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Naming a child after someone

(8 Posts)
myothernameiswashingherhair Wed 18-May-16 19:55:40

I have name changed as DH knows my username.

DFIL died suddenly a couple of months ago. Prior to this, we had chosen our boys name and were happy with it. Since DFIL passed away, DH has become very keen on using his dad's name as the first name.

I don't mind the name and it sounds nice with the original first name as a middle name but I don't know how others may take it iykwim? I think it's a nice and fitting tribute to a very lovely man, and DH was very close to his dad, but the name wouldn't have been considered had he not passed away as, as a rule in the past, we don't use 'family names' so as not to cause offence to anyone on either side. I am not close to my own dad but can't help but think how he may feel as well as dbil/dmil.

FWIW the name is the Scottish version of John and I knows it's a total marmite name on here smile


Tinklypoo Wed 18-May-16 20:05:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stiffstink Wed 18-May-16 20:18:25

Would the baby have the same first name and surname as your late FIL? How do you think MIL will feel about it? Will she be pleased or is it too soon?

myothernameiswashingherhair Wed 18-May-16 21:15:51

Yes same surname and first name and same middle initial too. Not sure how mil would/will feel, she isn't DH mum.

We haven't told anyone that we are planning on using the name but we wouldn't have told them the name anyway until baby is born as we have done with our other dcs.

Zadocthepriest Thu 19-May-16 16:58:05

We named our 3 after family members, (both 1st and middle names) including relatives who had died. Never regretted it as those names will always have more meaning than whatever happens to be fashionable at the time.

It started off as a decision to use a family name as a middle name then we realised that we were happier to go for names which had a special significance.

We shared the names out between the 2 sides of the family to make it fair ie 2 grandparents, deceased aunt and uncle, etc

diddl Thu 19-May-16 17:40:52

I wouldn't if you hadn't even considered it.

Fine as a middle name.

skankingpiglet Fri 20-May-16 17:31:38

I would use it as a middle name but not a first as it's probably a bit soon to have someone else in the family with almost exactly the same name.

My DD has DMIL's name as her first and DM's middle name as her middle name. My MIL passed away many years ago and DM has passed away since, so her name means a lot to us. The difference was that so many years have passed, we use a very different shortening, and we had picked out the name before DD was even conceived. It was always our intention to have the name if we had a girl. However even with the time since MIL passed away, DSIL still says it's odd hearing her name when we full-name her as of course she also has MIL's surname.

I don't like telling people IRL our name choices either, but if you think you might go with it then it may be worth breaking the rule to see how close family would feel about it.

EmmaWoodlouse Sat 21-May-16 21:03:22

First of all, sorry to hear about your FIL.

This might be the one rare occasion when it would be appropriate to sound out MIL first - I would never normally think grandparents should have a say in a baby's name, but it might be worth giving her a heads up that you are considering it, and checking whether she'd be OK with it.

If the name is what I think it is, it's a very nice name and I often think it should be used more than it is, given the number of other short, manly names that are popular. It would make a good middle name with many other names too - just check the initials don't spell anything silly!

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