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Should I change 13 week old's name

(48 Posts)
Lewiscarrera Sun 05-Feb-17 22:47:54

Hi there just wanted some advice / different perspectives on this:

My DS2 is 13 weeks and I agonised over choice of name for six weeks after birth. Long story but ended up going along with a name I wasn't sure about for DS1 and have never really liked DS1's name so put a lot of pressure on myself to get this one "right" and DH was happy for me to choose given the experience with DS1. Had a shortlist of three and even came on these sites to ask for feedback etc
Anyway I chose Jack (other choices : Louis and Oliver) but now regret it and wish I had chosen Oliver (nn olllie) as DS2 looks to me more like an Ollie and brother is Joshua and husband is Julian so feels silly have three J's. Also surname is carrera and (as was pointed out) the "k" at the end of jack seems to flow into the "c" of carrera and it sounds a. It cumbersome.
I registered jack Louis as needed to register something but I haven't really announced it formally to friends just family. Should i go with Oliver?
I want to move on from this now and celebrate him but don't know what is best. I lost sight of my own gut feeling for fear of making a mistake.
If I do change it I fear other people will judge me (some already made it clear they thought it was odd I waited the full 6 weeks to start with), my toddler will get confused not to mention my poor husband who has been very patient and my MIL will be disapproving. Plus I will need to explain change on birth certificate to DS2
If I don't change it I may regret it for years to come as per DS1.
Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated as now need to stop procrastinating and take action if that is what I decide to do.

Moo31 Sun 05-Feb-17 22:57:34

Change it. Hassle and disapproving comments for a few weeks v a lifetime of regret.

Twinkletwinkle4 Sun 05-Feb-17 23:03:09

Definitely change it if your not keen, but make sure your 100% set on Oliver if you do change it so you don't regret it again. Congratulations on your little bundle of joy by the way :-)

Ordinarily Sun 05-Feb-17 23:09:34

Ignore everyone else and decide with your DH what to do. Could you add Oliver as first name and keep the other two as middles?

Lewiscarrera Sun 05-Feb-17 23:11:21

Yes ordinarily that is exactly what I was thinking of doing just add Oliver in front of his existing names. X

ToastieRoastie Sun 05-Feb-17 23:37:21

Change it while he's too young to know. I agree that Jack runs into his surname.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sun 05-Feb-17 23:45:15

Nows the ideal time to change it. Before he gets to know his name.
Oliver Carrera flows much better than Jack Carrera which has too many C sounds.
Don't worry about what others say. Let it go over your head.

DorkusDelonghi Sun 05-Feb-17 23:46:55

I agree, change it!

BurntAroundTheEdges Sun 05-Feb-17 23:54:45

I'm with everyone else, change it now while he is still young. You are obviously not happy and it's easier to have a small amount of hassle now rather than a lifetime of regret.

TheDowagerCuntess Mon 06-Feb-17 00:25:16

Change it if you need to, but then - really - make your peace with it, and put it behind you.

You don't have to have THE perfect name for your DC - there is no perfect name, and besides, whatever name you choose, they may not even like very much, anyway. As long as they have nice names - which they do - they'll be fine.

BroadcastHouse Mon 06-Feb-17 07:38:34

Also agree you should change it. You already know how if feels to regret your first son's name, the small amount of hassle is totally worth it for making sure #2 has the right name for you.
I like Oliver and Jack and think they both sound great with your surname despite the letters running together (think Jack Kerouac!) - so try to go back to your gut feeling with regards to which name you really love most. If it's Oliver then don't think twice about changing it.

sycamore54321 Mon 06-Feb-17 07:51:01

You sound very unsure of yourself and I wouldn't change. I think you just have buyer's remorse and a change won't make you feel any better. You had a shortlist of three, chose what was presumably your favourite for the first name, your second favourite for the second name and now you want to switch to the name that you didn't even like enough when picking two out of three. It seems that you are just really uncertain in your choices and likely to regret a change as much as sticking with it.

For your reasons, if I were told my name had been changed for those, I'd be pretty annoyed. I think the -k C sounds running together sounds fine, a nice strong sound, although that is obviously personal opinion. But you obviously knew the name would sound like this before you chose it, just as you knew your child would share his initials with others in the family. I don't like changing babies names anyway as I think it disrespectful to them - parents have the right to give the baby a name when it doesn't have one, but they don't 'own' the child and so shouldn't chop and change thereafter. I think in your particular case you will never be satisfied - you talk about the perfect name when really there is no such thing and you are seeing unrealistic standards for your expectations.

sycamore54321 Mon 06-Feb-17 07:54:05

Also, what does your husband think? I find completely removing him from the decision making process a bit odd, even if he is doing so to help you. The decision about names should have at least some element of being a joint one.

AuntiePenguin Mon 06-Feb-17 08:03:03

I'd change it. At 13 weeks I think you know whether or not he seems like a jack. Oliver is cool.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Mon 06-Feb-17 10:51:18

I actually like Jack, though I hear what you are saying.
I prefer Louis, how about leaving his initials as they are, (three 'J's), both like Daddy, and using his middle name. It'll also save you the bother of changing it.
Joshua and Louis, sounds good.

BertrandRussell Mon 06-Feb-17 10:54:46

Forgive me for asking, but is there any possibility that you're a bit depressed? It's very easy to focus in on these details because they seem more manageable than "big" feelings. Certainly worth thinking about........

greeeen Mon 06-Feb-17 12:16:05

I like Louis! However, agree you should change it now while he is so small, don't worry what other people say it will be forgotten before you know it!

sycamore54321 Mon 06-Feb-17 13:31:01

Sorry for posting again but I was just running Oliver Carrera through my mind and you have a repetitive "-er" type sound there in three syllables in a row. I'm not sure it gets rid of the cumbersome pronunciation that was your concern.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 06-Feb-17 13:33:29

I think it flows really nicely, Jack is a great name smile

I also agree with Bertrand and was trying to think of a way to word it.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 06-Feb-17 13:34:13

Oliver Carera sounds really awful imo.

xStefx Mon 06-Feb-17 13:36:49

I love the name jack, its a strong classic name. I think it goes nice with Carera too . x

Bluntness100 Mon 06-Feb-17 13:39:46

I think jack Carrera is a lovely name. And it's nice they all have the j initial, although it's going to be difficult as they grow and letters come for mr j carrera to know who they are for. I have it with my daughter who has the same initial as me and need to remember to check the mrs versus the miss or we open each other's mail.

Personally I think uou made the right choice in the first place, but if you're not happy then change it now, and move on, as I think you're just over thinking it.

mouldycheesefan Mon 06-Feb-17 13:42:27

Change it, Jack carerra doesn't sound right it all runs into one word. It's a lovely name though!

steppemum Mon 06-Feb-17 14:46:54

All 3 names are good names. I do think Oliver works better with your surname, but Jack works too.

My name was changed at about 10 days. My parents named me and then when they had me at home they decided I didn't look like name 1 so they changed it to name 2. I actually like the story as it means they really thought I was a name 2 and it mattered to them. So they had to get it changed on my birth certificate.

My neice wasn't named until 6 weeks, I can't say that now, years later, anyone is remotely bothered how long it took.

My only comment is that you must be sure Oliver is the right choice now!

Veterinari Mon 06-Feb-17 20:57:46

I also think too many -er sounds with Oliver - it's a mouthful.

No name will be perfect - sycamore and Bertrand make good points

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