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What do you do when your partner's favourite name is Jayden...?

(180 Posts)
JoJoS123 Sun 27-Mar-16 12:58:56

I'm not knocking the name Jayden, I actually don't hate it. However, the name gets too much grief, so I'd never want to use it!

DH is insisting; in all fairness, I named DS1 (DH picked the middle name) - we said we would do it the other way around, this time sad I wish I hadn't!

Jayden and DS1's name, just does not go. I wouldn't want to use Jayden anyway. Also, as I'm picking the middle, he'd be Jayden Oliver... Honestly, I could cope with Oliver Jayden (even though it's not what I'd like) but DH is saying it isn't fair! blush help!!!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:01:31

He's right, it wouldn't be fair of you, as you happily agreed when you chose ds1 name,

I don't know. Plead plead and more pleading..

BrightandEarly Sun 27-Mar-16 13:02:17

Would he settle for Hayden? That has a more classical feel for me.

Or if he'd like to call him "Jay" as nn might he agree to having James as the full name?

ChasingPavements Sun 27-Mar-16 13:03:11


WorraLiberty Sun 27-Mar-16 13:04:02

If you don't hate the name, then you should probably consider that this whole 'Jayden snobbery' thing, exists mostly just on Mumsnet.

I know a couple of Jaydens in real life and they are lovely, well adjusted kids.

To my knowledge, no-one has ever even remarked upon their names, but then I don't live in Mumsnet world grin

If you like it, don't let the twats put you off.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:04:04

Good solution Bright. James Oliver nn Jay

ACandidBlueandWhiteRoom Sun 27-Mar-16 13:04:04

Do not, under any circumstances, agree to a name that you don't like. I did, and I still regret it, and my child's now in his teens.

I don't like the sound of it. I don't like writing it. I don't like having to say it. I don't like having to introduce him to people using it. It is a massive issue for me (yes, I know I do sound insane - it's a far bigger deal to me than it ought to be, but I literally lie awake at night thinking about it sometimes)

Alternatively, wait for other posts from people who aren't quite so unhinged on this topic as I am!

ACandidBlueandWhiteRoom Sun 27-Mar-16 13:04:57

Ah, more hinged posts are already there. That's good. As you were. <gets coat>

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Mar-16 13:05:22

And lets be honest, some of the more 'acceptable' names on Mumsnet sound like fungal infections.

So are you really going to let people here put you off?

ShowOfHands Sun 27-Mar-16 13:06:36

There's a difference between one parent picking a name they prefer and them picking a name the other person hates.

It's only fair if he hated your DS1's name too.

Explain that you genuinely hate it and I can't imagine any partner insisting upon a name which makes you wince.

The name itself is irrelevant.

SanityClause Sun 27-Mar-16 13:06:45

You did the deal with him, so you really do have to stick with it.

(Does anyone remeber the thread about the baby called Blanche? grin)

A better idea would have been to go for a name you both liked for the first, even if it wasn't your absolute fave. Then you would have more say, this time.

Jaydon is a biblical name, so perhaps you could mention that to any cats bum mouthers.

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Mar-16 13:07:22

The OP says that she doesn't hate it confused

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:07:31

That must be awful ACandid. Does your dc like his/her name? I totally understand, names are so personal. I named my future dc when I was 13 (Paul and Jonathan-needless to say none of my three DSes are either Paul or Jonathan grin)

JoJoS123 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:08:39

Well, I don't particularly like the name, I'd never pick it myself. But I suppose that's the point of him choosing sad I think the difference is, he actually quite liked my favourite name (DS's name) and I liked his (DS's middle name)... I just feel like, I'll always be "his name is Jayden, DH picked it" - like people need to know that... James is nice, I'd definitely agree to that! (I know it isn't all about me) I'll ask him what he thinks, I actually like Hayden too, I'd also agree - I'll give him that also x

SwedishEdith Sun 27-Mar-16 13:08:41

Is he winding you up? Did he hate your choice? If not, say the agreement only applies as long as you both don't hate the name.

ClashCityRocker Sun 27-Mar-16 13:09:10

I think either parent should be able to veto names, regardless of the reason.

I mean, if you wanted to call ds1 Engelbert I'm sure he would have stepped in. It's all very well one parent picking the name but surely both parents have to agree on it?

Unless he hated ds1s name that you chose and went along with it?

James Oliver....I would worry about his first name being shortened (lengthened?) to Jamie....

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:01

Jamie Oliver will be in his 60's when the ops James is any age to notice. And how many people are called by their first and second names together.

ClashCityRocker Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:05

This being MN I am probably going to get someone coming along and saying they have an Engelbert....

JoJoS123 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:06

Oh, I never thought of Jamie Oliver blush oh dear... I'd be happy to change Oliver, if he was happy to change Jayden!

He didn't hate DS's name, he quite liked it!

PhilPhilConnors Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:12

I assume that if you'd chosen a name that your DH hated, he would have had a say in it.

Do not agree to a name you hate.

ShowOfHands Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:14

No I know worra. As I said the name is irrelevant. She hates the idea of it. That won't change.

Our names are so much part of our identity and the first thing we choose to bestow upon them. You shouldn't have to say it apologetically and mid cringe. Or you end up like the pp who isn't unhinged at all, just full of regret.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:44

Did your DH like ds1's name though? I'd say he can choose but you have to like it too. You wouldn't want it to affect how you feel about your child at a vulnerable time

You can't name your child a name you dislike/doesn't work for you.

ClashCityRocker Sun 27-Mar-16 13:13:10

He's only 40!

ClashCityRocker Sun 27-Mar-16 13:14:53

What about Jacob? Similar in my head to Jayden?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:15:17

Yes so in about 20 years 60 grin. I expect there are loads Of James Oliver out there, they are both popular names. Anyhoo, I expect the op would happily exchange her Oliver for something else if Jayden gets shelved..

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