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Baby Name Anxiety

(40 Posts)
heavenknows2007 Mon 18-Apr-16 17:23:25

My daughter is now six weeks! We weren't even sure what we were going to name her when we went into the registry office, and then just one of our names (Eleanor) came out. After leaving the registry office, I cried because I just wasn't sure of the name, and now my husband has given me today as a deadline to either decide to keep Eleanor, or to change it. (He's having trouble bonding without her name, and it's really upsetting him -- I think this is fair.) We haven't announced the name to anyone besides my sisters if that helps.

I really cannot decide. We had a few names and I was told that I would KNOW when I saw her, but, you know, I didn't and I don't! Any name I use seems weird now, and though there are a few I might (?) like more than Eleanor now, it feels weird to abandon a perfectly good name and wreck her birth certificate.

That said, I keep obsessively reading comments about Eleanor and seeing it and its nicknames (Ellie, Ella) is too popular (wouldn't use Ellie ourselves -- though I suppose she might.) Now I'm worried Eleanor is just too long for me to use on a regular basis. I'm also worried it doesn't match my son's name, though my husband says that doesn't matter. AND I'm worried if I change it, I'll regret it later esp. when I meet little Eleanors and think, why did I get rid of that name? Or if later she prefers Eleanor . . .

I'm not averse to changing it if it's really not her name, but how did you decide? How did you finally bite the bullet???

SnuffleGruntSnorter Mon 18-Apr-16 17:28:06

I don't know if this helps, but there was only one contender for my son's name. When he arrived it took a few months before it really felt like his real name. Now I can't imagine calling him anything else.

Eleanor is a lovely name, your daughter will be just as beautiful and perfect wherever name you pick. Is there anything else you're feeling anxious about or is it just this?

19909ninty Mon 18-Apr-16 17:28:08

What about Elle? My oh HATES our sons name well hated he has gotten used to it now and thinks the baby suits it but he's only just come around to it my son is 7 months.

It's not a name that can be shortened either

19909ninty Mon 18-Apr-16 17:29:52

There's also Nelly and my friend called Eleanor goes by Ellen

lavenderdoilly Mon 18-Apr-16 17:34:30

What a lovely name - look up Eleanor of Acquitane if you don't already know about her. Fab if complex person to share a name with.
My parents were very last minute about mine (not Eleanor btw)and there were quite a few at my school. I'm me. They are them.
Congratulations on your new little girl.

5608Carrie Mon 18-Apr-16 17:34:45

How would you feel it someone said I am sorry you can't use Eleanor. Eg. if your best friend phoned and said she had a baby and called Eleanor?

What is your gut saying? Is it disappointed you can't have that name?

My nephew was called a name I really didn't like but now I love it because it makes me think of him.

PresidentCJCregg Mon 18-Apr-16 17:37:22

What other names do you have in mind?

Artistic Mon 18-Apr-16 17:50:38

I'd say it doesn't matter what anyone thinks but you. If you are unhappy then change it. No point regretting later.

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Mon 18-Apr-16 17:54:50

What about Elea? El ee a. I do really like Eleanor too though. it is much, much better than when I quickly read you thread title and thought you were considering Anxiety as an option

heavenknows2007 Mon 18-Apr-16 17:58:06

Aargh I'm so numb to names I can't feel my gut! And I definitely struggle with anxiety, especially when it comes to anything related to my children. sad I think I'll probably regret anything.

Love the Eleanor of Aquitaine reference!

As for other names: Nina? Celia? Rose? Alice? All have pros and cons. And then there's the emotional cost of changing it & always having old name on certificate . . .

We live near York if that matters!

RiverTam Mon 18-Apr-16 18:00:40

I have an Ella, there aren't that many that I personally know of, and it's a beautiful name for my beautiful girl smile. Eleanor is lovely too.

Coconutty Mon 18-Apr-16 18:01:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DerelictMyBalls Mon 18-Apr-16 18:09:11

I didn't feel like my son's name was really his at first. I kept calling him other names by accident!

Have you spoken to your GP about your anxiety?

Sophronia Mon 18-Apr-16 18:24:30

You could use Nell or Norah as nns for Eleanor

averylongtimeago Mon 18-Apr-16 18:30:21

Eleanor is a lovely name, you can always use one of the many shortened versions if they "fit" as she gets bigger. If you had other choices in mind as well, why not use one (or two!) as middle names.

AuntJane Mon 18-Apr-16 18:40:50

As an option, you could name her Elinor and call her Elin, Lin or Nora.

albertcampionscat Mon 18-Apr-16 18:55:40

Eleanor is a lovely name, and like pp have said it has a LOT of great nicknames. Nell, Norah, Nellie, Lin, Elin, Ellie, Ella, El.

HeadTilt Mon 18-Apr-16 18:59:23

It's a lovely name.

I think you can overthink shortenings/nicknames. You could call your child one of the other names and they could end up with a nickname you wouldn't choose. Our nicknames for DD aren't related to her name, theyve just evolved.

I like Eleanor more than Celia, Rose and Alice by miles. I also like Nina. Eleanor is a lovely, classic, underused name.

HeteronormativeHaybales Mon 18-Apr-16 19:00:56

Eleanor is beautiful, stunning,and why 'too long' for daily use? My kids have 3- and 4-syllable names and don't need 'nicknames', at least not parent-imposed ones. They'll develop their own organically. .

HeteronormativeHaybales Mon 18-Apr-16 19:01:33

Should say they (my kids) have developed their own and yours will.

PlaymobilPirate Mon 18-Apr-16 19:07:09

I love Eleanor. It took me ages to get used to ds' name - now I love it.

It's unfair of your day to say that you have to make the decision!

Could you describe her to us? Might trigger something for you / one of us that's 'her'

mrsschu Mon 18-Apr-16 19:13:02

We only had one name for DS when he was born so it was 100% decided in advance. BUT it's quite a "grown up name" if that makes sense and it took a while for me to think that it actually suited him. But he has totally grown into it and it's perfect for him. I'm sure there are lots of babies who don't really suit their name initially. I also wouldn't worry about its popularity, DD has a top 10 name which we love and in reality we don't meet many kids with her name. As others said there are tonnes of lovely nn's for Eleanor, I particularly like Ellen and Elle, both of which aren't very popular as far as I know. Good luck!

DoughNut12345 Mon 18-Apr-16 20:00:21

My dd's name felt weird for a while until I got used to it. I called her 'Mrs Mop' for at least 6 months!
She's a Tess and of course I love it now and can't imagine her being called anything different. Eleanor's lovely btw....

septembersunshine Mon 18-Apr-16 20:04:45

My nine-year-old is called Eleanor and we called her Ella from birth (just seemed right and it wasn't that popular right then - still isn't in our area now). She could also have been an Elle or any other of the nicknames but she had this beautiful round face and little turned up nose and seemed to suit Ella. I don't regret it because it gives her tons of options when she is older and it's very strong and classic. AND it became obvious that she was very much an Eleanor - she really is! Now she is starting to call herself Eleanor sometimes and we see it written on her stuff so she must like it. Maybe you should trust your gut instinct? after all you rejected all the other names for a reason.

If you are still thinking 'agh' but want to keep Eleanor how about announcing her name like this "Introducing baby Ella (Eleanor ........., officially), born ..... etc..." or "Eleanor ...... is finally here, Ella to her friends, born......" type of thing (sorry, I'm bad at birth announcements but you get the general idea!). Good luck!

YorkieDorkie Mon 18-Apr-16 20:31:58

I'm from York and I think Eleanor is beautiful! Just keep using it! I had to keep overusing my DDs name to make it set in my head. It's a lovely, classy, understated choice smile.

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