My husband and I have finally agreed on a name we both like. It's been tough! Ha! Each of us seem to know a complete wally with the name that the other person likes and it's hard to shake that association.
The only conflict now is whether we just go with the nickname officially...or the traditional full name which I think sounds really pretentious. If we go for the full name but rarely use it, would he have to be officially registered as that at school etc and called that on the register, school teams etc or could we just register him with the nickname and he'd be known as that? I don't want him to be teased! And then it can be up to him what he does in the future!
We have DD a full name as it's quite a serious, sensible name - good for a professional setting when she grows up.
We always refer to her by her nn. It's slightly jarring when her is called by her full name (e.g. at the doc surgery) but by giving her the options we have afforded her more flexibility to choose how she wants to be addressed when she is an adult/older child.
My parents chose my nickname, put the full version on the bc and I had an argument with the HT in reception who kept calling me this name that wasn't me! He got the register in the end to prove it to me
The official version was only ever used at school, I found it a bit alienating really (they didn't do known as back then) and I dropped it the day I left school. Tbh would have been easier all round to just stick with the nickname. Occasionally it appears on official forms at work and colleagues not in the know wander round trying to find out who this person is that there's a letter for. They're usually quite shocked to find it's me!
As long as it's a normal shortening then I would go with the long version on the BC. Loads of children are Benjamin known as Ben, for example. DD has one of those names and is universally known by the common shortening with no issues.
I would go for the full name- pretty much all schools have a 'known as' or 'preferred name' section when you register and it's on the UCAS form when applying to uni. It just gives him more options later! Dying to know what the name/nn is now...
I have a child with a nickname which is used day to day. We expected to use his birth certificate name but the nickname developed naturally and has nothing to do with his real name (think Christopher and Ace). He answers to both but if you ask him he'll say his name is Ace.
Preschool use Christopher on paperwork like registers and reports, and Ace to address him and label his "artwork" etc. We expect this to continue into school.
So actually I'd give different advice from what I'd have said before my "Ace" came along: children don't know that eg Chris comes from Christopher and Ace doesn't. Nowadays people give their children nicknames without birth certificate names far more than they did when we were babies. If you genuinely think you'll only ever use the short version and you don't particularly like the long version, I'm not sure what you gain by using it.
And after all that you might end up calling him Bear or something and where will your long and short names be then?
I love a long name that can be shortened and neither of my dc are called by their full names.
I have an Alexander James and and Oliver. Daily, called AJ and Ollie.
Ollie was no issue at school - we've never even provided a known as, 'Ollie' was just picked up by teachers and used.
AJ is obviously a completely different name but we've still had no issues. He's down officially as 'Alexander' on the register but we added a known as name. At the Dr's etc, he's inevitably asked 'How are you Alexander' and now happily says to people 'Great thanks, you can call me AJ' himself (age 8).
You don't "register them at school by their nickname," you register them by their formal name and indicate what you want them to be "known as" on another part of the form. Every school I've worked in or my children have attended has been happy to call children by their "known as" name, but you do need their full name on the school's records, especially as they get older and start taking external exams.
The only problems I've ever come across have been when children decide they want to shorten their names, especially to something non-obvious, partway through their school careers. Unless the parents make a point of formally adding the "known as" to their records at that stage, it sometimes ends up that some teachers shorten and some don't, usually depending on how stuffy they are in general.