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Naming miscarried twins

(16 Posts)
heyitscharlie Thu 26-May-16 19:49:28

Hi there.

A few years back I had my first miscarriage. I was 21 weeks at the time, and so new the sex of the baby and I named her. It really helped with the grieving to give my baby an identity.
However a few months ago, I lost twins at 10 weeks. I don't know the gender of the babies and so haven't given them names.
I know that if they had gone full term I would have never given them gender neutral names, so I'm considering going for one boy and one girl name. But it feels wrong to name them when I don't know their sex. Although at the same time I'm hoping that giving them an identity will help me to heal in some way.

What are your thoughts? Is it weird to give the twins names? Or is it wrong of me not to name them?

Also any suggestions for names would be appreciated, just to consider it a bit more.

P1nkP0ppy Thu 26-May-16 19:52:29

I think it's a lovely thing to do, especially if it gives you some solace at such a sad time.
💐 x

Waterhill Thu 26-May-16 20:00:00

I've had 2 miscarriages - I'm sorry for your loss flowers

They did a test to find out my children's genders. We named our daughter Angelica, and our son Teddy.

If I couldn't have known their gender, I would have given them unisex names. However, do what's right for you!

LadyAntonella Thu 26-May-16 20:02:18

I think it's a lovely idea. I'm so very sorry to read of your losses charlie flowers.

DerelictMyBalls Thu 26-May-16 20:03:59

I think it's a lovely thing to do. Do you have a 'feeling' about which sex they were?

I have had miscarriages too. They all have names.

RainyMornings Thu 26-May-16 20:05:29

What a lovely idea. How about names that are special to you? Or nature names? Things like River, Ash, Sparrow, Sky can be unisex, or feelings, Hope, Joy, etc. It's hard to pick a name for babies that you haven't met and don't know the sex of, but you can be a bit more creative with it maybe.

And if nothing strikes you as perfect for them don't worry too much, they will always be your babies, and they will always matter. flowers

Waterhill Thu 26-May-16 20:06:56

BTW, I wouldn't decide their gender. I don't think that's right, but if you want to, that's obviously fine

Miloarmadillo1 Thu 26-May-16 20:11:31

It's not weird to name them , it's not wrong not to. Everyone deals with the loss of an unborn child in their own way. I have lost 4 babies at around 10 weeks and only knew the sex of one of them, but they all have names. I had a 'feeling' about the sex each so chose something to fit. It's hard to suggest any names when it's such a personal thing, I have found that something has come to me during the weeks after a loss. I hope the process of choosing brings you a measure of peace. flowers

Squashybanana Thu 26-May-16 21:00:19

I have one gender neutral name for my first m/c child, and used the 'bump name' for my second (we never found out the sex of any of our children before they were born, so they all had a 'bump name', like Boris or Peanut.).
The need to have them named was very real to me.

LicoriceComfit Thu 26-May-16 22:08:54

I am sorry for your loss.

I think of my miscarried single baby as either Grace or Gregor.

CanadaMoose Thu 26-May-16 22:20:56

Here are some gender neutral ones that you maybe haven't considered:

Morgan
Sam
Quinn
Riley
Taylor
Nell
Nicky
Frankie
Jo
Jackie
Skye
Danny
Billy
Ashley

Another option is to choose words that mean a lot to you and find their translation. Here are some french ones, if it helps.
Love: Amour
Sky: Ciel
Sun: Soleil
Moon: Lune
Star: Étoile
Flower: Fleur

lizziet123 Fri 27-May-16 00:08:45

Hi I'm so sorry to hear your loss, my heart goes out to you. I don't think it's wrong to name them for a boy and a girl. I agree unisex names may be harder to identify with.

Do what ever is best for you and I hope it gives you some comfort at this sad time. I don't know you but your in my thoughts xx

Raines100 Fri 27-May-16 13:36:33

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers
We just went with the bump name, 'Baked Bean', for our miscarried baby (12 weeks).
Not sure what to suggest, but just wanted to reiterate that there is no right or wrong answer. Just do what feels right. With twins, I might be tempted to do 'Charlie & Lola' or 'Rosie & Jim' or something. I don't mean to be trite. That might be totally wrong for you, but I would want to keep it light, and it gives you faces to visualise x

SorenaJ Fri 27-May-16 18:12:56

Or else you could give each twin a boys and a girls name, for example Sarah James and Noah Sophie.

heyitscharlie Mon 30-May-16 22:30:52

Thanks everyone for your kind messages.
After much deliberation I've decided to name one twin as a boy and the other as a girl- Theo and Esmé.

AndNowItsSeven Mon 30-May-16 22:42:06

Beautiful names Charlie flowers

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