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Polite ways of not answering the "What baby name are you thinking of?" question

(83 Posts)
goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 02-Feb-16 20:05:48

Apologies if this has been asked before. I'm expecting PFB in 2 weeks, and have noticed an increase in people asking what name we've "chosen". I try not to answer by saying "Oh, we have a couple in mind..." and change the subject, but twice recently I've had people persist and ask what the name is, so I've had to bluntly say we're not telling people. Is there a more polite way to deflect and shut down the question?

I tried to Google, thinking there would be loads of articles about this but can't find anything...

Jenijena Tue 02-Feb-16 20:07:48

'It's between Rainbow Sky and Gertrude Maximillian'

newyear16 Tue 02-Feb-16 20:09:14

Just say you haven't decided or make a joke out of it eg Englebert Humperdinck if it's a boy or Fanny Craddock if it's a girl.

3sleepingchildren Tue 02-Feb-16 20:10:28

Say you've got a few in mind, and will wait to see what suits baby best. And if they persist, say it would feel odd announcing a name in case you decided another one suited better.

We ended up changing dd2's name after she arrived (didn't know we were having a girl, but had a name in mind for both). We used the same names, but in a different order (so middle name first, iyswim). It would have been weird if I had told everyone we would use XYZ only to end up calling her YXZ!

GoldPlatedBacon Tue 02-Feb-16 20:10:46

Ditto Jenijena - craziest the better, it's so much fun grin

janethegirl2 Tue 02-Feb-16 20:10:47

Tell them you'll let them know when you've seen the baby. I wanted to call my dd one name, but every time I called her that she'd cry ( even at a day old) so we called her a name she was 'Happy' with.

Borninthe60s Tue 02-Feb-16 20:11:41

I'd say yes we've a shortlist but before you ask we aren't revealing what's on it!

Clobbered Tue 02-Feb-16 20:13:02

What's wrong with being blunt if people are rude enough to persist? They have no right to be so intrusive.
"We haven't decided yet" is a good enough answer, and just keep repeating until they get bored. Alternatively "Do you mean to be so intrusive and persistent?"

MyFriendsCallMeOh Tue 02-Feb-16 20:14:26

Tell them you're thinking of using their name so when Janet asks you, you can say "we really like Janet, even for a boy". Walk away before they can think of a response.

Berthatydfil Tue 02-Feb-16 20:15:54

Thing is if they are rude enough to persist after you politely deflect the question then I think you would be excused for bluntly saying you're not telling and could they please accept that and stop asking.

Duckdeamon Tue 02-Feb-16 20:16:25

What's wrong with "we're not discussing it with anyone".

Wolfiefan Tue 02-Feb-16 20:17:10

Say we aren't sure yet or even better that you will decide once you actually see your baby.

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 02-Feb-16 20:17:16

Ooh, "we haven't decided yet" is good.

The trouble with a shortlist is that people ask for all the names on the shortlist. I think they just like to hear them out of curiosity hmm

I have no real problem with being blunt, but I'm trying to make new mummy friends locally so don't want to piss anyone off if there's a way to avoid that (I'm not the nicest person usually...)

Justmuddlingalong Tue 02-Feb-16 20:18:27

If it's a boy 'Willy'
If it's a girl 'Fanny' grin

DingbatsFur Tue 02-Feb-16 20:19:06

"We think the name Chlamydia is lovely, or Hitler for a boy."

GloriaHotcakes Tue 02-Feb-16 20:21:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThursdayLastWeek Tue 02-Feb-16 20:23:27

I just say 'I'm not telling you' with a grin grin
Especially to my mother!

MoggieMaeEverso Tue 02-Feb-16 20:23:47

The reason that you haven't found any articles about this issue is that it's not considered rude to say "We're keeping the names a secret for now."

Loads of people do it and I can assure you it's really, really not considered impolite! Just make sure you smilesmile

MoggieMaeEverso Tue 02-Feb-16 20:25:19

Just saw your last post... Oh goodness if it's other mums you have nothing to worry about! They've all been through the same thing.

Congratulations on PFB. You'll be a great mum.

HippyPottyMouth Tue 02-Feb-16 20:36:53

My stock response was 'DH was angling for Tiberius, after Captain Kirk, but since we found it was a girl we're back to the drawing board.'

LordOfMisrule Tue 02-Feb-16 20:37:39

Tell them its a secret! Only a complete idiot would continue to ask after they've heard that. Then you tell them how rude they are, if they do persist.

ChineseDragonLady Tue 02-Feb-16 20:40:39

We have a few in mind but we aren't sharing them until after the baby is born.

TendonQueen Tue 02-Feb-16 20:48:27

The crazy name strategy, with a straight face, and get offended if they don't believe you're going to call the baby Anaconda.

lljkk Tue 02-Feb-16 21:03:37

Why not just tell them the actual names you are thinking about, not a state secret is it? Isn't that how most people reply?

Mind you, I'd save a few for people who are pushy about knowing, like...

"Fido. It goes well with our pet cats Rex and Spot"

crumpet Tue 02-Feb-16 21:07:54

I just said that i'd wait to see what it looked like before deciding on a name. It happened to be true not only because we chose not to find out the sex of the baby in advance, but also because a friend had been determined to call her baby one name, and when he was born immediately chose another as the first name didn't fit.

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