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you never offer an opinion on a name do you??

(29 Posts)
Haudyerwheesht Thu 03-Mar-16 23:10:50

Friend is pregnant with a boy and has chosen the name Alex. Her Dd is called Alice.

I think they are way too similar but am not mentioning it because it's not my business is it? She asked me if I liked the name and I said yes because I do but I wouldn't use it with Alice as a sibling.

I don't think sibling names have to 'go' together but I do think you should try and avoid confusion by not using similar names.

So 2 questions. :

1. Does anyone else think the same as me?
2. I'm doing the right thing not mentioning anything aren't I? (Disclaimer ; she's an old friend but not a best friend)

whatdoIget Thu 03-Mar-16 23:15:09

Has she forgotten what her dd is called? Yes you did the right thing but I think I would have struggled not to have sounded rather surprised in that situation, so you must have much better self control than I have

EssentialHummus Thu 03-Mar-16 23:16:56

If she genuinely asked for your opinion I'd be minded to say you like it but wonder if they'll both come running when one is called!

Unless she plans for him to be Xander or Sasha or something.

BikeRunSki Thu 03-Mar-16 23:22:29

I am called Alice. DM wanted to call my younger sister Alexandra, but DF told her not to be so ridiculous. I'd be temp

Haudyerwheesht Thu 03-Mar-16 23:23:26

This is the thing she made a point of saying it was Alex not Alexander.

She asked for my opinion on the name not the combination and because she can be a bit tetchy I chickened out.

I kind of smiled when she told me because I thought there was going to be a punchline but nope totally serious....

BikeRunSki Thu 03-Mar-16 23:24:00

... Tempted to say something like "ooh, very similar to Alex, could be confusing ha ha!"

PurpleDaisies Thu 03-Mar-16 23:25:34

I agree with you but no way I would say anything. I have a friend with daughters Emma and Emily. It is very difficult to remember which is which!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 03-Mar-16 23:45:44

If I was asked my opinion. I'd tell them.
I know of couple with a daughter Jodie and a son Joe, so effectively could end up with a Jo and a Joe. Just like your friend could end up with 2 Als.
They've never asked my opinion, so I've never gave it.

Lweji Thu 03-Mar-16 23:53:19

Don't say anything.

It's a perfect set up that avoids calling one when you mean to call the other.
What do you mean I said Alice? I clearly said Alex, FGS.

TheNewStatesman Fri 04-Mar-16 01:04:13

LOL at Emma and Emily!

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 05-Mar-16 20:15:37

I'd have said something.

thefourgp Sat 05-Mar-16 20:22:00

People don't want your real opinion when discussing baby names. They want you to say 'yes that's lovely'. Repeat after me 'yes that's lovely'. Ha ha. One of my friends has three children and all have short names beginning with the letter E. Another friend commented on it and she got majorly pissed off. Baby names are very personal. Each to their own. X

Woodenmouse Sat 05-Mar-16 20:26:34

My db's girlfriend is called Alex and my cousins gf is called. Alice, when everyone was over at Christmas it was really confusing. It's also confusing now when some one says Alex did something it results in everyone asking Alex or Alice?

SwedishEdith Sat 05-Mar-16 20:27:50

I'd have said, "Don't you already have an Alex? Oh, no, she's Alice isn't she?" - if I could get away with that.

MoggieMaeEverso Sat 05-Mar-16 20:37:44

A friend posted online next to a bump pic something like "Can't wait to meet Matthewina!" (Not real name but similar idea) Everyone who commented said "oh is that baby's name? How lovely" before she came back and said oh of course not, Matthew is a family name and I was just joking with mum. That's the level of blind politeness that one should aspire to in the world of baby names smile

lljkk Sat 05-Mar-16 20:37:56

I am foreign so not good at this British pussy footing around. Why do you people do these things, ask a simple question only never wanting an honest answer.

My friend's wife & DD are Zara & Sara. I like friend a lot but cannot for life of me remember which name belongs to who and will go to great lengths to avoid saying either name. At least Alex & Alice are gendered.

MoggieMaeEverso Sat 05-Mar-16 20:38:39

Having said that, I probably would say something in person if it were a good friend!

JudgeJudySheindlin Sat 05-Mar-16 20:42:33

I would have to say something; after all, this is your friend who values your opinion or she wouldn't have asked? Why not mention next time you see her how you were telling (insert name of another friend/parent/dog/budgie etc) what lovely names Alice & Alex were & it was only then that you realised how alike they are? Or be blunt about it - great names, just not together.

ILiveForNachos Sun 06-Mar-16 08:43:04

Unless specifically asked for my opinion I wouldn't have commented. What people want to call their kids is totally up to them. Why make them feel bad just because you think different??

Maybe I'm sensitive at the mo as trying to think of baby names and fed up of everyone having and opinion when I've not asked for one 😂

Jw35 Sun 06-Mar-16 13:33:45

I would have said something since she's obviously asking your opinion! Agree names have to sound right together.

allegretto Sun 06-Mar-16 13:37:39

I don't see the problem! It doesn't really matter that they are similar. You are often calling them both together anyway.

AuntieStella Sun 06-Mar-16 13:40:32

In RL, no, say nothing adverse ever.

Even on MN in the topic, where people know that it's a bunch of random commenting on names and their resonances, you can find OPs who really object to even the slightest hint of criticism (most however really are looking opinions and welcome all shades). I'll say what I think here. But you wouldn't spot me in real life where of course I compliment all names and combination of names.

mrsnec Sun 06-Mar-16 13:59:22

Lots of people gave me their opinions on my children's names. In RL more than here tbh.

I think you can easily make the point and still be tactful about it.

The comments I had on both of mine were neither positive or negative but I didn't take offence and it made me think that it is acceptable to give your opinion on such things.

BeauticianNotMagician81 Sun 06-Mar-16 18:41:06

I would have just told her they sound similar. That isn't mean just stating a fact.

I never ask people if they like my children's names. They are all slightly different names so I know they are quite marmite. If I asked then I would expect an honest opinion. For example my sister would tell me if I was likely to regret a name but she would say it tactfully. That's really different to my MIL who when told my ds3s name (not asked her opinion) stated "what a stupid name. I won't be calling him that" hmm

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe Sun 06-Mar-16 18:42:40

I agree with you, they don't work together and it will be a PITA.

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