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Two middle names?

(35 Posts)
Liloslilo Tue 12-Jun-18 19:21:23

My daughter only has one middle name but I would like to give my son two to honour my OH’s family tradition but my dad’s name too. Does it matter that he has two but daughter has one? I’m not keen on two middle names generally but I can’t imagine having a son and not putting my dad’s name in there x

Swtp Tue 12-Jun-18 19:29:30

Hi, my DS has 2 middle names. His dad want his first name as DS middle name and DS already had dad's surname. I wanted a name (my dad's middle name) from my side of the family too.
Plus, it's sound good when I call DS to tell him off. grin

daisypond Tue 12-Jun-18 19:45:37

I do think it's a bit odd to give your daughter only one middle name whereas your son would get two.

Liloslilo Tue 12-Jun-18 19:52:23

My reasoning is all the males in OH family have the same middle name, say ‘John’ including his much loved granddad so there is no question that it has to be in there and it will be his first middle name. But I just can’t stop thinking about having my dad’s name in there too. My daughter’s middle name honours my nan-my dad’s mother. If I didn’t put my dad’s name in then there are no family links from my side of the family as first name is just a name we like and agree on.

lifechangesforever Tue 12-Jun-18 19:58:54

I have 3 middle names (I know!) but my 3 brothers all have 2 - never thought it odd for a second.

daisypond Tue 12-Jun-18 20:05:47

Life - but your brothers might!

FrozenMargarita17 Tue 12-Jun-18 20:06:58

My dd has two middle names. I picked one and Dh picked one. I don't really like the name he picked but I was hormonal when he asked so I said yes! We don't use it really, she is sometimes called firstname firstmiddlename

daisypond Tue 12-Jun-18 20:09:39

Frozen - but the issue is that the daughter only has one middle name, and the son might have two. It's not about two middle names in general.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 12-Jun-18 20:11:39

I have two, dB has three. It’s absolutely not an issue.

FrozenMargarita17 Tue 12-Jun-18 20:14:07

Sorry what I was trying to say is that I don't think it matters really because while it'll be there on paper you probably won't really use it. I don't think it'll make any difference to them ?

PatriciaHolm Tue 12-Jun-18 20:15:21

That's how ours ended up, a bit of a last minute decision to give a name that meant something to FIL to DS as well as the middle name we'd decided on (we decided pretty much in the registry office!) DD knows why and how it happened and isn't the least bit bothered (her middle name is a family one on my side)

daisypond Tue 12-Jun-18 20:28:25

My DH has two middle names, as does his brother, and his sisters only have one. The boys have a name that is passed down the male line in their family. I don't think he's ever thought about it, but to me it has always smacked of how the boys were favoured over the girls in their family - boys all went to private school, the girls didn't, etc, is one example. I'm probably overthinking it!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Tue 12-Jun-18 20:29:14

My aunt doesn't have a middle name, my mum does. There's no reason, just what grandma wanted at the time. It's not affected their relationship. If anything, my aunt likes the middle name more than my mum does!

lifechangesforever Tue 12-Jun-18 20:35:15

@daisypond my brothers honestly don't care, just asked one of them out of interest - he's never even noticed.

daisypond Tue 12-Jun-18 20:36:24

Life - yep, I'm probably overthinking it!

Liloslilo Tue 12-Jun-18 20:41:28

Daisy would you really think my son was preferred over my daughter because he has two middle names? Not being aggy at all it’s an observation that worries me.
I really just don’t know what to do. Haven’t mentioned it to anyone and won’t until baby is born when final decision is made but I’m worried I’m overthinking it now.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 12-Jun-18 20:47:48

I can’t believe that I gave details about myself and my Db and forgot my own dc! Just underlines how little it matters.

Ds1 has one middle name. He has lots of syllables on each name and it seemed a mouthful.

Ds3 has two middle names. He has a really short first name so I wanted to compensate with a few initials 😀

Ds3 has two middle names. DH wanted one, I wanted another so we gave him both.

The dses just don’t realise.. I would bet my life they would never have considered it, they are now late teens.

It is not an issue OP.

ZacharySwan Tue 12-Jun-18 20:49:39

My brother has 2 middle names, because it’s traditional in my dad’s family. My sisters and I have 1 each. I have always felt that it shows, not exactly favouritism, but a nod to the sort of institutionalised sexism families should try not to display. And more simply, as a child, I wondered why I wasn’t important enough to have a tradition. I wouldn’t do it to my kids.

freakinbananaspiders Tue 12-Jun-18 21:11:29

Can you hyphenate the middle names? John-Paul for example. Not something I would usually suggest but might be a way around it?

DramaAlpaca Tue 12-Jun-18 21:16:23

I know I'm projecting, but I thought as a child that my sibling was the preferred one because he has two middle names & I have one. No matter that his is a hideous old family name. I was scrupulously fair with my own DC, as was my sibling.

Swtp Tue 12-Jun-18 21:18:21

I wouldnt worry about it tbh. I also have 2 middle names and all my brothers have 1.

MeyYael Tue 12-Jun-18 21:49:02

My sister has too middle names. I don't.

It has never bothered me.

You could simply ask your DD whether she wants a second middle name. (If she's old enough...)

Or just give her a 2nd middle name (if she's still really little...)

MeyYael Tue 12-Jun-18 21:54:07

And more simply, as a child, I wondered why I wasn’t important enough to have a tradition.

I didn't consider that.

I'll take it back: don't do it, OP. Or give your DD the name if your... favourite grandmother (if she's still little)?

My sister and I (both female, so no sexism aspect...) Both had traditional first names. And my mother "simply" chucked in a second middle name when my dSis was born... (It was apparently rather spontaneous...)

It didn't feel weird or unfair to me, tbh.

Maybe because my first name is much longer than my sister's? ;)

FairyFantastic Tue 12-Jun-18 21:54:44

I have one middle name. Brother has two middle names. I haven't disowned my parents. My brother and I are not mortal enemies.

You're overthinking OP. Congratulations on the baby x

babyboots Tue 12-Jun-18 22:02:20

Overthinking- don't worry, the child won't reading anything into the number of middle names they have! Dd1 has two- both our grandmothers, and Dd2 has just one- the name of a place very special to us. So both have special names for special reasons...

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