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Page 4 | I hate my friend's choice of name. Do I tell her?

(112 Posts)
mollpop Sun 30-Jun-19 21:54:06

Ok. I have a friend who has recently given birth to a beautiful baby boy. She's thinking of calling him Miller and asked me what I think. Do I tell her (in a tactful way)? FWIW I think it's a dreadful name.

OP’s posts: |
EugenesAxe Mon 01-Jul-19 12:20:56

I agree with SleepingStanding and others, if she's asked your opinion you'd be within your rights to say it's not one you like much, but that if she likes it your opinion shouldn't matter; beyond that you can't really say anything.

I also dislike the name though. Using surnames as first names is a US thing; I like traditional names that are more timeless.

sawyersfishbiscuits Mon 01-Jul-19 12:59:07

Normally I'd say nothing... it's just a worry that one day, he'll do a big trump and someone will say "Oh you're windy, Miller!"

Marcipex Mon 01-Jul-19 13:14:19

I don’t like it much either, but I also dislike the massively popular George.
It’s hard to know what to say sometimes. Relatives named their baby Mona. We thought it was a joke and it wasn’t...awkward.

Puppilongstrumpf Mon 01-Jul-19 15:20:22

Why should our opinions matter if your friend likes the name Miller?

SemperIdem Mon 01-Jul-19 19:39:09

Be honest, as she’s asked.

A friend of mine told me the name I was thinking of using for my daughter was a name for a “pretty but stupid girl”. I went on to use the name and she swears blind that she didn’t ever say such a thing, has done since my daughters name was announced grin

teenmum18 Mon 01-Jul-19 19:42:49

When I had my last baby i was set on a name. Told my best friend the name when I was in labour and she told me she hated it 🤦🏻‍♀️ she put my right off it and we used something else. I regret not calling dd the original name because it would suit her so much better than what she's actually named! Don't tell your friend op. It really isn't your business.

Bourbonbiccy Mon 01-Jul-19 19:59:43

If she has asked, yes be honest.

Nofunkingworriesmate Mon 01-Jul-19 20:03:18

To don’t like anyone else’s baby names that’s why I didn’t use them

Biscuitsneeded Mon 01-Jul-19 20:07:41

Deflect. Say " oooh how many names have you got on your shortlist?" and then as soon as she says anything reasonable start gushing and say what a lovely name it his and how much it suits him.

Puppilongstrumpf Mon 01-Jul-19 21:35:15

But why should your friend change her mind just because you have a different taste?! Who says that your taste is better?

mabelmylove Mon 01-Jul-19 21:37:21

Obviously it isn’t up to you what she names her child. But if she has asked for your opinion why should you have to lie? It’s her choice whether to take that to heart or not.

Owlbert Mon 01-Jul-19 21:52:12

I would not tell her!

BertrandRussell Mon 01-Jul-19 22:03:31

If she hasn’t made the Milly connection you must tell her that.

bananasandwicheseveryday Mon 01-Jul-19 22:11:53

If the friend hadn't have asked, I would say keep quiet. However, she has asked so in that case I'd tactfully let her know it isn't a name you'd choose. If you prefer 'traditional'names or names that are associated with a particular location or theme, you only have to say something along the lines of, ' it's not a name I would have thought of as I tend to like traditional/ regional/shorter/longer/family names.'
She may have asked because she has doubts for some reason, so you could find ours'if that is the case and what her doubts are.
It's difficult. I confess, Dh and I settled on names for our DCs by the time I was about 7 months pregnant and other than not knowing whether we were having boys or girls, in our heads those were their names and we didn't deviate.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 01-Jul-19 22:14:10

If I really loved a name I wouldn’t care that my friends don’t like it. So you may upset her but she still won't change the name
- not worth it. It’s not like it’s harmful/ shocking, it’s just that it’s not your cup of tea.

Twelve8Ts Mon 01-Jul-19 23:37:34

Not a name? You mean that you don’t know anyone with that name? I don’t know anyone called Taylor but I still know that Taylor is a name! I know of 3 Millers, it’s not that unusual..

Kokeshi123 Tue 02-Jul-19 01:32:41

I think it's best to shut up about feelings which are based on something very subjective (I hate "Hannah" because I knew three really horrible Hannahs at school, but that's just me and it's nothing to do with the name).

In the case of "Miller," I would probably point out the "Milly" thing. I don't think the name is too bad, really, though. And he'll probably end up being "Mills."

BarryBarryTaylor Tue 02-Jul-19 12:01:17

It wouldn’t be my choice, but neither would be Olivia or George so if I was asked I would just say that’s unusual and move on.

mummmy2017 Tue 02-Jul-19 12:18:14

Be her friend . Say nothing.

MirrorHope Tue 02-Jul-19 12:23:35

My best friend named her son a name sorry I can't say it cos it's very distinctive but it's a C name in the US and she turned it into a K name and anyway everyone was like you have to say to her that name is just wrong!! I couldn't say anything because I don't think it was my place.

Anyway now we're fine with it and got used to it.

devilishlygood Tue 02-Jul-19 21:30:50

I remember when my best friend had her first years and years ago... it was like this mad realisation that we were completely different people!

She’s all done with babies now, but I’m going to really struggle to admit my baby names to her, because I don’t know that she will be able to keep quiet if she doesn’t like them. Although it won’t make s blind bit of difference!! I know she’ll love my babies as much as I love hers, I just won’t ever say her kids’ names out loud!!! 😂

eastcoastmum2014 Tue 02-Jul-19 21:36:14

No you tell her it's a lovely name for a beautiful baby and move on! It's not worth falling out with a friend and its not your business really what she names her child xx

ChristinaMarlowe Tue 02-Jul-19 22:10:01

My DD is called Milla (same pronunciation) and we recently had a party invite to "Miller" that made me cringe, I wanted to text the mum and correct her! Not sure why it bothered me so much!

QuimReaper Tue 02-Jul-19 22:37:16

* She asked you, and presumably you said ‘Hang on’ and posted on Mn? Is she sitting opposite you waiting?*

Presumably her friend asked by text or email or WhatsApp or Facebook or one of the many other ways people can communicate without "sitting opposite" each other. Since you're on the internet right now I presume you're familiar with the concept confused

Dishclout Tue 02-Jul-19 23:01:11

I assume that poster was being ironic. And in fairness, if the friend sent the OP a message, ignoring the question for several days is pretty much its own answer.

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