Using DSD's middle name as first name for baby

(100 Posts)
Thomasina76 Wed 16-Nov-16 14:53:00

Only hypothetical but DH and I are TTC and talking about possible baby names. The only girls' names I have ever liked are Emilia and Clara, with Clara being my favourite. Unfortunately, Klara is his 14 year old daughter's middle name so he won't let me use it. I sort of agree but, on the other hand, middle names are used so infrequently that I am not sure how much of a big deal it would be. Her first name is Emma so Emilia is also out. Just means we'll have to go with a name I'm not mad on if it's a girl. Such as shame as I alwasy wanted a girl I could call Clara. DS would have been Clara if he's been a girl.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 16-Nov-16 15:05:56

I think you could use Clara if DSD is happy with it

But I wouldn't use Emelia if his DD is called Emma

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark Wed 16-Nov-16 15:08:13

You can't do this. It'll cause so much I'll will even if dsd says she doesn't mind

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark Wed 16-Nov-16 15:08:39

*ill will

LuckySantangelo1 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:09:22

Oh god no. You'll make the child feel like she's being replaced.

Tiggy78 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:11:10

Or she might be delighted that the new baby is being named after her! Could you suss her out and see how she feels? If she likes the idea then your dh might come round.

Thomasina76 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:11:15

I wouldn't use Emilia either. Just wondered if Clara definitely has to be ruled out. Seems like it does.

DeleteOrDecay Wed 16-Nov-16 15:11:31

It's a bit odd, I personally would keep searching.

neonrainbow Wed 16-Nov-16 15:11:57

I think if she'd be pleased about it then go for it

MidnightVelvetthe7th Wed 16-Nov-16 15:13:58

I had favourite names as well, I had decided on my childrens names when I was a little girl smile unfortunately DH hated them both, & as naming wasn't solely down to me then I had to compromise.

Find a new first name that you like, there are literally millions to choose from & maybe still use Clara as a middle name, that way both children have the same status & you still get to use one of your names.

Anotherdayanotherdollar Wed 16-Nov-16 15:14:58

Worry about it when the time comes?? You might be blessed with boys and think of the time you'll have wasted!
However, I think both Clara and Emilia are beautiful names. Could you use Amelia instead of Emilia? I wouldn't consider Emma and Amelia similar.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 16-Nov-16 15:17:49

No, I don't think so. It either makes one child feel replaced or the other feel like a dodgy second.

Amelia, Emmeline, Amelie, do you want suggestions?

kavvLar Wed 16-Nov-16 15:19:18

What about Cara or Chiara?

Thomasina76 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:23:14

I have searched and searched and all other names are second best. Some are ok but these are the only two I really like. For some reason I don't like "Amelia", only "Emilia." Emmeline is also way too similar to Emma so ruled out. And yes, we could have a boy so it may not be relevant. Just making me wonder as there are so few girls name I like. We do have one other name that we both like but neither of us are mad on so guess we would have to go with that. I can see why it's weird but, on the other hand, how often do middle names really come up? They would be at different schools, have different friends etc.

Thomasina76 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:24:10

Yes, do like Chiara, but DH has ruled it out as too similar to Clara.

Dozer Wed 16-Nov-16 15:27:03

Suggest you should be more flexible and considerate of your DSD, there are loads and loads of other names!

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 16-Nov-16 15:28:22

Find another name you really cannot use Clara at all sorry op but even if dsd was ok with it- it doesn't reflect well on you as a SM

Somerville Wed 16-Nov-16 15:29:55

The point isn't that middle names aren't used on a day to day basis. It's that names are a large part of our identity. DSD's names were chosen for her by her parents and should t be appropriated (even in a slightly different form) for another child of either parent.

Please use one of the other thousands of names out there if you have a baby girl.

BratFarrarsPony Wed 16-Nov-16 15:30:23

NO it would be really nasty.
It took me a long time to forgive my father for using his private nickname for me as a name for my half sister. It was just cuntish.

Ledehe Wed 16-Nov-16 15:31:32

Ah i might be able to help here. I have 2 daughters with names you like

Other names I like

Hannah
Louisa
Sarah
Elena (like Elaine A) Helena might also be an option)
Rosa
Juliet

Also perhaps look at the Top German Baby names, Emma, Emelia, Clara all score top 20 there..might be more inspiration

Thomasina76 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:34:12

Dozer, suggest you read the rest of the post and see that I am being "flexible and considerate" of my DSD by agreeing not to use Clara, despite it being my favourite name. Point of the post is to check that this is the right approach and that there is no flexbility on this as it is indeed my favourite name. Read the first post - says very clearly that I agree with DH not to use the name. Wanted opinions as to whether there is any flexbility, not a lecture thank you, especially when I am clearly stating that I am sacrificing the name I love.

For the record, have read about 20 baby name books and really am not mad on any other names.

Thomasina76 Wed 16-Nov-16 15:35:33

Oh, forgot to say, I also love Eleni but DH as vetoed that as his neice is Elena.

BratFarrarsPony Wed 16-Nov-16 15:38:31

If you want a rreally good baby name book, have a look at the old Testament.
Honestly I find it a bit odd that you are so fixated on names that are so similar to your DSD's - possibly it is subconscious but you need to think about it.
There are literally thousands of other names.

Dozer Wed 16-Nov-16 15:38:56

"Sacrificing the name I love" - dramatic much?

Perhaps you might consider finding out the baby's sex, if you're having a boy there's no need to worry.

Dozer Wed 16-Nov-16 15:39:56

Not using Clara is a given when you have a SD whose middle name it is! Hardly "flexible" to "give it up".

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