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I think I want to change DD's name...

(167 Posts)
AutumnName Mon 28-Aug-17 20:11:17

DD was born on Halloween (2016) and I named her Autumn. I really like the look of it and the sound of it in my head. Since using it as a name, it doesn't seem to work as well as it did in my head? Lots of people don't get it. My mum actually makes jokes about it - "I can't wait to see my grandaughter who hasn't got a proper name" or she directly speaks to her and says "you might as well have been named 'Season'". No one else really says anything, but I feel like they think the same. I'm just really close to my mum, so she probably feels like she can say it.


Lillygreen Mon 28-Aug-17 20:25:11

It's an unusual name, but I like it. Your mum's probably not come across it before (although I think its becoming popular too!)

When we told my dad my son's name he laughed as he thought it was from a TV show like Game of Thrones. (It's definitely not, it's just a name he hadn't come across)

Mammadragon Mon 28-Aug-17 20:25:39

It's a beautiful name! My friends baby is called Winter and I think it's lovely. Please stick with it! When babies are little it's quite often hard to associate their names with the tiny little human you are seeing. She will grow into her name (and ignore your bloody mother-or tell her you are finding her comments hurtful!-that or start making fun of her name🙈)

Summerswallow Mon 28-Aug-17 20:25:55

Your mum is poisoning the name for you and you need to decide whether you want to tell her to shut up and reclaim the name again or go for another name, or preferably both. I think what she's done is awful.

LonginesPrime Mon 28-Aug-17 20:27:04

whenever I say her name, I normally get a look and a "Autumn? Like the season?"

But lots of people have that with all sorts of names - people will only ask once as then they know they've heard it right and know what to call your DD. It sounds like your mother's nastiness has made you paranoid and ashamed of the name you chose, and that you're reading too much negativity into other people's reactions.

I think it's a lovely name - there was an older girl in my music school when I was a kid called Autumn and she was very nice and popular, so it has positive connotations for me.

And if it makes you feel any better, my mother always objected to my younger DD's name - she went through years of calling my DD by the name she preferred, and even sometimes does it now still (DD is 13..).

It's not her choice, OP, it's yours - change it if you want to, but not just for your DM.

WhispersOfWickedness Mon 28-Aug-17 20:27:49

It's a lovely name, don't change it if you don't want to!
Your mum is being incredibly rude sad

em0290 Mon 28-Aug-17 20:28:18

As long as you love it and feel like it suits your DD, go for it! Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I personally think it's a very cool name!

MalcomTuckerInSpace Mon 28-Aug-17 20:28:26

Autumn is lovely. I quite wanted to use it but DH would never have agreed!

If your mum doesn't like it then that is her problem. Would she refuse to use the name of a work colleague, doctor, hairdresser or whoever whose name she didn't like in the same way she's refusing to use your daughters? Even if she's a baby she deserves that your mum respects what she's actually called.

MrsJoyOdell Mon 28-Aug-17 20:30:00

My DM hates my DD's full name (she goes by a shortening 90% of the time, her choice) but I couldn't give less shits if I tried. I adore her name, DH does too and most importantly, DD does. Your mum is being a bitch. Most people aren't negative about others' name choices.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Mon 28-Aug-17 20:31:23

I'd change it to 'Fuckoffmotherandmindyourownbusoness

Autumn is a lovely name

Ummmmgogo Mon 28-Aug-17 20:31:25

don't change it it's a lovely name. I think your mum is joking with you to be honest.

withlotsoflove Mon 28-Aug-17 20:31:30

Very cute name ,very popular and understood in the states !

ChocolateDinosaur Mon 28-Aug-17 20:31:39

If Summer and Winter are acceptable as names then why not Autumn? Do you need to have a word with your mum about how this undermines you?

Biscuitsneeded Mon 28-Aug-17 20:32:50

It's her name! You chose it for her! Don't change it now because your mum is being a twat. If she marries a Mr Winter she can go by her own surname and not take his (reminder to all that we are in the 21st century). I'm not usually a fan of 'new' names but actually I think Autumn is quite a sophisticated and pretty name - also I taught one who was a thoroughly nice kid, but that's by the by - and more importantly your daughter is nearly 10 months old and definitely knows her name! Tell your mother that her name is Autumn, she (your mum) got to choose your name and now it's your turn to name your own child and you would appreciate no further comment.

Mayhemmumma Mon 28-Aug-17 20:33:08

I had a similar wobble. Only solution is OWN it, say it loud and proud and use it in conversation rather than saying she or baby.

Autumn is a lovely not unusual name.

Your mum is unpleasant and should be ashamed.

MrsExpo Mon 28-Aug-17 20:33:26

What would she have you change it to? Has she suggested anything? I used to work with a girl called October because that was when she was born (she had a sister called April for the same reason) .... if you like Autumn, then keep it. If you don't, then change it. But make it your decision, not hers.

PandorasXbox Mon 28-Aug-17 20:34:10

I like it OP. It's unusual and feminine.
Please tell your mother to shut up talking about DD's name like that immediately. It's not fair on you or DD.

Hopefully then you'll gain more confidence surrounding your DD's name.

littlebird7 Mon 28-Aug-17 20:34:37

My dd is called Autumn and I am constantly complimented on her name, and have been since she was born. My dd loves her name and she is now 8yrs old and still loves it. This isn't about your daughters name but about the insipid relationship you have with your mother, she would not approve of any name. She is controlling you with criticism and you would do well up distance yourself

CrowChe Mon 28-Aug-17 20:35:54

I like it. Your mother should be grateful you didn't call her Hally, short for Halloween.

Katmeifyoucan Mon 28-Aug-17 20:36:45

Autumn is a lovely name. Beautiful and strong.

TopKittyKat Mon 28-Aug-17 20:37:43

I love the name Autumn. It's a very pretty name.

AutumnName Mon 28-Aug-17 20:38:31

Thanks all. My mum really isn't joking. She has wanted her to be Matilda for years. Matthew for a boy...

I often hear her say "you'd like to be a little Tilly wouldn't you?"

I just don't know how to stop it, I've cried in front of her about it and she says she'll be crying many more tears when she goes to school sadhmmshock I love my mum, but I just don't know how to get past this.

RandomUsernameHere Mon 28-Aug-17 20:39:47

Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan's baby daughter is called Autumn so it's pretty likely the name will gain in popularity now, if you're worried about it being unusual. I think it's a lovely name though.

CrowChe Mon 28-Aug-17 20:40:00

OP, ask your mum who chose your name for you, was it her or her mother? If it was her, she's had her chance, so she can drop it now.

halesie Mon 28-Aug-17 20:43:05

My DN (teenager) has the same name. I'm sure BIL & SIL will have had some similar comments to you but they love it and so does DN (as do we). Her little sister has an unusual name and the two go together perfectly smile

Agree with PPs - if you love the name and think it suits your DD stick with it. If you're not sure you could change it.

When I told my aunt DS1's full name she complained it was a bit of a mouthful. It has exactly the same number of syllables as hers... some families are just annoying like that 😕

Summerswallow Mon 28-Aug-17 20:44:04

Matilda is not a better name than Autumn, it's a different one.

I'm sorry but I think you need to find your own voice as a mum and stick up for your daughter, and your choice of name. Otherwise I have a feeling your mum is going to be deciding and controlling a lot more than just her name in years to come.

Perhaps show her this thread, then she can see how many people think she's in the wrong.

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