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Etiquette and bagsied names

(15 Posts)
Wonderflonium Sun 18-Dec-16 12:02:03

A friend at work had a baby in March. She called her Maia. For some reason, I thought she'd called her Mia until recently.

We've got Maja/Maya on our top five. Leaning towards spelling with a y not a j.
Can we name our kid that or is the name bagsied? I feel like my friend will be more flattered than anything but would it be weird?? I am overthinking, aren't I?

MidnightVelvetthe7th Sun 18-Dec-16 12:04:13

Nobody can bagsie a name or a spelling! If you like it, use it!

SoupDragon Sun 18-Dec-16 12:06:05

Whole bagsie/etiquette thing depends entirely on why the name is "bagsied" and by who.

In this case, I think it's absolutely fine, especially as you're planning a different spelling.

Hardshoulder Sun 18-Dec-16 12:07:57

If you thought her baby was called by a different name for nine months, you clearly aren't at all close, so I can't see an issue.

SmallBee Sun 18-Dec-16 12:09:20

You flat out cannot bagsie a name.
Unless your kids are going to grow up together and be around each other all the time I wouldn't worry.
It if was your DSis, SIL or BFF then it might be prudent to be sensitive but for a work friend? I wouldn't sweat it.

WheresTheEvidence Sun 18-Dec-16 12:11:59

Agree with Hardshoulder hmm

Will you be socialising outside of work with her for the next 18 years? Will the children be close - go to the same school? live in the same neighbourhood?

It's not a problem.

Celticlassie Sun 18-Dec-16 12:14:06

I'd only avoid it if you thought the children would be spending a lot of time together. I've half an eye on some of my friends kids' names as they'll not really know one another.

Scribblegirl Sun 18-Dec-16 12:15:40

I wouldn't name a baby after a best friend or immediate family member's baby. If it was the name of someone in the family who had died, I'd run it by the person closest to the deceased.

Other than that, bagsying a name isn't a thing IMO!

Wonderflonium Sun 18-Dec-16 12:23:42

It's possible the children will grow up together. We're both foreigners, married to Danes, get on well and like to have games nights/meet up for coffee. Our kids will definitely know each other.
But yeah, we're hardly Best Friends Forever blush given my obliviousness!

A lot of foreigners leave after a few years here, though, so it might not be an issue for long IYSWIM. And even if they turned out to be long termers and even if we sent our kids to the same school, they'd be in different year groups wouldn't they... Totally massively overthinking this!

Thanks, you guys!

DoItTooJulia Sun 18-Dec-16 12:25:40

Just here to commend on your term 'bagsie' o haven't heard it for years!

1horatio Sun 18-Dec-16 12:25:54

As a fellow foreigner that also has friends like that... I think you can go for it.

It's different with very close friends (the 'best friend forever' kind) and family. But somebody you meet every once in a while? Seems fine imo.

Scribblegirl Sun 18-Dec-16 12:32:43

That's even harder OP, if you're both foreigners married to Danes, I'm guessing you'll be looking for names that could work in either county? So you'll already have fewer options, makes it totally understandable that you'd have a similar name for your DC!

JunebabyT Sun 18-Dec-16 13:01:39

I think it's fine, you're obviously not close.

We have only written off names where they have already been used by our siblings, as we don't want our DC to share names with their cousins who they will hopefully be close to.

ViewBasket Sun 18-Dec-16 13:43:23

Bagsie grin

It's fine.

1. No-one owns a name.
2. There's no sensitive reason why it should be avoided
3. They're not close relatives
4. Maya/Mia/Maya are currently very popular, so of course you will come across other people who've chosen the name.

NennyNooNoo Sun 18-Dec-16 14:16:31

Half Dane here! Maia is nice. I think it's fine if it's a workmate but I wouldn't use the same name if it were close family.
Emma also works well in both languages. Sonia/ Sonja? Maria? Johanna ( pronounced differently)

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