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What would you do if...

(211 Posts)
andpropersteel Thu 26-May-16 10:03:50

Both you and DP had settled on a name that you both love, but it was quite an uncommon name at present...

Not a 'yoonique' name.
Not a 'made up' name.

Just a name that, because it hasn't been in the top 500 since the 1950s, isn't on everyone's immediate radar?

We both really like it, and can't see anything wrong with it. It carries well from tot to adult. But there seems to be some people (on the internet, not daft/brave enough to share potential baby names in real life) who vehemently hate it looking at you mumsnet , and others (usually those who've actually met someone with this name) who love it.

Our thinking is that people are way more judgey of names when they're just arbitrary, and should we use it, it'll just become our little boy's name once people get used to it and that'll be that = new positive association. Names that are really popular now, like Henry or Gabriel for example, would have been considered ''cruel'' 10 years ago, and are totally nice names now.

We have a couple of ''back up'' names but DP in particular is really saddened to have to use those and it feels a bit weird to do so since using his ''in-utero'' name.

WWYD?

PurpleDaisies Thu 26-May-16 10:04:58

What's the name?

Refusenick Thu 26-May-16 10:08:46

Use it. Why on earth wouldn't you? My son's name is so rare in this country it doesn't actually appear on the stats for the year of his birth (which means something like fewer than five little Xs were born that year, I believe?). It's a very ordinary name in other countries, having said that.

I honestly don't get the conformist 'all babies must be called George and Sophie, otherwise their parents are tryhard/chavs/wacky flaky wayout hippes/inbred poshos' approach that raises its head quite often on here. Or the 'top ten names are top ten names for a reason - they're so lovely that everyone wants to use them!' one.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 26-May-16 10:09:28

I think the important going here is you and dp loving the name.

PurpleDaisies Thu 26-May-16 10:10:39

I forgot to say that in my post-if you both love it use it and don't tell a soul (in real life-tell me now!) until he's born.

Oliversmumsarmy Thu 26-May-16 10:10:59

Henry or Gabriel for example, would have been considered ''cruel'' 10 years ago, and are totally nice names now

Think some of my friends must have been really "cruel" because I know more than one Henry and Gabriel. One Gabriel is 11 years old and I know a Henry who is 13. Didn't think those names have ever been unfashionable.

What name is it?

I have a German friend who never told us her middle name. On her wedding day when it was read out their was a roar of laughter. It really was that dreadful.

Only1scoop Thu 26-May-16 10:12:11

What's the name

Chances are I'll love it

HeteronormativeHaybales Thu 26-May-16 10:14:48

You need to share the name!
Don't get the point of these posts when posters are not prepared to give the crucial info.

andpropersteel Thu 26-May-16 10:15:51

Oliversmumsarmy must have been unclear, what I meant is that if you trawl through baby name threads on the internet from 10+ years ago then that's the sort of thing you see being said. Not that I think it's ''cruel'' (whatever cruel means).

HeteronormativeHaybales Thu 26-May-16 10:17:16

Though tbh if you both love it AND it's an actual name with history, and not one of these proliferating surnames (without tradition as first names)-as-first-names, use it.

andpropersteel Thu 26-May-16 10:19:16

Because the point is, I don't want an opinion on the name as such, I want an opinion on the situation. If I posted the name right away it'd just be another ''what is your personal opinion of this random un-personified name'' thread.

lljkk Thu 26-May-16 10:21:18

Barbara, Joan or Patricia?

Will probably be very trendy by 2035. Go for it.

albertcampionscat Thu 26-May-16 10:22:09

Not necessarily an issue. Gregory,
Conrad & Jerome all rank under 500 in the latest ONS stats. All perfectly sensible names.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm Thu 26-May-16 10:22:20

I've never known Gabriel to be a 'cruel' name. I have a Gabriel, and the only person who ever objected to it was my ex's mother, who said he'd be called 'Gay'. She's a tool though.

If you like the name, and it grows with your child (that's a factor that's very important to me, too), then use it. It's the awful made up names that most people on here object to.

BertrandRussell Thu 26-May-16 10:24:04

Right.

Imagine yourself with the name at your first day at secondary school. Imagine that you haven't had your growth spurt yet, so you're small for your age, but, nature being what it is, you have got the spots already. You're terrified. A group of older boys asks your name. Happy to give it?
Great.

Now imagine that you're a young man managing a team of much older, rather rambunctious people. Is the name likely to cause a reaction? No?
Great.

Is it hard to spell or pronounce to the extent that the vast majority of people will have to ask or get it wrong- because that gets really wearing after a few thousand times?No?
Great.

In other words, is it likely that the name you give him is likely to make his life even slightly more difficult- particularly if he is less robust than you hope he will be? Because life can be really hard- you don't want to do something you can easily avoid doing that will make his life even a tiny bit harder.

OneMagnumisneverenough Thu 26-May-16 10:24:47

Unless it's a name that fell out of fashion for a particular reason such as Adolf then it's just really about fashion isn't it? I'm now wracking my brain trying to think of 1950's boys names.

Wayne
Gordon
Kevin
Donald
Brian
Paul
Graeme

ItsyBitsyBikini Thu 26-May-16 10:24:56

I would use it. Our babies name isn't unusual or old fashioned etc just not heard much but we love it. If you both like it enough to have it as first choice, it shouldn't matter what other people think. There's been only one person who's raised eyebrows at our baby name but they're a bit fussy and expected us to name baby what they wanted to call him.

OneMagnumisneverenough Thu 26-May-16 10:26:47

Ah is it Gregory - I think that's a great name and I've suggested it regularly on here. My eldest was almost Gregor (Scottish) and I wish we'd gone for it when it was down to the last two.

I don't see any issue at all.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 26-May-16 10:26:56

It really does depend on the name.

In my opinion Walter, for example, I think is awful. nn Walt (wart) and Wally are just terrible.

Horatio, on the other hand, might get a snigger but I think people would get used to it. I think it has a nice sound to it.

So to me, it really does depend on the name involved.

QforCucumber Thu 26-May-16 10:35:09

I know a new baby called Colin which at first I found a bit strange and old manish but now (1 month in) it's just his name.

MrsMushrooms Thu 26-May-16 10:37:02

It depends so much on the name. I know you want advise on the situation but there isn't generic situational advice. I'd love you say, "if you guys love it, go for it!" but as a previous commenter has pointed out, it's your DC that has to live with it and if it is going to make their life even a tiny bit more awkward, don't do it. It's not fair.

My name was unusual and a little old-old-fashioned (it's since had a resurgence, thankfully) and I always used to have to spell it or correct people who thought it was something else. People would say things like, "oh, how unusual, I don't know any other Xs!" and my parents probably thought that made me feel special, but I just felt 'different' in a bad way. It sounds trivial but it didn't feel that way at school (doesn't help that we moved abroad for school for a bit and it's a boy's name there!)

MrsMushrooms Thu 26-May-16 10:37:25

Advice*

Oliversmumsarmy Thu 26-May-16 10:38:31

I know a Horatio, he is neighbours grandson. He is 2.

gingerboy1912 Thu 26-May-16 10:40:10

If you both love it then tell us what it is use it!

BertrandRussell Thu 26-May-16 10:45:24

I hate the "if you love it use it" line. If you love it change your own name to it unless you can be sure that your child will love it too.

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