "Miller" that made me cringe, I wanted to text the mum and correct her! Not sure why it bothered me so much!

eastcoastmum2014 Tue 02-Jul-19 21:36:14

No you tell her it's a lovely name for a beautiful baby and move on! It's not worth falling out with a friend and its not your business really what she names her child xx

devilishlygood Tue 02-Jul-19 21:30:50

I remember when my best friend had her first years and years ago... it was like this mad realisation that we were completely different people!

She’s all done with babies now, but I’m going to really struggle to admit my baby names to her, because I don’t know that she will be able to keep quiet if she doesn’t like them. Although it won’t make s blind bit of difference!! I know she’ll love my babies as much as I love hers, I just won’t ever say her kids’ names out loud!!! 😂

MirrorHope Tue 02-Jul-19 12:23:35

My best friend named her son a name sorry I can't say it cos it's very distinctive but it's a C name in the US and she turned it into a K name and anyway everyone was like you have to say to her that name is just wrong!! I couldn't say anything because I don't think it was my place.

Anyway now we're fine with it and got used to it.

mummmy2017 Tue 02-Jul-19 12:18:14

Be her friend . Say nothing.

BarryBarryTaylor Tue 02-Jul-19 12:01:17

It wouldn’t be my choice, but neither would be Olivia or George so if I was asked I would just say that’s unusual and move on.

Kokeshi123 Tue 02-Jul-19 01:32:41

I think it's best to shut up about feelings which are based on something very subjective (I hate "Hannah" because I knew three really horrible Hannahs at school, but that's just me and it's nothing to do with the name).

In the case of "Miller," I would probably point out the "Milly" thing. I don't think the name is too bad, really, though. And he'll probably end up being "Mills."

Twelve8Ts Mon 01-Jul-19 23:37:34

Not a name? You mean that you don’t know anyone with that name? I don’t know anyone called Taylor but I still know that Taylor is a name! I know of 3 Millers, it’s not that unusual..

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 01-Jul-19 22:14:10

If I really loved a name I wouldn’t care that my friends don’t like it. So you may upset her but she still won't change the name
- not worth it. It’s not like it’s harmful/ shocking, it’s just that it’s not your cup of tea.

bananasandwicheseveryday Mon 01-Jul-19 22:11:53

If the friend hadn't have asked, I would say keep quiet. However, she has asked so in that case I'd tactfully let her know it isn't a name you'd choose. If you prefer 'traditional'names or names that are associated with a particular location or theme, you only have to say something along the lines of, ' it's not a name I would have thought of as I tend to like traditional/ regional/shorter/longer/family names.'
She may have asked because she has doubts for some reason, so you could find ours'if that is the case and what her doubts are.
It's difficult. I confess, Dh and I settled on names for our DCs by the time I was about 7 months pregnant and other than not knowing whether we were having boys or girls, in our heads those were their names and we didn't deviate.

BertrandRussell Mon 01-Jul-19 22:03:31

If she hasn’t made the Milly connection you must tell her that.

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