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Help re boys name!

(20 Posts)
Ipushedmygrannyaffabus Thu 19-May-16 23:41:46

I have wanted to call a future son Joseph for about 30 years. It's after my late father, but also my favourite boys name in the world. 'D'P is hugely against this, says our baby needs a name of his own, it should be a middle name etc. tbh, my mum agrees. I'm gutted, as it's the only name with any meaning for me.

The only other name I love is Aaron, and I quite like Owen and Miles. DP has his heart set on Ethan, which I don't mind, but certainly don't love. I can see me giving in and calling the baby that if I can't come up with something we both love, but at the same time, why SHOULDNT I get to name my only child the name I really love??

Baby is due in 8 weeks. Should I put my foot down for Joseph or anyone got any other suggestions?? This whole thing is stressing me out!

junebirthdaygirl Thu 19-May-16 23:55:36

Wait until you are in the throes of labour then say between pains that you really would love Joseph and then he can't object! Would he go for Joe or Joey instead. Both seem to be popular at the moment.

MimiSunshine Fri 20-May-16 06:36:06

why SHOULDNT I get to name my only child the name I really love??

Because your DP should also have this right, you are both equal parents.

The PP advice is terrible, so you really want to manipulate him to get your way? Or worse taint the memories of the birth because he refuses to be manipulated?

He's happy for it to be a middle name which means it still gets used so you both 'win' therefore You need to keep working through 1st names until you find one you're both happy with.

Yes it's hard when you had your heart set on one name but did you never stop to think that the baby's father might want a say?

cosmicglittergirl Fri 20-May-16 06:41:23

Well if he likes one name and you prefer another then a compromise has to be made somewhere. You can either hang on and see if he changes his mind, choose another entirely different name or give in to his name. Personally I do think the woman should get the edge on name choosing as you're doing more of the work, not everyone will agree with that, but hey.

HeteronormativeHaybales Fri 20-May-16 06:42:08

I'm actually on your side, partly because Joseph is 10 million times nicer than Ethan. But actually I think that to be absolutely fair, neither of you should get the name you have set your hearts on. Find something else you both like and 'try it for size' for a bit. Does dh like Aaron?

Bluesand1 Fri 20-May-16 07:51:46

Joseph and Ethan are both nice names. I personally prefer Ethan but perhaps choose something you both like

EllenDegenerate Fri 20-May-16 08:04:52

Put your foot down snd insist on Joseph.

You're the one who is carrying the baby, you're the one who will give birth. Pull rank, I would.

Also has your husband lost his DF? If not I think it's rather harsh and unempathetic of him to be so against you naming your son after your own late DF.

Others won't agree with me but I don't care.
Your husband will get over it and it means such a lot to you that he should do so with good grace.

Pipilangstrumpf Fri 20-May-16 08:46:41

No, choose a name you BOTH love.

Footle Fri 20-May-16 12:06:54

Tricky one, this. If your DH is passing on his surname, there's a case to be made for your choice of first name, especially as it's such an important name to you.
I think you'll be thinking of your son as Joseph anyway, and you should use it.

Footle Fri 20-May-16 12:07:54

Tricky one, this. If your DH is passing on his surname, there's a case to be made for your choice of first name, especially as it's such an important name to you.
I think you'll be thinking of your son as Joseph anyway, and you should use it.

Footle Fri 20-May-16 12:08:24

Oh no , not the double post thing again.

GreenBeans17 Fri 20-May-16 12:12:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OneMagnumisneverenough Fri 20-May-16 12:58:09

I think you need to find a compromise name - the problem with that is that neither of you get your favourite.

I can see your DHs point, it's not that he dislikes the name per se, but he want's your child to be his own person and having a name that is after someone so important in your life can be a bit of a burden for them to carry.

Anyway, some nice names with a similar style on your OP.

Some others in the same vein:


Ipushedmygrannyaffabus Fri 20-May-16 13:01:19

Thanks for the differing opinions. If we could find something we BOTH loved, I'd relegate Joseph to a middle name, but we just can't find one! My dad - who died when I was a child and no, DP hasn't lost a parent - was actually Joe, so to me Joseph IS giving the baby his own name.

Baby is going to have both surnames UNLESS we call him Joseph, in which case I would drop my surname (which is is a big deal to me) so he wouldn't just be my dad's exact name-dps surname.

Poring through other boy name threads to try and find an alternative name to solve this, but Joseph IS a perfect name IMO!!

OneMagnumisneverenough Fri 20-May-16 13:02:21

...and please ignore the rubbish about you having the right to choose since you are carrying and delivering the baby. You will both hopefully be raising your son for the next 18 years and then loving and supporting him as an adult. in the grand scheme of things that 9 months in nothing and he has as much right to input to the child's name as you do.

I wonder how the posters would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and they had to put up with their child being named something they didn't want?

OneMagnumisneverenough Fri 20-May-16 13:05:00

I also note that your Mum agrees with your DP, maybe she'd find it painful to have your child named after her DH? have you asked her why she agrees?

Ipushedmygrannyaffabus Fri 20-May-16 13:05:21

Ty one magnum - I actually love Jonah, I think it's cool but traditional and different and includes 'joe', it would be the perfect compromise name. Unfortunately DP comes from generations of sea-farers and a 'Jonah' is someone who is bad luck on a boat so he just won't go for it.

Also like Evan and Gregory but those names already used by close family. But other names along those lines very welcome!

OneMagnumisneverenough Fri 20-May-16 13:15:36

There is also Josiah but that's a bit biblical unless that's your thing. I think Evan would be a good compromise as it is similar to Ethan and you like it too. Evan Joseph sounds nice.


ABitAsleep Fri 20-May-16 14:06:55

Do you by any chance both like Seth? It kind of sould like the 'seph' in Joseph, so could be an alternative that is still inspired by your father's name, but is kind of a similar style to Ethan, Miles, etc smile

Horseshoe1 Fri 20-May-16 16:00:50

Jonas? Means gift from God.
I think otherwise you should strive for one you both love, with Joseph in the middle x

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