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Would you go ahead with the registration of you had doubts about the name?

(22 Posts)
BettyBi0 Thu 12-May-16 10:10:48

DP and I have really struggled to find a name that we agree on. We both like fairly unusual names but live in a bohemian area of London where no-one bats an eyelid at names like Horatio, Phoenix, Griffin, Arlo, Monty, Wilfred etc.

The name we have chosen is kind of in this vein but I don't really want to say it as it would totally out me. I thought I really loved this name but it hasn't had the warmest reception from people. Lots of "oh, that's errr unusual?" type comments or just changing the subject. When I introduced DD1 on the other hand I got lots of "what a beautiful name!" type comments.

This has thrown my confidence in the name quite a lot. So although I loved it at first, now I'm worried we are making a mistake. Also, when people say the name back to me, it sounds strangely over the top posh which isn't at all what I thought at first.

So should I take the hint and start again from scratch now? Even though lots of people have been told the name, we haven't registered the birth yet so it would be straightforward to do, even if a bit embarrassing.

Or should I stick with my original love for the name and go with it in the hope that the name will just become a part of him and not an issue?

It fits our general criteria;
Rare but familiar sounding
More than one syllable
Good NN potential
Easy to spell
Goes with our surname
DP and I both like it (and its the ONLY bloomin name we can agree on)

What would you do? Proceed with the name you loved or rethink? oh god I can't bear to go back to the drawing board

LemonBreeland Thu 12-May-16 10:14:12

I would go for it. I got lots of odd reactions to DS2's name when he was born, but we loved it and stuck with it. Others come around to what your child is called. They may not love the name, but they don't have to.

I still love DS's name, it makes me happy he has it. He loves that he's never met another one. I just wish I'd been stronger with DD's name and given her the more outlandish name I wanted, rather than capitulating to DH.

MrsJoeyMaynard Thu 12-May-16 10:15:56

Do you think you'd regret not using it in 5 /10 /20 years time if you changed to a different name now?

LemonBreeland Thu 12-May-16 10:27:32

I should have mentioned that DS2 is almost 9 years old.

ThinkPinkStink Thu 12-May-16 10:30:30

Use it! Use it!

In my experience once you've met a baby called 'whatever name' it stops sounding weird and just becomes their name.

Don't let other (insensitive) people's (unwanted) opinions sway you.

stiffstink Thu 12-May-16 10:34:44

I've had the same reaction to DD's name. "That's <pause> different!"

She's 13 weeks now and its her name, we still love it and I'm glad because there were literally no other names we could agree on.

I like all of the names in your OP and I bet I'd love the name you've chosen.

Geez, I'm so curious now!

Pipilangstrumpf Thu 12-May-16 10:43:37

Of course you should use it!

Your lovely ds will grow into his name and people will associate him to it and therefore love it too smile. Good luck!

Pipilangstrumpf Thu 12-May-16 10:45:41

I too love all your mentioned boys names. Our ds has a very rare name too, one that was only used 12 times or so last year. He loves it and loves being the only one in his school with it. And it's also a perfectly normal classic, not made up name smile.

Go for the name you both love!

SpotOfWeather Thu 12-May-16 10:53:26

I have changed my name, as an adult, because my name is so unusual that no one could spell it right at workplace. It caused real problems like wrong HR records etc. I had to correct people all the time at meetings and such, it was very tiring.

There's nothing wrong about my name, it's just that most people I meet have never heard of it before, and the spelling is difficult. My original name doesn't mean anything bad and doesn't sound funny, it's just unusual.

Some of your example names don't sound bad choices to me - I know someone called Arlo, and I've heard Wilfred before. But naming a child Horatio, Phoenix or Monty is cruel I would say - don't kids have enough problems without names like these which are bound to cause teasing in school during teenage years?

Other baby bames that I have heard negative comments about are India and Persephone. People just find it embarrassing/strange to call someone that...

If you want you can PM me your choice and I can give you my honest opinion.

Pipilangstrumpf Thu 12-May-16 10:58:11

"But naming a child Horatio, Phoenix or Monty is cruel"

How on earth is it 'cruel' to give your child one of these names? They're all old, solid names that are easy to pronounce/spell. And they're not overused. I know a few boys named Monty who are lovely and I know a teenage Horatio. He's very cool and I think his name is great.

Personally I find it 'cruel' to give your child a name already used by thousands of others so that they have to become known as 'little Sarah' or 'fat Sarah' or whatever.

I do agree that names with ambiguous spellings can be a pain (Kathryn vs Katharine or Elliott vs Elliot) so a clear spelling helps imo.

BoboBunnyH0p Thu 12-May-16 10:58:17

Use it, I had various reactions to our DS name the funniest looking back (he's 5 now) was "ooh it sounds like an American porn stars name!"
My ds suits his name and can't imagine him called anything else.

SpotOfWeather Thu 12-May-16 10:59:14

I disagree with "Don't let other people's opinions sway you." The name WILL be used by other people, for the whole of your child's life. Other people's opinions are important, whether you like it or not. More so for an extrovert like me - I like people and don't like to cause them trouble the minute they meet me.

MitzyLeFrouf Thu 12-May-16 11:01:43

Would you feel comfortable yelling his name across a crowded park or supermarket or do you think you'd cringe slightly?

PresidentCJCregg Thu 12-May-16 11:07:31

I think it's very easy for other people to say 'go for it!' via a laptop. But you're the one who has to shout it across Tesco when he's being a little bugger.

What does your heart say? If you're cringing a little inside maybe it's a sign that it's just not THE name for your boy.

Mottled Thu 12-May-16 11:21:46

Hard to say without knowing the name, those names listed say different things to me, Horatio & Monty are a statement about class/public school education etc to me. The others listed are just a bit quirky.

There is no harm in delaying the registration appointment to try out new names. How about posting some other names that you like?

albertcampionscat Thu 12-May-16 12:00:14

Go for it, especially if the nicknames are more shoutable across playground (e.g. Thaddeus might be a bit much on a rainy Tuesday, but Thad works).

BareBearBum Thu 12-May-16 12:13:10

We chose a name we loved and agreed on for our first son 16 years ago and got some really strange responses.

That we couldn't have it, as we aren't Jewish was my favourite!

But it was and is absolutely him! And even though it has raised in popularity now, there aren't many around his age group, which he likes.

Personally I'd go for it, the name becomes them, iykwim?

septembersunshine Thu 12-May-16 17:45:57

Umm.... the only thing you have said that makes me think that you should defiantly change it is that you think when you hear the name it sounds strangely over the top. I have to say, this rang alarm bells for me because whenever I've named a baby (on number 4) the name just felt right and good and I always feel very proud and happy saying it. I know some names have to grow on you and the child but honestly - do you really love it enough? does it feel right or not? that is what it boils down to.

I guess what you could do is:
1) Pick a new first name and make this name you are wondering about a second.
2) Pick a second name that you love (in case the child hates his first name and wants to go by the second) and keep the first name.

I would hold off the registration for now and really give this a good long think. What is a few more days or a week more? Consider and compare other names to this one and go with your gut!

BettyBi0 Sun 15-May-16 10:23:12

Thanks for all the advice. DP isn't budging and has started to announce the name to all and sundry. I was a bit miffed at first but the more I hear it, the more it sounds normal.

It's like the name is becoming part of him and we could have named him Blanket or anything and that would have been fine too.

Perhaps I was just overthinking it all and now I've reached a saturation point.

So Acanthus Andromeda it is!

BettyBi0 Sun 15-May-16 10:24:01

Just kidding btw

MagratsFlyawayHair Sun 15-May-16 10:44:24

Yeah. Just do it.

manicinsomniac Sun 15-May-16 22:56:49

I think you should give him the name you love.

but I really want to know what it is grin

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