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Changing baby girl name

(28 Posts)
CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 11:59:28


New to this but don’t know where else to seek advice.

In short I’d like to change my little girl’s name - she’s 14 months. I had a traumatic experience when she was a few weeks old which meant we had to name her as she was in hospital. I’ve never been completely keen since.

I’ve seriously considered changing her name when she was 4 months and again at 10 months but was talked out of it both times. I can get quite sad about her name and previously put it down to possible PND. But now I think I just don’t like it or it’s just not her.

My main reason for not changing is my 3 year old son as he effectively named her when he heard us test out the name she has. I don’t want to confuse him. But I now feel I may confuse her if I leave it any longer.

Do you know anyone who has changed names? Or have you changed your child’s name?

Any advice would be great - thank you x

TatianaLarina Fri 01-Jun-18 12:12:18

I know someone who changed their child’s name when he was small, it was fine.

Your son can call her what he likes, I don’t think that matters.

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 12:21:50

Thank you - do you know how old he was? you don’t think 14 months is too old?

Unlike her brother at this age she’s not ‘talking’ yet - but maybe that’s no indicator at all if it will affect her (which I’ve read in a couple of articles the longer you leave it the more chance of it affecting your child) x

MrsMrsMrsMrs Fri 01-Jun-18 12:26:09

Go for it. People do it all the time and it makes an interesting story to tell when she's older.

But if you do, do it with conviction and a 'that's her name now, no discussion' type attitude to avoid all the "Ohhh why did you do that? 'Old name' is such a lovely name" comments.

MrsMrsMrsMrs Fri 01-Jun-18 12:27:30

I know two boys the same age as me, different areas who's parents both changed their names to less popular ones when they started school as they were one of 2/3 in the class.

Enidblyton1 Fri 01-Jun-18 12:28:13

Do you have another name in mind? And is it at all similar to her existing name?
I know a few people who've had nicknames given to them throughout their childhood, which have then stuck in later life. So the name they use in every day life is completely different to the one on official documents. Perhaps you could try calling her by a different name and see if it sticks?
You never know, you might find yourself gravitating back to the original name anyway.

Insponeeded Fri 01-Jun-18 12:35:26

My daughter is the same age and she responds to her name. However, if I started to call her by another name I guess it wouldn’t take her long to respond to that. Do you have a name in mind? If not you might find the ‘new’ name doesn’t feel right either. Does her current name have a diminutive that you like? Or how about a middle name?

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 12:38:45

Thank you for your encouragement. It’s something that has caused me such great upset over the last year (as I kept thinking I’d failed her or looking at her and not knowing who she was or referring to her by her actual name as little as possible (just nicknames) - again think this was PND). But it was all based on a true feeling of it not being her name.

And definitely good advice - having been here twice before, if we do it it’ll be with absolute conviction. I think I’ve cared too much what people we know will say in past xx

MiggeldyHiggins Fri 01-Jun-18 12:41:59

I wouldn't, personally. I would feel that the child has a name, knows herself by that name, its her identity. I would feel that its far too late.

(as for pp above saying people changed kids names when they started school, thats appalling).

You can't change a birth cert after 12 months anyway, you have to do a deed poll.

SexyManatee Fri 01-Jun-18 12:44:40

OP, do you know what you'd call her if you did change it?

There's a big difference between just wanting to change it and knowing what her name should be, iyswim.

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 12:54:20

Thank you all for your comments - much appreciated.

She does seem to respond to her current name but we’ve always called her lots of nicknames and she responds to those too - so hoping it would it make it easier.

I do have a new name yes - it was a choice between this name and the name she has (obviously I wish I’d just chosen the other!). Her middle names I like but I tried one of them at 4 months for a few days and it didn’t suit her.

Her current name and new name both begin with the same letter and have 2 syllables so not completely dissimilar. Both names are shortened versions of name.

The name I want I’ve actually said to her quite a lot when just the two of us 💕

JaneDoDo Fri 01-Jun-18 12:54:52

As others have said, do you have a name in mind? If you’re not totally in love with another name I wouldn’t, I would find a nickname that you’re happy with instead.

JaneDoDo Fri 01-Jun-18 12:55:58

Just seen your update OP. Are they shortenings of the same name?

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 12:57:10

Sorry yes that wasn’t clear - both shortenings of different names x

JaneDoDo Fri 01-Jun-18 12:59:44

Oh that’s a shame-Would have been problem solved if they were the same name!lol

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 13:01:28

Absolutely! Lol x

JaneDoDo Fri 01-Jun-18 13:07:53

It sounds to me like you have your heart set on her new name. What does your partner think? I would test it for a good few weeks before making the change permanent.
Would you be able to share the names or do you think it will be too outing? Just to see if they have a common diminutive (for example if the names are Delia and Doris you could call her Dee) not sure if my point makes sense there or not, lack of sleep lol

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 13:23:39

He is happy to change it now as he understands how much it has upset me - and I’ve given it long enough to try. My mum is supportive too - and my dad (though a little reluctantly).

Your point completely makes sense - though not sure it would work. Both names begin with the same vowel but sound different (e.g. Amy vs Abbie). They both end with the ‘eee’ sound (like Amy/Abbie) if that helps xx

TatianaLarina Fri 01-Jun-18 14:23:35

To answer your question it was when he started nursery school. They’d given him a name that they only called him the short version of. By that point it became clear that he would be always known by his long name officially and they didn’t like it. So they changed it.

My grandmother also changed her name when she started junior school as there were 3 other Violets in her class.

CutGrassScent Fri 01-Jun-18 14:36:41

That’s really helpful - thank you TatianaLarina x

FASH84 Sat 02-Jun-18 12:23:45

Keep her current name as a middle name, lots of people are called by their middle names so it won't matter if DS still uses it, it'll just be a nickname

KellyMarieTunstall2 Sat 02-Jun-18 12:28:05

Change it. If it makes you feel better, happy and more settled then do it without question.

Louellah Sun 03-Jun-18 08:17:18

I had my name changed at 18 months when I went to nursery. It was changed to my middle name as there were 6 other people in my class with my first name! My parents didn't quite realise how popular it would be. Didn't hurt me one bit. I don't even remember it being changed and my first name sounds weird to me now. Was never changed legally

sonnyboo Sun 03-Jun-18 22:43:54

Personally I think 14 months is quite old to change your dd's name.

Flowermummy9 Mon 04-Jun-18 21:44:27

Just wanted to let you know you’re not the only one going through this, and it’s comforting to me to know I’m not the only one too. After a horrific 36 hour labour I let my husband choose a name off our shortlist, preoccupied with our darling daughter going through jaundice, awful colic from reflux and a severe tongue tie needed an operation. The name just never seemed to fit her and after 12 months of dithering I changed it on the last day I could st the registry office but had waited so long I’m finding it hard to get used to and am still using her nickname. It’s awful to be in limbo. My main worry now is that we’ll have to go through deed poll as we’ve already changed it the one time they allow you to. Is that what you’re doing? Love and hugs xx

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