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When you love a name and your DH isn't keen

(18 Posts)
KittyB52 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:11:52

We are expecting our first child in March, and we are beyond thrilled as it has taken us many years to get to this point - we won't be having another.

I have fallen for a couple of names which I think are just perfect (I can imagine our little girl being called either of these names) but DH isn't fussed on them. We've shortlisted a few names that we both like but at the back of my mind are these other names which I really prefer.

I know I'll get over it, but was wondering if anyone else had been in a similar position and managed to successfully 'wean' themselves off the names they loved (see what I did there? grin)?

Ilovecaindingle Wed 11-Jan-17 21:15:20

This is what you do :
You wait til you have gone through the birth- but immediately after - And you say 'oh dearest i really want to call dd /ds xx' and they say through the tears of new fatherhood -' yes dearest wife - anything you want'.....
Job done grin

Outnumb3red Wed 11-Jan-17 21:17:02

Only names i totally disregarded were the names that DH really hated.
Not fussed is workable. I wouldn't rule them out completely

thebakerwithboobs Wed 11-Jan-17 21:23:21

Spot on Caindingle-those names shall be yours!

LoveDeathPrizes Wed 11-Jan-17 21:25:40

I weaned. My husband always said the decision was mine but I couldn't name our daughter without knowing we both loved it. I was really worried I'd always feel like DD2s name was second best as a result but it's perfect.

MazDazzle Wed 11-Jan-17 21:25:50

I did that Ilovecaindingle!

DH wasn't keen on a name I really liked fairly early on. I didn't mention it again until after the birth and got my way grin.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Wed 11-Jan-17 21:26:34

Stick in a breathy "and now that she's here, she definitely looks like a * insert preferred name here *"

KittyB52 Wed 11-Jan-17 21:27:07

I should've pointed out, I won't be the one giving birth - it's a surrogate baby, being carried by our awesome friend. smile

thebakerwithboobs Wed 11-Jan-17 22:54:30

Same theory applies I reckon. You are handed beautiful baby by said awesome friend, you well up, you say 'look how beautiful, all our dreams have come true, hello little insert name here and job's a goodun.

monniemae Wed 11-Jan-17 22:56:19

I did Caindingle's way...

ChristmasSeacow Wed 11-Jan-17 23:38:43

DH did a CainDingle on me with DS's middle name! There was a name he really liked, I wasn't too keen, but in the afterglow of the birth I agreed.

Still don't like it but as I love his first name I am not too bothered.

The technique definitely works though and I don't see why the surrogate thing would stop it. It's the emotion of meeting your child.

What a wonderful friend, btw. Congratulations!

ClaryIsTheBest Thu 12-Jan-17 09:08:59

Depends... whose last name will the LO have? Which side of the family (if any) is honoured with the middle name?

Dolwar Thu 12-Jan-17 09:12:14

It's his baby too. Pick a name you both like.

Staranise123 Thu 12-Jan-17 09:22:22

Shouldn't both parents love the name hmm?

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 12-Jan-17 09:23:56

We found a name we both loved.

MimiSunshine Thu 12-Jan-17 10:36:22

I think the post birth manipulation is horrible. If he's really not keen he has two choices: go with it as he feels he can't say no in such an emotionally charged environment or say no and feel he's ruined the moment. Both potentially lead to lingering resentment.

OP leave the names you love on the table unless he's outright said he can't stand them. They may grow on him and you may decide together that it's the name for your new baby.

Happened that way for us. and congratulations on the soon to arrive little bundle and what a lovely friend you have, I'd like to think I'd do the same for a friend.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Thu 12-Jan-17 14:48:32

Kitty, just wanted to say, lucky, lucky you !
Don't worry about names, just enjoy debating, once you both have your darling baby in your arms, you can decide together.

Sierra259 Thu 12-Jan-17 20:11:45

I also couldn't have gone with a name DH wasn't fussed on. It was important to me that we both agreed fully. Which was fine for DC1, far more frustrating for DC2 confused but we got there in the end!

I went through the baby name book and wrote down all the ones I would have been happy with. DH then got to go through and cross off the ones he didn't want/add any others. I've kept the list to show to DC2 when they're older grin

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