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TTC but already clashing when choosing a name...

(26 Posts)
Curlymissp Thu 11-Jan-18 13:47:42

My partner and I are soon to ttc (after this period is over). I have one question... how on earth do you deal with the arguments over baby names! We are clashing already.

I like Hunter/Cassius for a boy and Ophelia/Arizona for a girl.

He likes Ajax (cleaning product and football team...) and Kelsey...

How on earth do you find a name you both like when you like such different things! I feel like our baby is going to be called baby#1.

How did you decide on your names? Did they just click?

Thanks in advance smile

MikeUniformMike Thu 11-Jan-18 13:49:23

I don't think you are suited to having a baby together. Have you thought of getting a dog instead?

Curlymissp Thu 11-Jan-18 13:52:33

We actually have a hamster called Hammy. Nope, didn’t agree to that one either!

WazFlimFlam Thu 11-Jan-18 13:53:36

Wait until you are pregnant and emotionally blackmail him into your choices.

DH and I have only just started TTC this month and have already chosen names. I think it would have been more fun to have waited a bit!!

Curlymissp Thu 11-Jan-18 13:54:43

Haha! Blackmail is my last resort. But I’ll definitely think about it wink

Thank you!

MikeUniformMike Thu 11-Jan-18 13:56:27

FWIW, your names are better than his. Ajax, honestly! Everyone knows that MNers favour Method.

MotherCupboard Thu 11-Jan-18 14:17:39

To be honest all those names are terrible. But wait till you're actually pregnant and you'll think of all sorts that your hormones tell you is a great idea when ... it's not. Even if you "choose" now you'll probably change your mind when the time comes to name an actual baby.

Wolfiefan Thu 11-Jan-18 14:18:33

Jeez. Hunter and Ajax? Get another hamster.

MammieBear Thu 11-Jan-18 14:55:45

How about you have some fun with your different tastes, you write down your top ten and he puts in his then put them in a jar shake it up and take turns to pick them out. When you know a name is right you just know and sometimes compromising is the best policy, for example you pick first he picks second name or middle?

Names like Ajax and Hunter are...

LRL2017 Thu 11-Jan-18 15:02:15

Somebody said wait a few days post pregnancy, when you are hormonal, tired and crying you will get your own way!!! Luckily we managed to agree on a name when I was six months pregnant and it stuck smile

Curlymissp Thu 11-Jan-18 16:20:58

They’re only terrible in your opinion. Thanks for answering anyhow.

Curlymissp Thu 11-Jan-18 16:22:18

Wolfiefan not really constructive is it. You’d think I posted asking for opinions on names!

TonicAndTonic Thu 11-Jan-18 16:28:46

We did our first serious discussion of names at week 38 of pregnancy. I find the time pressure focuses the mind! The only rule we gave is that neither of us has to put up with a baby name we loathe. If one of us properly hates it, we move on to the next suggestion!

MotherCupboard Thu 11-Jan-18 16:49:06

Ok advice ... its completely pointless to try and agree a name until you're actually pregnant.

Vicks30 Thu 11-Jan-18 16:52:45

I’m probably gonna sound like a right bitch, but the way I see it is I’m the one carrying the baby for 9 months so I get final say. Bf didn’t get a choice with my son as I’ve had that name in my mind since I was 15, my daughters name was chosen by me putting my favourite girls names on a list and my bf chose the name he liked best. Tbh he wasn’t fussed he was just super excited about becoming a dad and as long as they had his surname he didn’t care. As his surname is Swiss and rather awkward I had trouble finding names I loved that didn’t clash with it. Luckily my sons name works really well with it otherwise would have had to have my surname.

PemberleyP Thu 11-Jan-18 17:41:16

I don’t think you’re that far apart actually. Cassius and Ajax both macho, mythological names. Kelsey, Hunter and Arizona all feel modern/trendy. You’ll find something!

SuperBeagle Thu 11-Jan-18 21:05:46

Honestly, the only name I'd consider nice of the bunch is Ophelia.

Hunter, Ajax, Kelsey and Arizona are all dreadful.

But drop the name conversation until you're actually having a baby. At the moment, there's no pressure to agree (and no reason).

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag Fri 12-Jan-18 15:52:09

Ophelia and Cassius are so lovely. All the others are horrendous in my personal opinion. Stick to these two and do not budge! These are my orders wink.

sashenka Fri 12-Jan-18 16:06:30

Ophelia and Cassius are some of my absolute favourite names. The others..... not so much (to put it lightly!!)

Rtmhwales Sat 13-Jan-18 05:15:02

I love these conversations. Such a cultural divide! All of those names, with the exception of Ophelia, are very normal American names.
I’m actually a grown (american) woman called Hunter and from Arizona so I love both of them! They didn’t like my name in the UK though. Whereas us Americans find names like Harry, Archie, Arthur absolutely horrific sounding.

Cavender Sat 13-Jan-18 05:51:27

I’m a little appalled at people suggesting manipulating your partner into a name of your choice.

Successful means you have to communicate well and work together as a team.

You need to find a name you both like, each of you has to have equal veto.

I know a woman who manipulated her DP into her chosen name in the delivery room. He’s still quietly resentful and hurt 8 years on. That’s not a great way for your child to start life.

There are thousands of great names, you’ll find something you both like if you work at it.

Cavender Sat 13-Jan-18 05:52:10

Oops “Successful parenting” that should say...

mrsprefect Sat 13-Jan-18 09:48:26

We were the same, miles apart in taste. My husband likes American names too, whereas I wanted something with a literary twist (love Ophelia and Cassius!) It was fun, gave us hours of conversation all through the pregnancy and eventually we found a name that worked for both of us. We didn't tell anyone else and comments have been very positive but I know some people have been a bit hmm but have stayed quiet since the name was already decided. So my advice is to talk and talk and talk to each other but tell no one else (especially MN wink)

XxMagpiexX Sat 13-Jan-18 11:42:37

I think it's disgusting that some people are saying not to even think about names because you're not yet pregnant? As if you're not in the "mummy club" you can just tell they are the types that hang around the school gates together whispering about the other mums 🖕you're actively trying to conceive so squabble away with names you have plenty of time to decide on the perfect one! Good luck and hope you're not trying to long ❤

littlerobyn Sat 13-Jan-18 13:39:09

God some people are complete arsed!!! Ttc is hard and draining the only thing keeping us going was the excitement of discussing names. Ignore all the stupid comments op!
It's something that you just need to both try and compromise on, good practice for when little one arrives and you may have slightly different opinions on things smile good luck ttc and I hope you manage to agree on a name you both love!!

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