Talk

Advanced search

I think I want to change DD's name...

(167 Posts)
AutumnName Mon 28-Aug-17 20:11:17

DD was born on Halloween (2016) and I named her Autumn. I really like the look of it and the sound of it in my head. Since using it as a name, it doesn't seem to work as well as it did in my head? Lots of people don't get it. My mum actually makes jokes about it - "I can't wait to see my grandaughter who hasn't got a proper name" or she directly speaks to her and says "you might as well have been named 'Season'". No one else really says anything, but I feel like they think the same. I'm just really close to my mum, so she probably feels like she can say it.

sadsadsad

user1468783978 Thu 31-Aug-17 12:41:41

It's a beautiful name!! Don't be swayed by what others think, go with what you love, she's your child. My daughter is called Autumn Skye, my husband & I both love it, beautiful name for a beautiful girl! We don't care what anyone else thinks about it 😊

LaineyMomma Sat 02-Sep-17 01:17:02

Tell your Mum that if she doesn't immediately stop the "jokes" about your child's name it will be next Autumn before she sees her again.

emilybrontescorset Sat 02-Sep-17 09:53:28

I know one Autumn and the name really suits her.
I think it's nice.
Your mum had her chance to name her DD. Perhaps you aren't too keen on the he name she chose for you.
If you like it ignore your mum.

Paperkut Sat 02-Sep-17 11:04:04

My name was changed when I was 9 months old. I am 53 and still feel like I'm lying when I introduce myself or say my name. I didn't know my name had been changed until I was in my 30s. Please don't change your daughter's name.

JennyFeather Sat 02-Sep-17 13:11:49

Hi @AutumnName,
I agree with all the other posters who have said it's a wonderful name. It has a timeless feel to it!
I think the question you need to ask is not what your DD's name should be - it's how you deal with your mum's behaviour. Perhaps there is a chance you are feeling sensitive but it seems more likely that your mother is manipulative towards you. The fact that she carried on making comments when you were in tears and knew you were upset is totally unacceptable. Without knowing more about your relationship, it's hard to advise, but perhaps this behaviour is so common that you think it is normal? It sounds like its undermining your confidence with other people too, although I appreciate it's hard not to care what others think. But, whatever name you choose, some people won't be keen.
Perhaps she thinks women called April, May and June should be called 'Month'. People have been called after things since time immemorial, so she just sounds silly and ignorant with her comments! Why is she fixated on Matilda and why does she think she think she can control you like this?
If it's gentle teasing in a friendly way, that's one thing (it's hard to know how these things are said when you read them in black and white). But... it's really affecting you and your mum should see that and want to stop. You are her daughter, why would she want to hurt you? My mum would be mortified if she thought she had hurt me...she only wants happiness and she feels my pain as if it were her own. Most mothers would say the same of their children.
If you think you are being over-sensitive, perhaps consider if you may have PND and if there is anywhere you can seek support.
I hope you've taken away positives from all the lovely PPs who have reassured you. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do about your DD's name.
flowers flowers flowers

Summertime57 Wed 06-Sep-17 07:48:15

My name is Summer. I love my name. I know that one of my grandmothers werent keen on it to start with either but she thinks its lovely now. Sure I get the 'do you change your name when the seasons change?' And the 'is it hot in here. Oh no it must be because summer's here' but all in all I love having a name based on such a beautiful force of nature. Forget about those who try to make you feel bad or doubt yourself. If you like it, stick with it. I have also always loved the name autumn. I think you should sick with it. It's a beautiful name and has so much meaning behind it. Your daughter is going to be an awesome force of nature with a lovely fitting name. smile

Schvitzing Wed 06-Sep-17 09:23:44

It's a lovely name. I know a Summer and a Winter and a Verna (means spring apparently) Shame your mum isn't being so lovely.

Frazzled2207 Wed 06-Sep-17 09:31:57

I like it. Don't change it just because of your mum. My mum hates my ds2's name, she's gradually accepted it though I know still hates it.

2014newme Wed 06-Sep-17 09:32:59

Yes change it.
But your mum is rude!

FizzyGreenWater Wed 06-Sep-17 18:47:10

Your mum is a nasty and quite sneaky piece of work. Very close? No, you aren't - she's just a manipulative bitch.

One of the best and least confrontational ways to start dealing with this - start avoiding her. Make excuses. Have plans. All the time, until she starts asking what is wrong.

Then, a big sigh - 'I'm sorry, Mum, I just find it really hard with the drip drip drip about Autumn's name. It makes me not want us to spend any more time with you than we have to. It's going to start affecting her too and I think it's probably easier to just see less of her, maybe you can keep it in a bit then. I'd rather that than her start being sad that her granny hates her name and tries to hint that she should be someone else. She's only going to start resenting you anyway, or worse still just think you're batty - no-one else has an issue with her name and even if they did they wouldn't be so rude as to harp on about it. So let's just make the relationship a little more now and then. Easier on all of us'

She will CRAP herself - and hopefully dhut the fuck up.

However, distance yourself anyway. She's a wolf in mum's clothing.

arumberg Thu 07-Sep-17 06:12:47

Hey there,

My mother found a story that was written about your post and shared it with me. I wanted to reach out and share some experience.

My name is Autumn. I wasn't born in the fall. My cousin had a friend around the time my mom was pregnant whose name was Autumn and my mom decided she liked it. People ask me all the time "Autumn? Like the season?" or even sometimes I have to explain it that way (I live abroad currently so it actually helps to associate it with the season if they don't understand my pronunciation). I get jokes constantly, like "Can I call you Fall?" or "Do you have a sister named Summer?" People spell my name wrong. ALL. THE. TIME. Like, seriously...you learned how to spell it in 2nd grade. It's not spelled "Atom" or "Adum", and no, my name isn't "Adam". And yes, there's an 'n' at the end. (I even had a woman tell me once while I was working retail - I had a nametag - that she named her daughter Autumn as well, but she spelled it without the 'n'. Holy crap did that make my blood boil.) I even had a Brit ask me why Americans bother to name their kids Autumn when we don't even use the word to talk about the season.

Basically, I hear all kinds of jokes and comments about my name. The kind of stuff your mother might worry about. But I wouldn't change my name for the world.

Some people are asshats. But I guarantee that most of the people who are saying "Like the season?" are only saying that because they've never heard the name as a proper name before. That, or they don't hear it often enough for them to associate it as a proper name. It's most likely not because they think it's stupid. And if they do think it's stupid, fuck them.

I love my name because it's unique. I would even go as far as to say I am proud of it. I don't want to be just another Jessica or Brittany. I was heartbroken when my SIL decided to name her daughter Emma. It was the number one female baby name for that year and a couple years prior. But I also appreciate it because it IS a proper name. It's not some weird shit that parents want to make up for their kid to be different, whether it be weird spellings like Hayleigh or Ashleigh, or just things that were never proper names before, like Paisley or Apple. And even though it's a rather new name as far as names go (coming around in the 1970s), it's gaining popularity according to some baby-naming websites I've had a look at. And while I never hope it becomes an overly popular name, it would be nice to have my name readily available on gift shop merchandise (haha).

I hope you don't change your daughter's name. I may be biased, but I think you made a good choice. I hope you can ignore your mother's terrible opinion of your daughter's name, and maybe even put her in her place about being so rude and disrespectful of your choice. But please don't let her persuade you to change your mind.

I probably won't come back to this website again, but if you want to reach out, you can email me at autumn.umberger@yahoo.com

Good luck,

Autumn

liquidrevolution Thu 07-Sep-17 16:39:29

Autumn is a lovely name. I think of the girl at the end of 500 days of Summer when I hear it. Makes more sens to me than many of the other names you hear nowadays. I sadly have a complicated surname so we purposely kept it simple for DD. Shes July born and I would have liked Summer although Autumn is my favourite season

Your 'D'mother is a twat. If she is saying things like this to your DD now what happens when your DD can understand her? She won't stop. You can't change it she will gloat too much!

Longdistance Thu 07-Sep-17 16:41:57

I like the name Autumn.

Maybe you can change your mother instead? grin
Or perhaps retort 'is it witching hour mother?'

liquidrevolution Thu 07-Sep-17 17:24:06

Another thought.

Tell your mother you are changing it to Pumpkin. She'll soon start to like Autumn.

AutumnLeaves79 Thu 07-Sep-17 22:01:25

As a 37 year old woman who's name is Autumn, I can say firsthand that it is a unique and wonderful name. I am complimented on it frequently. I was due on the first day of Fall and my mother thought it was an appropriate name for her first born little girl. There will always be those that make fun of a name. It happens with almost every name out there! Kids can be cruel, adults can be even worse. Of course she'll hear things like "Did you have a nice Fall?" or "Aren't you a season?" But she'll also hear things like "How pretty!" and "That's my favorite season!" The name is unique and for me it made me feel special, it was MY name. Autumn is a beautiful name, please please please do not change it smile

Birthmommy Thu 07-Sep-17 22:23:33

Okay how do people not get the name autumn? Yes, like the season. It's the best name.. I used to name my baby dolls autumn rose. So. Like even as a child I liked that name and your daughter will love it.

pear123 Fri 08-Sep-17 10:31:47

I Never thought of the name Autumn as unusual. I thought it was quiet a popular name actually, like April.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »