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Naming DS: name him after my dad or use a name I love?

(38 Posts)
PiledUpPenguins Wed 25-May-16 12:34:15

My dad's name was Arthur. He recently died. Up until then I was going to call DS Theo(dore) which I have always loved. Now I want to honour my dad and I am drawn to carrying on his name in the next generation. Objectively I do not love the name Arthur but I love the idea of using my dad's name.

What do people think about using significant names vs "liked" names?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 25-May-16 12:42:20

Why not include it as a middle name.

Kittyrobin Wed 25-May-16 12:44:41

Just use it as a middle name.

Dizzydodo Wed 25-May-16 12:47:24

Sorry for your loss, my dad died when I was a teenager, if dd had been a boy (or we have a ds one day) I'll use his name as a middle name as I'm not a massive fan of his name (although don't dislike it). Personally I think Theo and Arthur are both lovely names but go with what you like rather than what you feel obliged to do.

ElspethFlashman Wed 25-May-16 12:49:02

Middle name.

Artandco Wed 25-May-16 12:50:55

Middle name.

I think middle name means you have used in memory but not trying to actually replace father which is nice as then he can grow to be his own person

Theodore Arthur is lovely

Or can add another middle name also of your choice like Theodore Arthur James

nectarini1983 Wed 25-May-16 13:01:03

I'd use it as a middle name

raisedbyguineapigs Wed 25-May-16 13:06:05

My DS1 has a middle name we liked whereas my ds2 has my dad's name, although he is still alive. I like the fact ds2 has my dad's name, and wish DS1 had a similar. My dad was thrilled too, which was nice!

Unicow Wed 25-May-16 13:07:47

Theodore Arthur sounds gorgeous. If I had another I would use a family name as a middle name

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 25-May-16 13:09:49

Middle name.

Winterdaisy Wed 25-May-16 13:13:50

Use your fathers name as a middle name. I gave myDS1 my deceased fathers name as a middle name. I think it's better than using it as a first name as allows the child to be their own person also I think my mother would have struggled if she had a grandchild with the same name as her husband. Use the name you love as a first name.
Theodore Arthur is nice!

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Wed 25-May-16 13:32:18

Another vote for Theodore Arthur.

PiledUpPenguins Wed 25-May-16 14:29:15

Thanks all. My only worry is that middle names are not significant enough. Few people ever know your middle name. I feel my Dad's name needs more prominence than a forgotten middle initial :-(.

AnotherEmma Wed 25-May-16 14:33:42

Sorry for your loss. I think you're grieving and you want to honour your father, which is understandable, but I don't think using his name as your son's first name is the right way to do it. I agree with PPs who suggested using it as a middle name. And why not think of another way to honour him as well? Plant a tree, get a bench with a memorial plaque... Or something else!

Changingagain Wed 25-May-16 14:35:48

My Dad died when I was a teenager. My DS is Theodore known as Theo and has the same middle name as my dad. I don't worry about the middle name being forgotten about as the people who don't know his middle name also wouldn't know it's significance anyway. As long as we know and DS knows when he's old enough to understand then I think the meanings there.

jamenhej Wed 25-May-16 14:37:31

I am due to give birth to our little boy in a few weeks, my dad died two years ago, and DS will have his name as a second middle name. I think a middle name is a lovely gesture and totally fine for you to use Theo as a first name flowers

NapQueen Wed 25-May-16 14:40:48

What about Arthur Theodore Surname and use Thoedore/Theodore day to day? A couple of people I know go by their middle name and always have done.

Surf25 Wed 25-May-16 20:56:47

Sorry that you have lost your dad recently. Theodore Arthur is a lovely name. May be slightly biased wink as have a Theo and love middle names which have real family significance.

Surf25 Wed 25-May-16 20:57:41

PS meant to say our Theo is also Theodore.

lizziet123 Thu 26-May-16 07:43:52

Im so sorry for your loss. I agree with other posts use your dad's name as a middle name. This will allow your ds to be his own person but will also honour your dad. Both names go well together. It's so hard naming babies isn't it! Good luck x

WhatsGoingOnEh Thu 26-May-16 07:46:04

Middle name is a lovely tribute.

BeStrongAndCourageous Thu 26-May-16 07:51:39

Both my DCs have family names as middle names, I think it's a lovely tribute.

Refusenick Thu 26-May-16 10:16:37

Sorry for your loss, OP. I feel strongly about never naming children after family members, and the resultant spin offs with different family members then feeling they're 'owed' subsequent children being named after them. I would say that on the grounds of your sanity, unless you're prepared to have (at a minimum) little Linda (your mother's name), little Geoffrey (FIL) and Barbara (MIL), you should go with Theodore, which is gorgeous.

2ManySweets Thu 26-May-16 10:21:32

Firstly OP, sorry for your loss.

I felt exactly as you do now about giving my mum's name as the middle name, I basically didn't want it at all (to begin with) then I didn't want it "relegated" to an initial.

Where I come from, it's really common to call boys by their middle name. So you could call your boy Arthur Theodore but he could be known as "Theo"?

I don't particularly like my mum's name but it ended up working alliteratively with our "preferred" name.

Theodore Arthur OR Arthur Theodore both "work".

Just do what feels right for you. I know it's a cop-out answer but it was only when our baby was a week old we managed to settle on the name. So take your time and see how you feel x

NoMilkNoSugar Thu 26-May-16 10:22:14

Sorry for your loss . In my family middle name is always a tribute name, my children are named after their grandparents and they are still alive. My kids love knowing why they have to their middle names and the they always feel connected to their grampys.

As an aside, did your Dad go as Arthur? My GF was an Arthur but was always known as Art. I always said if we had had another boy, his name would be Art

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