'our' name just been used by friend 😞

[Turneeps]

We have had a favourite girl's name for years. Never told anyone else this name. My friend (friends since uni, she lives in a different city now but we are still great friends, see each other a few times a year). Well she had her baby yesterday and used our name.
Does this mean we have to choose a new name for our baby due in a month?? Don't want to use it if it will be awkward. ???

[NormaSmuff]

no, just go ahead and use it, it really wont matter

[CassandraAusten]

I agree, just use the name!

[SmallBee]

Nope, still use the name. You barely see each other and live far away, it's not like they're going to grow up as best of friends and confuse all the people at their school.

[bigchris]

Just use it

[timeisnotaline]

Just use it.

[flapjackfairy]

No go for it. This happens all the time.
Happened to me. I took a friends name unwittingly. She cried for days and choose another but we dont even see each other anymore (not because of this ) so no issue if both had same name.

[bigchris]

But we do need to know the name

[Floggingmolly]

Use it. They haven't copyrighted it.

[neonrainbow]

Yah just do it. If it was your best friend who you see every day then i wouldn't.

[GrassWillBeGreener]

Agree that you can still use it - and you might consider including a congratulations both for the baby and their taste in names, or something.

[coragreta]

I think it depends on how popular the name is. If it's a classic popular name no one will notice. If it's something rare or unique it might sound like you're copying them or they might be annoyed at you.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Absolutely not ! You must still use your long chosen name. Names do not belong to anyone, plus, she lives in a different city.
OP, a real friend will understand, I'm sure she will. Wear her shoes, what would you say ?

[rollonthesummer]

Use it-but as you haven't told anyone already, I would would tell her now, in an 'huge congratulations and omg, we are going to have babies with the same name, that's been our choice for 10 years' etc

Rather than just using the same name and not saying anything.

[berkshyre]

I would also contact the friend and say how amazed you are that they chose the name you've had in mind, and express delight that your children will share a name.

If you don't say so in advance then it'll be weird.

[MelinaMercury]

I'd use it but make a joke of the fact that you had been planning to use the same name rather than just announcing the name to her later on.

[BertrandRussell]

This is a wierd thing on Mumsnet. The view is always that your child should be the only person on the planet with a particular name, until someone close to you uses a name you want, in which case it's perfectly fine for them to have the same name!

Choose a new name, OP. There are thousands of lovely ones.

[Crisscrosscranky]

I must admit if a close friend, even one living in another city, used a name I liked I wouldn't use it too.

I'm 7 months pregnant and my single, non-pregnant, best friend gave me a list of her favourite names right at the start so I didn't use them - our friendship has survived senior school, university for her and a teenage pregnancy for me, boyfriends, weddings and a long distance friendship while she travelled for 3 years; we'll be damned if a name is going to cause a rift!

[Thingvellir]

I would use the name - you say you've long been planning to so don't see why you should have to pick another one. I'd talk to friend about it now though before the birth/name announcement. You clearly both have equally excellent taste in names

[ThatsWotSheSaid]

Unless it's very unusual I would just use it.

[ElizabethG81]

I'd choose a new name.

[M0stlyBowlingHedgehog]

One of my work friends had her (3rd) a month before I had DC and gave him the name I'd picked - I just thought "well, lots of people have that name, so what?"

By a quirk of luck I then became really good friends with another mum at DS's nursery - she's probably now my closest friend, we take each other's DSs over night when we have work commitments, even have been on a couple of holidays together - and guess what - her DS has the same name as mine. So even if you go down the "my child cannot possibly have the same name as any of my friends'" route, you'll still find later on that your child is one of 3 kids in class with the same name (unless you call them Hephaiston or Lavendula or something similarly unlikely). Children's names are not something you can copyright.

[Popskipiekin]

It's been your favourite for years. If you don't use it, won't you always be jealous of your friend? Slightly different if other daughter was your niece and you'd have cousins who saw each other all the time and had same name, although this still happens and is fine. Friends of ours discovered both first and second names they had chosen for their DD had been "stolen" by mutual acquaintances - they felt a bit copycatish but nobody owns a name. If you remain friends with these people it will just he a fun quirk of the relationship.

[AddictedtoSnickers]

Definitely use it - and let her know beforehand. There were 2 baby girls born in my NCT group on the same day, and both given the same name. It was lovely - they are best friends nearly 7 years on! I don't think it's strange at all - it's not like you are 'copying' her as you had decided on the name ages ago.

[Gallavich]

It's fine to use it if you tell her now.

What's the name?

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

I'd still use it