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Importance of middle names

15 replies

RosieTheCat · 29/09/2016 17:33

We are registering Dd2 tomorrow she is our last due to health issues Both mine and hers.

Origonally I wanted her middle name to be that of my paternal grandmother who I love dearly, grandmother has been asked if we can use her name and is over the moon. For reference dd1s middle name is from my side.

I also really want my mil's name in there, they have done so much for us seriously life changing things that have helped us and put their dreams on hold we will never be able to repay them and she's just a wonderful person.

The issue is that DP is against two middle names, no idea why even asking him he can't give a reason but he's dead against it. I will be attempting to change his mind tonight but I don't hold out hope.

Middle names don't really get used in normal life unless hyphenated and if I used mil's name I could never make it common knowledge to my side of the family but I really want to use it (she has no idea) so which would you go for?

Would you still use grandmothers name or would you just not say anything and use mil's name and let my side believe we used the original choice

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Portobelly · 29/09/2016 17:44

Put them both in. It's nice to honour both of them.
My husband got first dibs on first name. I went to town in the middle.
Very few people will hear the full name. But it's there. It's part of his story.
I know why I have my name. My son will know why he's been given his.
Same got your daughter.

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passingthrough1 · 29/09/2016 17:44

I wouldn't lie because they may see the birth certificate or your DD's passport one day. I would put both personally.

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MotherDuckSaid · 29/09/2016 20:28

tell him to Shush !
And if he wont budge then it will have to b his mothers name tht gets the chop as its him thts refusing to allow a second name after uve already told ur grandmother.
Remind him how happy his mum would be, y does he not want tht ?
A couple of my children have two middle names
Good luck :)

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crayfish · 29/09/2016 20:33

I've got two middle names and so has DS. I've always really liked it I've got one from each of my grandmothers and I feel like that is really special. My mum didn't want me to have two but my dad insisted and I'm glad he did.

This is no help to you obviously but you are right, they never get used really. Only drawbacks are that sometimes there isn't space to fit my full name on a form and I couldn't really have double-barrelled when I got married, but these are minor things.

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kittykatval · 29/09/2016 20:42

Use two middle names. My oldest DD has a name that is two versions of mine but backwards. Think me being Georgina Rose and she would be Rosie Georgia.

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MissClimpsonsTypingBureau · 29/09/2016 21:30

Nothing wrong with two middle names. Lovely idea to honour both sides.

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tarheelbaby · 29/09/2016 21:47

having two outlandish middle names has been the only thing to compensate for having a totally inconvenient, old fashioned first name, all of which are directly traceable to eccentric ancestors. I made sure to give my DDs two middle names each and they love knowing the bits of family history which go with these names. So don't hold back on the names; they're free after all and a great way to keep family history alive.
DH has no middle name at all, nor do his parents but they gave his brother one - go figure.

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HoratioNightboy · 29/09/2016 22:30

Agree with tarheelbaby that it's a great way to keep family history alive. Also, if your DGM is over the moon about using her name then it would be an unpleasant task to disapppoint her if it doesn't happen. And your DH should be the one to tell her if he's insistent.

A possible solution would be what a friend did when having to choose between two DGM's names: one was Elizabeth and the other Margaret, so she took the first two letters of each and used Elma. Although I'm sure that's a compromise you wouldn't want to make. I'd dig my heels in if I were you.

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RosieTheCat · 30/09/2016 09:04

Ive got 30 minutes till we register dd2 he's still holding out for one Angry

Love the idea of putting the names together but not sure what I could make from Carol and Tina

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DeputyPecksBentBeak · 30/09/2016 10:48

Two definitely, as the have significance. Not that it matters if they do or not. Also, they're both short names, both in terms of spelling and syllables so there's even less of a problem imo. You could have picked one name with more letters and syllables than that. It seems like his only reason is he 'doesn't want to' with no real explanation as to why

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DeputyPecksBentBeak · 30/09/2016 10:49

Just realised you will have already registered her by now (congratulation by the way, sorry!)

Hope you got what you wanted

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ppandj · 30/09/2016 10:58

Argh I'm too late! Was going to say could you have Carolina??

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RosieTheCat · 30/09/2016 13:08

He gave in! I'd been good naturedly pestering him all morning and in the registery office he kept saying no then Last minute as we were asked If we wanted a middle name he said just do want you want Grin

I don't feel too bad having nagged him into it as he's so stubborn if he'd really have cared he wouldn't have given in, plus when we were parking the car he turned it into a joke and I got the feeling he was caving

Mil has no idea and it's unlikely we'll see her today but I really want to tell her now tempted to go into work (we work together) and hand her the birth cert

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RosieTheCat · 30/09/2016 13:09

Oh and dd2s first name is only 3 letters so all together 1 letter more than dd1s name

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Hotlingbling · 30/09/2016 13:15

I have three middle names I hated it and my children don't have any because of it.
Sometimes they do read out all of your names in public and people snigger. Also having to say my full name at the bank if they ask and other places. I have five initials.

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