Stick with safe or go with what we love?

(21 Posts)
Whatslovegottodo Tue 28-Jun-16 10:47:39

Still TTC so hypothetical really, but we have been discussing names for a while now.
Would you go with a safe bet, popular name such as Beth for a DD and Jacob for a DS, or go with names you really love but may be considered a little more unusual such as Rowan and River?
Just musing opinions really.

NapQueen Tue 28-Jun-16 10:51:34

I'd go with something I loved provided I didn't think I was burdening my child with a name.

So Rowan; whilst not a traditional "top 10" name is a perfectly nice and use able name for a child and an adult.

River less so, however it isn't ridiculous.

I suppose you could always put the "out there" name in the middle of you didn't feel brave enough to use it as a first name.

HedgeSchool Tue 28-Jun-16 10:56:44

What constitutes 'safe' is so completely culture, class and place-dependent that there's no answer to this. Rowan is an utterly ordinary name around here - there are two in my son's tiny pre-school, and I can think of two others in the (small) village. River would have been a pretty ordinary name in my bit of London when my son was born, because people were from all over the place originally, and 'safe' names is a ridiculous concept when an NCT group or a Sure Start stay and play will include babies with parents from ten different ethnic origins/countries of origin.

My son has a name which is very unusual for here, but very ordinary elsewhere in Europe.

LilQueenie Tue 28-Jun-16 10:57:36

go with what you love. I know a few Rowans and and River is a name that was on my own shortlist. Everyone I know has children with more non traditional names.

KoalaDownUnder Tue 28-Jun-16 10:59:08

Go with what you love.

My friend used 'Calypso' and has never regretted it.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 28-Jun-16 11:47:40

I'd go with what I loved. I think any name goes now

1horatio Tue 28-Jun-16 12:03:11

I would go with the name I love as long as it isn't a name that stigmatised (is that the English word?) the LO. I really like the name Castor, for example. But seeing as this is an oil in England...

Rowan is lovely! I personally don't like River, but I don't think it's too out there...

user1465823522 Tue 28-Jun-16 12:27:55

Personally I would go with something that is mainstream and acceptable - you don't, for example,. want to call your kid 'Tempest' and then have to hold their hand through years of bullying and regrets over university and jobs etc

Gummibaers Tue 28-Jun-16 13:36:52

What on earth is 'not safe' about a name like Rowan or River?! They're both perfectly acceptable names that are easy to spell and pronounce.

Personally I'd rather be called Rowan or River than a top 10 name that I'd have to share with others and have to add my surname initial to my name. Also, trendy names tend to sound dated once they fall out of favour.

RiverTam Tue 28-Jun-16 13:38:43

Rowan and River are lovely names (we had both on both our boys and girls list!) and whilst not popular aren't 'out there' either.

JasperDamerel Tue 28-Jun-16 13:42:09

I think safe depends on who is around you. I don't any children called Beth, and can think of one Jacob (and a Jakob) but I know 3 little Athenas.

NikiSaintPhalle Tue 28-Jun-16 15:41:41

What on earth is 'not safe' about a name like Rowan or River?!

Yes, things are getting to a bizarre level of conformity if Rowan and River are Deeply Unsafe Names. Maybe there should be a law that all babies are called Oliver and Sophie.

BendydickCuminsnatch Tue 28-Jun-16 19:05:53

FWIW I know 2 baby boys called River. Go for it!

Whatslovegottodo Tue 28-Jun-16 20:50:19

Thanks, I realise it is culturally dependent, and also depending on location.
My area tends to be a lot of names like Lily, Ava and Jack, so was just curious for opinion on stepping slightly outside the box. Right now I would just like a baby sad

RiverTam Tue 28-Jun-16 21:51:06

It's fine, OP. FWIW, despite it having been the most popular name for yonks, I have never come across an Olivia (apart from PresidentOliviaMumsnet, of course). Clearly I live somewhere with a high population of MNers who wouldn't be seen dead saddling their child with some ghastly popular name grin.

OutsiderInTheGarden Tue 28-Jun-16 21:57:02

Hi OP. My DS is a Rowan, and River was on my list at one point before OH stuck his pesky beak in. We chose Rowan, in part, because it's not a name we hear every day in our neck of the woods, but at the same time it is not an 'out there' unusual name. In my mind, River is a little more unusual, but it's hardly Moon Unit either!

nectarini1983 Tue 28-Jun-16 22:57:56

Definitely go with what you love!

nooka Wed 29-Jun-16 06:12:32

I think that there is usually middle ground to be had. For me Rowan is very much in it, it's a nice name, easy to spell and recognisable as a name whilst still being relatively unusual. River on the other hand I'm afraid to me just isn't really a name, it just has too much of a right on hipster vibe. I'd hate to be called River (and I have a very unusual name too).

I really like unusual names but dislike lots of current trends like boys names for girls, surnames as first names, diminutives instead of full names etc. However my children have accidentally ended up with names that become on trend a couple of years later, so in some ways it can be hard to know if the name you choose is 'safe' or 'brave'. Best to choose a name that you really really like (and if you'd be happy to use it yourself (or your dh) that's a pretty good sign it's a good one.

UntilTheCowsComeHome Wed 29-Jun-16 11:55:38

I get what you're saying about being in an area with 'safe' names.

Where I live nearly everyone has ordinary boring names, the few more unusual ones really stand out.

There are about a million Jacks/Harrys/Olivers/Ellies/Olivias

15 years ago when we named our DS, we had a lot of comments about it being unusual and were we sure.

His name is Logan for fucks sake not lucifer! grin

Socksey Wed 29-Jun-16 13:07:45

Go with what you love BUT remember that DC will have to live with it for the rest of their lives and you don't want peoples reaction to it to be forever 'wtf' when they introduce themselves. Speaking from experience here... after 40+ years, I would gladly have something a little less exotic that people (even people from my own ethnic background) could pronounce easily / ever.
Also would you like to be called 'Fifi-Trixibelle', 'Heavenly-Hirani Tiger Lilly' etc?
Not that I'm bitter or anything, I quite like my name, I just wish that people (including my own mother) could pronounce it. smile

Gummibaers Wed 29-Jun-16 14:55:01

There is a HUGE difference between an uncommon name that is classic and well known (just not trendy/common) and a weird unusual made up name.

In other words, you can give your child an uncommon name that they won't have to share with lots of others without the need for a lifetime of having to spell it.

In fact, lots of common names have to be spellt out e.g. Katherine/Cathryn or Finley/Finlay etc.

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