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Upset and don't know what to do

(16 Posts)
user1466260191 Sat 18-Jun-16 15:39:15

Please help... Our baby is nearly 6 weeks old and registered. We couldn't decide on his middle name - it was between 3. We ended up giving him one on spare of moment but I really really regret it! I wish I had gone with our original choice which was the more unusual one and the one my partner really wanted. The day we registered him I was very tired and just went with the safe bet family name but I can't stop feeling like i made the wrong choice. I know it can be altered up to a year but feel like all our friends and family would laugh and also feel awful about his BC being amended and having to explain it to him one day. Feel like whatever I do now is wrong.... What would you do? Do I get over it as its just a middle name and stick to the family name or change it and give my partner the best Father's Day present and deal with all the raised eyebrows from family and explaining when he's older. I feel like the worst mum ever for this 😓

MitzyLeFrouf Sat 18-Jun-16 16:50:23

I'd change it. Who needs to know you've changed it beyond your partner and the grandparents really? And who would notice? I wouldn't have a clue as to the middle names of 99% of my friends' kids. Even if someone does notice it will be all of a two minute wonder.

Just change it and save yourself all this stress.

MitzyLeFrouf Sat 18-Jun-16 16:51:49

I feel like the worst mum ever for this



Really, it's not a big deal! You're tired and emotional. You'll laugh about this months from now.

pinkieandperkie Sat 18-Jun-16 16:54:15

Yes change it you will feel so much better. I changed my daughters first name after a couple of weeks, it just didn't suit her.

Essexgirlupnorth Sat 18-Jun-16 16:59:26

Could you add it on as a second middle name? I wouldn't worry about what people think as others have said I can't remember what friends children's middle names are

Bluesand1 Sat 18-Jun-16 18:29:25

No one needs to know if you change it. Other than immediate family people will forget the middle names down the line anyway. Just explain when he's older you preferred the new one or just add it in as a second middle name

user1466260191 Sat 18-Jun-16 20:23:24

Thankyou.., I know what you are saying makes sense I just feel so guilty for not getting his name right in the first place! Never knew naming a baby could be so hard.... X

nectarini1983 Sat 18-Jun-16 21:34:51

I agree with other posters, change it or add it in now and then you can move on. Otherwise the weeks and months will tick past and it'll still bug you. It's only a middle name so not a huge deal really but know how it feels an enormous pressure at the time! I totally agree about not knowing hardly any of friends or their kids middle names so definitely wouldnt spot an extra name slipped in. Who cares any way really? Def it Ely does not make you a bad mum. clearly care very much to be giving it this much thought. Don't let mothers guilt get the better of you!

user1466260191 Sat 18-Jun-16 22:44:11

Aw Thankyou... Feel like we should have given his name more thought while I was pregnant but after 2 ectopics and a miscarriage I was kind of in denial about the whole thing actually happening. Wish I'd given myself some time think about his name properly before he was born as I definitely haven't been thinking clearly since he arrived! X

AGBforever Sun 19-Jun-16 01:46:19

My baby was only named (we now love her name) at the last moment as we were booked for almost the latest slot to legally register her birth... I was still offering up middle names as we walked in. For weeks I regretted not planning the middle names etc better but it was so hard even to get her first name agreed. I felt like you, maybe for 6 months thinking I'll change it but now it's just her, all the names (we gave her 3 to cover all bases) Her Dad's family think I'm a nutter anyway so they were never going to approve.

The long an the short of it - no ones going to say your baby's name more than you so if you're happy with it, do it.

Last caveat (my first born has a slightly wacky name that I was allowed after a 4 day labour) - I love this more than ever now she's at nursery with many multicultural no name sounds weird anymore.

Loafingaround Sun 19-Jun-16 07:26:29

Middle names are not important!! No one cares about them/remembers them/gives 2 hoots- other than the parents/person themselves. Always amazed at the importance so many people on here give them- they really do not matter!! Move on and enjoy your baby.

septembersunshine Sun 19-Jun-16 08:04:56

Don't give yourself a hard time over this! I would honestly just go with your gut instinct to change it and either insert it as a second middle name or just replace it altogether with the other one. No one really needs to know right now plus middle names are almost forgotten after the birth as been announced. Please don't worry but defiantly do this otherwise it will be on your mind all the time! Enjoy your new baby op x

DeltaSunrise Mon 20-Jun-16 02:12:51

Just change it. Honestly no-one even needs to know.

I panicked when registering our ds2 and put Lucas as his middle name on his BC. I regretted it pretty much as soon as we walked out and eventually when he was 4 months old had it changed to Lachlan.

I don't think anyone even remembers that his was originally X Lucas and they only know him as X Lachlan.

Most places take passports instead of BC too so some people don't even know he has had his name changed as his passport is in his new name.

Do it now otherwise you'll regret it forever.

And congratulations flowers

2nds Mon 20-Jun-16 02:24:10

I agree with the person who suggested having it as a second middle name.

I too think you are over thinking it all and your family won't give a hoot if you change it or not and honestly you don't even need to tell them, the child is your baby, not your family's. The child also won't give a hoot that the middle name got changed, if anything it will be nothing more than an interesting tale.

Florrieboo Mon 20-Jun-16 08:33:13

Nobody will even know you have changed it, so go ahead and do it. How many middle names do you know of your extended family. Hell you don't even have to have a middle name, so stop letting this upset you and just do it. Even give him all 3 you were choosing between, it really doesn't matter, it's a middle name, never used in everyday life.

user1466260191 Mon 20-Jun-16 08:53:08

Thankyou you are all saying exactly what I needed to hear. I lnow middle names aren't important but for some reason I've got myself into a right stress about it maybe because my partner chose his first name and I'm starting to regret that too so want middle name to be right in case he wishes to use it as alternative to first. Think I've got a bit of baby blues and pinning all my stress on the name thing. Feeling very fed up about something which i know isn't important but definitely not feeling myself or thinking straight or maybe it's just sleep deprivation! X

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