Choosing a name your mum hates

[broodykg]

Hi all,

So basically from the day we found out we were pregnant my OH has been referring to bump by a boys name which I hated originally but now I love it. Anyway we know that his mum hates it because it was a name my OH's brother considered for their twin boys.

Part of me just thinks she will get used to it but just wondered if anyone else had a similar situation?

We don't actually know is a boy so it is a just in case.

And to be fair she openly says she still doesn't really like one of the names OH's brother chose for their twins!

It's come up in conversations with friends and they all like it (not that we told anyone it was the name we liked) but I also think my mum wouldn't be very keen.

[LunaLoveg00d]

It's not your mum's baby, or your mother in law's baby. Make up your own minds, don't tell anyone before the baby is born, then announce the name.

Job done.

[AgentJ]

My mums hate(d)s two of my four kids names. I give zero fucks, they're not her kids.

[Dozer]

Your decision, pick whatever name you like!

But YaBU to say "we are pregnant". You are pregnant: your partner is not!

[broodykg]

No we definitely would not tell anyone before baby is here as at least then reactions may be reduced and it's too late then anyway haha.

AgentJ love that response!!

[DramaAlpaca]

It's very nice of you to consider your mum's reaction, but don't let her likes & dislikes influence you. Call your baby whatever you like. She'll get used to it.

[eyebrowsonfleek]

Is your mum generally hard to please?

I'd only change the name if the hated name had a good reason like a loved one being murdered by someone with the name.

[broodykg]

Eyebrowsonfleek do you know her? Haha, that's a yes.

[OhFuds]

My mum didn't like 2 of my dc's names. My baby, my choice. I don't really care as it's names I love.

[ohidoliketobe]

IME this is what happens when you discuss names before the baby is born. Everyone has an opinion on names prior to the baby's birth, but of you just present the baby and say 'oh and s/he's called X' no one tends to comment as they're top transfixed on the baby!
Back to your MIL however. She had the opportunity to name a son, twice. This isn't her child. Smile and nod, recite 'you had your chance to name your children'. My nan pulls a face at a lot of names. This is a woman who called one for her children Brian

[chocoLit]

My mum hated the names with have DD1 & DD2 and was very vocal about it TILL she hit used to them.

She passed away two days before DD3 however I'm confident she'd have HATED her names too. Even my aunt said 'you can't call her that' so naturally we did.

None of mine have weird/nonsense names. No pleasing some people. YOUR baby, YOUR choice

[DragonboysMum]

I knew my Nan would hate DS4's name as it was the name of a relative of hers she really hated.

However, she'd been really vile about a name we were going to use and had put me off it because of her nasty comments. So I used the hated name. DP and I love it and decided we couldn't give a damn what she thought. Her reaction when I told her was predictable - she hit the roof. Still makes comments about how much she dislikes it and how could we saddle a sweet baby with such a horrible name every time she sees us.

At the end of the day it's your baby. If you like the name bollocks to what anyone else thinks!

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

I always liked a particular name for a boy but everyone else said they didn't like it. That wouldn't have stopped me. When I met my DP and found out we were pregnant (just to annoy Dozer and myself because I hate this too), I mentioned it and he hated it too. That was the only reason I stopped considering it. We had a DD anyway which was a relief because we could never agree on a boy's name.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Urgh! "And myself because I hate this too" was meant to be crossed out.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

No one liked my DS's name, now lots of people have told me (unprompted) that they now love he's name and it really suites him. He now has a baby second cousin with the same name.

[augustusdecimus]

Why would I care what my mum thinks? She obviously didn't care what I would think when she picked mine!

[ExcellentWorkThereMary]

When I was pregnant with DS1, early days, my mum told us all at a family dinner that a friend of hers had just become a grandparent, and told us the name of the child - everyone round the table except me and DH went "oh God why would you do that to a child" etc, DH and I were very quiet as it was top of our names list. We did indeed use the name and when we announced it, apparently everyone conveniently forgot how much they hated it and told us what a lovely name it is. Ironically it is actually really popular now!
My mother in law actually told me she didn't like DS2's name and she would be using a short version of it instead. I said, I wonder if he will think it strange that you call him something different to everyone else? And left it. She never bothers with us anyway so she rarely has to say his name.

My mum told me that my dad's face "was a picture" when I told him on the phone the name of his third grandchild. He didn't like the name, my mum felt it necessary to tell me he didn't like the name.

I adore all my children's names! They like them too, they've never (yet) encountered teasing or people being mean about their names. Only ever compliments!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Ignore her.

My mum said the name I floated as one of two top contenders was "very boring", when I was pregnant. We did indeed use that name and she denies ever saying it

[Enkopkaffetak]

When ds was born and I announced his name my mothers reaction was " That's HORRIBLE" FFW 11 years and she was visiting and she said " I always liked the name Conrad, its such a strong name"

She got used to it. Would have denied ever saying it was horrible.

I laughed didn't care as Dh and I loved the name and it suits him.

[CarrotVan]

My mum hates my top choice for a girl's name - not her child, not her choice

[minipie]

I told my mum the name we were considering for DD2, she was rather negative about it.

I asked her for some names she likes. I hated all her suggestions! So I decided she has shocking taste and went with the name we were considering anyway

Though as it turns out, we all call her a completely different nickname anyway...

[eyebrowsonfleek]

I think that unusual names can grow on people. I remember thinking about Brooklyn Beckham's name but now I'm used to it, it doesn't give me that kind of reaction any more.
As long as you don't spell creatively or create a new name, most names should be fine. After all, Rose West hasn't stopped Rose being a popular name has it? Our children's generation are used to a more much wider variety of names than us. Our local primary has children called Zeus, Ocean, Wish and Khaleesi and those sorts of names are normal for their classmates.

[DerelictMyBalls]

Who cares what she thinks? She'll get used to the name soon enough when it's the name of one of her favourite people. Ignore!

[FurkinA]

Make up a fake name (Daniel, you can't argue with Daniel) and then say you changed your mind last minute. After you've done the paperwork... They can say what they want then and you can tell them to not be so fucking rude

[Glitterspy]

You can't win with trying to please people on names. My mum suggested several names before I had DS (unprompted, thanks mum ) and as it happened we chose one for DS.

She then spent the first 6 months weeks of his life suggesting other names, saying she's read online the name means xyz (often rude or offensive).

Just choose the name you like and to hell with what she thinks. As pps have said she'll get used to it.